Feeling Lonely in HR: Has Your Role Ever Affected Your Friendships at Work?

Hi friends,

I would like to share with you one of my hardest experiences. I work as an HR Executive in an Engineering concern. I have been handling this post for the past 2 years, but I have been serving the company for the past 3 years. For a period of 1 year from the date of joining, I was performing the role of a secretary to my Chief Executive. At that point in time, as per my job profile, I had to coordinate with all the department members. However, after designating me as the HR, I was isolated from everyone and given a separate cabin.

I am an extroverted person and enjoy making friends. When I was a secretary, I had many friends. But when I became the HR, the number of friends decreased. Nonetheless, I had one true friend with whom I used to share all my personal and professional matters, and that friend proved to be loyal to me. I had only one friend in my entire office since I became the HR, as no one was willing to consider me as their friend. This didn't bother me much, as I felt that having that one true friend was sufficient for my life.

Recently, he got engaged 2 to 3 days ago, and just yesterday, my true friend called me and said that he would not be speaking to me anymore, as per his fiancée's request. I was shocked and became emotional, but I didn't show it.

Friends, I know that this is not related to the forum, but I felt very lonely and found no one to share this with. I just want to ask you one thing, dear friends: Are you guys like this? To my knowledge, I have only seen girls behave like this.

Kindly apologize for wasting your precious time.

Dear Sowmya,

Sorry to hear about ur situation.. but my only suggestion is just forget about that friend and continue ur work...i know it is hard to do so...but don't get emotionally stuck with one person... if u do so, only ur life may get spoiled of thinking about ur friend...there are lot more people in this world who value real friendship... don't waste ur time for the person who thinks it is a waste spending time for u....though my words sound harsh, take it as a suggestion from a new friend dear...i'm one of the victim who faced the same situation in my life...so do not worry..go ahead with ur goals...be cheerful... :)

not all guys are like your friend, it is not the problem with your friend, it is the problem with the society...our Indian culture doesn't accept a friendship between a guy and a girl...until we are friends it doesnt matter, but when it comes to marital relationship, guys and girls become tooooooo possessive and the problem arises...so this happens in everybody's life... don't think that only ur friend had behaved like this...all the married people face this kind of problem...as i already told u..forget about the past and be more initiative in achieving ur goals... never get emotionally stuck with people...

Don't let someone become a priority in u r life….whn u r just an option in their life….Relationships work best whn thy are balanced....

regards,

Maria Merlin

Soumya, Maria has correctly put that in by saying that relationships work best when they are balanced. The problem with us is that when we get to know the truth and reality, it is too late.

But you don't worry. Even I have faced this problem in the recent past, and my advice over this matter is that try not to indulge too much before judging the person because it is going to harm you more than anybody else. Do not get disheartened, dear. That which is not with you was not meant for you.

Hi,

Friendship and official work don't mingle. The person you think is true in your words, think about that person's situation as well. In my opinion, once we understand each other, no situation will ever separate us; that is friendship. If you do your work effectively, you will gain more true friends.

By Praveen

Hi Praveen,

You have asked me to understand his situation. But I don't think that his situation is bad enough to put an end to his friendship. In my opinion, everything was in his hands. If he had respected their friendship, he would have tried to explain things to his better half in a calm and composed manner once things had settled down, not when they had just started. I don't blame his better half because anyone in her position would have done the same thing. However, it was my friend's duty to explain it to her.

I have come to understand one thing: if the friend wanted to give such importance to his better half that he would do anything for her, like what he has done now, then he should not have had any friendships with girls. Why did he do so when he was sure that this would occur in the future?

Sowmya

Hi Sowmya,

Pinki, Praveen, and Siva are correct. As I already told you, don't waste your time and energy on this issue. It is always better to maintain some distance. Just place yourself in your friend's situation. If your hubby says to stop talking to your friend, what will you do? There are so many things that are practically not possible, so just ignore these things and concentrate more on your career. We girls are born to shine in this world, not to sit and cry for small reasons. Be cheerful and bolder to face this challenging world, dear.

Regards, Maria Merlin

Dear Sowmya,

I think that person was impressed with your behavior and character, and he would have kept something in his mind about you. Suddenly, because you are engaged, he is moving away from you. It is good for you, also, I think. But it is natural that one will be attracted if there is closeness and sharing of feelings. I have seen many cases like this. Be happy.