How Would You React to a Fake Farewell Email Meant to Push for a Salary Raise?

Ashwini K
A boss looking through his mailbox was astonished to see an email from an employee who was supposed to be busy working at the client's side on a critical project. The subject line read - "TaTa - Bye Bye." With the worst premonition, he opened the email and read the content with trembling hands:

Dear Sir,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing to you, but I'm leaving the job. The offer was too lucrative and attractive for me to turn down. I had to abscond because I wanted to avoid a scene with HR and you. I am sorry, but I had no choice.

The project is working fine. There are only 108 issues pending, out of which only 38% are high priority. Hence, I am sure there is no need to worry. The next phase of major enhancements I have been working on has been completed halfway. I am sure the new person who would replace me would not understand what all I had done so far. Therefore, for his and your convenience, I have taken care to remove all the work that I had been doing so far for nearly 3 months now. I am sure you will appreciate my insight and "big heart."

I am, of course, retaining the originals that I had retrieved for the purpose of passport verification with me, considering it as a parting gift from you. I will not pay the bond amount that I owe the company (since I am breaking the bond). But I will consider this as a parting gift from our dear company. I am moving out of town since the new company is situated in another city.

Also, I have changed my contact number. So you will not be able to get in touch with me to congratulate me. But I know your blessings are always with me. Last but not least, I also have the Rs 12,000 entrusted to me by our company's cultural events group for the upcoming movie event. I am sure you would have wanted me to keep it with myself as an added bonus from our company. I respect you very much; hence your wish is my command.

Don't worry, Sir. I have 2 years of experience now, learning so much from your company. So I will surely use this knowledge to write better programs for the new company. Someday, I'm sure we will meet sometime in the future. If you wish, I will be glad to give my employee reference for you to apply for a job in the new company which I am joining.

PS: Dearest Boss, none of the above is true. I am still busy working at the client's side. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my "Request to reconsider my Salary Appraisal" attached with this email. Please approve it and call when it is safe for me to come to our office to discuss this. My respect and best regards to you!
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