Sharing a Few Thoughts for Would-Be Grooms
Recently came across a divorce that happened for the silliest of reasons...at least I was told so! The girl walked out because the guy was always comparing her with his mom! I am not here to judge who was at fault...obviously, both were!
But it's pathetic to know relationships are taken so lightly...
Just sharing a few thoughts that came to mind of what I might advise my own boys!!!!
For Would-Be Grooms:
Rule No. 1 - Never compare your mom's cooking with your wife's! There is no faster way to dig your own grave than that! Please understand that your mom's cooking has the backing of 20 odd years of experience...don't expect that from your wife who's hardly into the process! What if she were to compare your earning capacity with her dad's!!! So shush!!!
Rule No. 2: Never go out of your way to please the lady with flowers, chocolates, and gifts during your engagement period. If ever you do, please follow it up post-wedding too! When you could cover 20kms in 15 minutes when you are engaged just to spend some time with her, how dare you forget her birthday post-marriage, even after you are given the broadest of hints by her!
Remember expectations always double...ever heard of them being halved???
Rule No. 3: Do compliment her every now and then, verbally or with gifts! What are those lovely teddies and Archies gift cards for? Don't sit there like the Lord of the Rings expecting to be waited upon! Of course, she will do it, but everyone likes to be appreciated and pampered!!!
Rule No. 4: This is very important! Sulking or complaining about marriage being a big mistake is a strict no-no!! You got into it with your eyes wide open, brimming with enthusiasm!! No one ever pushed you into it! So why this drama now!
Rule No. 5: Be brave and take your own decisions and stand by them!!
Consult your parents for advice but realize that you are grown up enough to lead your life! Respect your partner's views at all times! Remember she has given up a lot more to make a life with you!!
Sharing Thoughts for Would-Be Brides. (Don't know how many will take it in the right sense. But still...)
1. Don't expect too much from him. The less the expectations, the lesser the disappointments.
2. Don't ever dare to plan any outing or movie on a day when there is an interesting cricket match going on. Remember sports, particularly cricket, are more important to him than anything else. You spoil his day, and he spoils yours.
3. Over emotions, sentiments... Whoa... What are these? Tears are not going to give any results either. It's just temporary attention that you get. No one likes cry babies or whining wives.
4. Never dare to cross with his mother. Even if he says, "My mom's cooking is the best. You are nothing in front of her," take it easily with a smile. Tell him that you are learning from his mother and will try to do it better. You are not going to lose anything!
5. Try to know his friends and understand that they are also part of his world. Allow him to spend a few weekends or occasional night out parties with his friends. But at the same time, make sure that you get your due importance! It must not be that he roams around with his friends forgetting that you exist at home.
6. Don't start fighting for silly things. Forgetting birthdays and anniversaries is not a big mistake. Men are not blessed with 2GB RAM for storing everything in main memory. If you are very particular about presents, gifts, and parties on your birthdays and anniversaries, make sure you remind them well in advance by some means. (I know it sounds stupid. But if you are so particular, do it for your own good.)
7. Take him for your shopping only if he's interested. If you are going for window shopping or for saree purchase, better go with your friends or go alone. He is better off at the office/home watching cricket.
8. Give him importance always. Show due care and affection. That's the only way to win a guy's mind.
Regards,
AK
Recently came across a divorce that happened for the silliest of reasons...at least I was told so! The girl walked out because the guy was always comparing her with his mom! I am not here to judge who was at fault...obviously, both were!
But it's pathetic to know relationships are taken so lightly...
Just sharing a few thoughts that came to mind of what I might advise my own boys!!!!
For Would-Be Grooms:
Rule No. 1 - Never compare your mom's cooking with your wife's! There is no faster way to dig your own grave than that! Please understand that your mom's cooking has the backing of 20 odd years of experience...don't expect that from your wife who's hardly into the process! What if she were to compare your earning capacity with her dad's!!! So shush!!!
Rule No. 2: Never go out of your way to please the lady with flowers, chocolates, and gifts during your engagement period. If ever you do, please follow it up post-wedding too! When you could cover 20kms in 15 minutes when you are engaged just to spend some time with her, how dare you forget her birthday post-marriage, even after you are given the broadest of hints by her!
Remember expectations always double...ever heard of them being halved???
Rule No. 3: Do compliment her every now and then, verbally or with gifts! What are those lovely teddies and Archies gift cards for? Don't sit there like the Lord of the Rings expecting to be waited upon! Of course, she will do it, but everyone likes to be appreciated and pampered!!!
Rule No. 4: This is very important! Sulking or complaining about marriage being a big mistake is a strict no-no!! You got into it with your eyes wide open, brimming with enthusiasm!! No one ever pushed you into it! So why this drama now!
Rule No. 5: Be brave and take your own decisions and stand by them!!
Consult your parents for advice but realize that you are grown up enough to lead your life! Respect your partner's views at all times! Remember she has given up a lot more to make a life with you!!
Sharing Thoughts for Would-Be Brides. (Don't know how many will take it in the right sense. But still...)
1. Don't expect too much from him. The less the expectations, the lesser the disappointments.
2. Don't ever dare to plan any outing or movie on a day when there is an interesting cricket match going on. Remember sports, particularly cricket, are more important to him than anything else. You spoil his day, and he spoils yours.
3. Over emotions, sentiments... Whoa... What are these? Tears are not going to give any results either. It's just temporary attention that you get. No one likes cry babies or whining wives.
4. Never dare to cross with his mother. Even if he says, "My mom's cooking is the best. You are nothing in front of her," take it easily with a smile. Tell him that you are learning from his mother and will try to do it better. You are not going to lose anything!
5. Try to know his friends and understand that they are also part of his world. Allow him to spend a few weekends or occasional night out parties with his friends. But at the same time, make sure that you get your due importance! It must not be that he roams around with his friends forgetting that you exist at home.
6. Don't start fighting for silly things. Forgetting birthdays and anniversaries is not a big mistake. Men are not blessed with 2GB RAM for storing everything in main memory. If you are very particular about presents, gifts, and parties on your birthdays and anniversaries, make sure you remind them well in advance by some means. (I know it sounds stupid. But if you are so particular, do it for your own good.)
7. Take him for your shopping only if he's interested. If you are going for window shopping or for saree purchase, better go with your friends or go alone. He is better off at the office/home watching cricket.
8. Give him importance always. Show due care and affection. That's the only way to win a guy's mind.
Regards,
AK