Navigating Friendship and Leadership: How to Support Your Friend Who's Now Your Boss

Hi,

What to Do When Your Friend Becomes Boss

Here are six tips for supporting a friend when they become your boss:

Keep your expectations reasonable. The relationship has changed. Things will be different. Your friend will be dealing with a new set of pressures, problems and priorities. Your Wednesday lunches may be preempted by budget meetings. You may not be able to pop into your friend's office for a chat any time you feel like it. Don't add more pressure to your friend by expecting things to remain as they were.

Be respectful – Treat your friend with an appropriate level of workplace courtesy in formal settings. The departmental meeting is not the place to trot out the boss's college nickname (unless everyone uses it).

Maintain confidentiality – Assume everything your new boss tells you is confidential. This is particularly important with past conversations. You shared past confidences as friends; keep the information to yourself. Maintain your integrity in the relationship.

Don't inflate self-importance – It is easy to make it seem like you have special access to the boss. Resist the temptation to tell others how you think the boss will respond, based on your past history.

Avoid being used – Co-workers may see your connection to the boss as a way to work office politics. They might see you as an information conduit to the new boss. Politely resist any advance from other employees. Look for ways to help build a team.

Be “there” for the boss – People are going to be watching the new boss, looking for weaknesses. This is not the time to leave your friend hanging. Look for ways to counter the negativity. Make productive contributions to work meetings and discussions. Maybe you can be a neutral sounding board when the boss needs to cool down.

The process that made your friend the boss was out of your control. How you respond to the new relations is completely within your control. Get your ego and assumptions out of the way. It's time to show what kind of friend you really are.

***********

The armed forces have an excellent way of handling this - they promote you and move you on. This is one lesson that most of us ought to learn. No matter what you think, you will always show a bias to those that you previously worked with.

Hi,

It is a real-time event - it may happen. Tough situation. But when you can take things officially and personally separately, it will be easier to handle and can help avoid consequences. You can even maintain a very good relationship with coworkers/colleagues.

Saravanan
email: saranjanar@gmail.com

Managing employees at the workplace can be a challenging process. But what do you do when you are suddenly promoted and some of the employees you are managing are also your friends?



Here are 7 quick tips that will help you manoeuvre your way around this potential minefield:

1. Lay down the ground rules right from the start. Speak to each one of your friends privately and inform them that friends or not, business is still business. Inform them you expect them to continue to work, as they have been; professional at all times. Keep your tone pleasant but firm, and let them know that they are still required to follow the rules just like everybody else.

2. Treat your friends the same as the other employees. No better, no worse. If you don't, the other employees will take notice that you're showing favoritism and you will quickly lose their respect.

3. Don't have lunch or take breaks with your friends too often, unless other employees are also included in the group. Remember, people are watching and appearances are everything. Others will think you are sharing confidential ‘secrets' and company / knowledge.

4. When evaluating your friends for raises and/or promotions, make sure the aforementioned raises and promotions are warranted and based solely on job performance, not friendship.

5. Do not discuss other employee's behaviour or performance with your friends at any time.

6. Outside of the workplace, do not discuss job-related issues with your friends.

7. At office parties, celebrations, etc., be aware of seating assignments. Do not associate solely with your friends. Again, make sure other employees are included in the group.

As you can see, managing your friends can be quite a balancing act. However, remember to treat all employees equally and you will be respected.

Chennai.Ibrahim

Hi Jothi,

Thank you for the idea. I am a fresher, but I am sure the methods suggested by you are good ones. It's not that easy to hide your friendship, especially when your boss is in the picture, but it's really a good method to do the same.

Thank you.

Kip :D

Hi,

Fabulous and well thought out of the box. I don't think you've missed any aspect for a good relationship. All that is important is to learn to keep professional and personal life distinctly separate from each other.

Happy Thoughts,
Shikha