Please read slowly and carefully, preferably aloud. Euro English is coming.
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English."
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Certainly, this will make the civil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of "k". This should clear up confusion, and keyboards can have one less letter.
There will be growing public enthusiasm in the second year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "photograph" 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, public acceptance of the new spelling can be expected to reach the stage where more complicated changes are possible. Governments will encourage the removal of double letters which have always been a deterrent to accurate spelling. Also, all will agree that the horrible mess of the silent "e" in the language is disgraceful and it should go away.
By the 4th year, people will be receptive to steps such as replacing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During the fifth year, the unnecessary "o" can be dropped from words containing "ou" and after this fifth year, we will have a real sensible written style.
There will be no more trouble or difficulties, and everyone will find it easy to understand each other. The dream of a united Europe will finally come true. And after the fifth year, we will all be speaking German like they wanted in the first place.
From India, Bangalore
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20The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English."
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Certainly, this will make the civil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of "k". This should clear up confusion, and keyboards can have one less letter.
There will be growing public enthusiasm in the second year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "photograph" 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, public acceptance of the new spelling can be expected to reach the stage where more complicated changes are possible. Governments will encourage the removal of double letters which have always been a deterrent to accurate spelling. Also, all will agree that the horrible mess of the silent "e" in the language is disgraceful and it should go away.
By the 4th year, people will be receptive to steps such as replacing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During the fifth year, the unnecessary "o" can be dropped from words containing "ou" and after this fifth year, we will have a real sensible written style.
There will be no more trouble or difficulties, and everyone will find it easy to understand each other. The dream of a united Europe will finally come true. And after the fifth year, we will all be speaking German like they wanted in the first place.
From India, Bangalore
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One doesn’t have to be a great astrologer to predict about Indian English, In about 10 years we too will adopt Euro English (as is the case with everything else)
From India, Bangalore
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From India, Bangalore
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Sherine,
Futurologists are not necessarily astrologers. Alvin Toffler is not. To the astrologers, I ask - can you predict and control the behavior of the people around you? If not, how do you claim to predict and control the behavior of the mighty planets moving in distant space? They fumble. So there is no point to feel belittled before them. So cheer up.
Regards,
From India, Delhi
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Futurologists are not necessarily astrologers. Alvin Toffler is not. To the astrologers, I ask - can you predict and control the behavior of the people around you? If not, how do you claim to predict and control the behavior of the mighty planets moving in distant space? They fumble. So there is no point to feel belittled before them. So cheer up.
Regards,
From India, Delhi
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MW Punjab 01-09-2015 - English.PDF
Origin of language.doc