Seeking Techniques to Overcome Fear

Can anyone suggest some simple techniques to overcome fear? One of my friends shows enthusiasm in attending interviews and even gets selected. However, when the time for joining arrives, she gets scared and leaves the opportunity. The reason behind this behavior is that she presumes she is not capable, cannot handle the work pressure, and therefore, cannot survive for a longer time in the company and may be fired. This has happened to her many times. It's not that she is not serious about her career. Please help her by responding to this post.

Regards,
Swetha

From India, Hyderabad
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Your friend needs some help in motivation. She needs to realize her self-worth. Can you please provide more generic information about your friend, such as:

- Education
- Age
- Previous work experience (if any)
- Financial condition (below/above middle class)

This world is a tough place, and it will become tougher for her to live with such an attitude and self-doubt!

Recommended Books

If she is a reader, consider these books:

- "You Can Win"
- "The Secret"
- "Art of Assertiveness"

From Kuwait, Salmiya
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ACT
498

There are a number of reasons why people are afraid. Similarly, the degree of fear and the root cause of fear could vary from situation to situation. However, for the limited purpose of the case you have shared, let me put forth a few reasons and practical tips to overcome it.

- Lack of self-belief. This can be primarily due to some nasty experience with a previous employer or the result of some harsh criticism that your friend has faced. What she needs to understand is that if she is selected, it means that she is first among equals, which in itself is a clear appreciation of her abilities, qualifications, and capabilities.

- Tendency to have negative thoughts. Over a period, this tendency can magnify itself to such an extent that one will see demons in every situation that one visualizes. The person needs to then focus on the numerous successes that she has achieved, ensure she is around people who are positive by nature and cheerfully motivate and encourage. She can also mentally work out how she plans to go about making a success of her job.

- Having unrealistic and difficult-to-achieve standards of excellence. Some people tend to keep targets far in excess of their abilities. Every setback or failure is then seen as a disaster. She will then need to be more pragmatic, realistic, and down-to-earth if she has to find a balance between her true abilities and her performance benchmarks.

- Comparisons with superlative successful peers. Nothing is worse than making comparisons with peers who could have done well in their chosen field. The problem here is we do not see the risks they take, the lucky breaks they get, the price they pay for success, and so we believe that we too must attain the same even if we are not able to pay the same price they pay for success.

She may also benefit from inputs on fear, self-confidence, goal setting, etc., from the following Inspirational and Motivational Blogs.

- www.actspot.wordpress.com - Over 93,500 views and 625 followers
- www.poweract.blogspot.com - Over 28,500 views and 165 followers

However, in the case referred above, you suggest that the lady has exhibited this tendency a number of times. While some or all of the above problems could be affecting her, in my view, she would possibly need more expert psychological intervention than merely relying on my reply.

Regards

From India, Mumbai
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Hello Hussain,

Firstly, thank you so much for replying to my post. I am providing you the information asked for a better understanding of the problem.

Qualification: MBA (HR)

Age: 25

Previous Work Experience: Has worked for 3 months for a startup company and left the job since she was facing some problems with the manager (Operations Head).

Financial Condition: Lower middle class

With Regards,
Swetha

From India, Hyderabad
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