Struggling with a Manager Who Lacks Empathy and Overloads Us with Tasks – How Do I Cope?

Concerns with Manager's Empathy and Planning

I work for a software company that is part of one of the prestigious banks in the world, and my project is related to an internal dashboard. The issue is with my manager's lack of empathy and common sense, which is getting on my nerves!

A few things I observed are:

1. He acts as if he doesn't care if the employee is sick or not. A typical example to cite here is, once I had a high fever and messaged him that I wanted to take leave. His reply was simply "Ok." When I tried to clarify a few work-related things, to my utter surprise, he asked me to complete them!

2. He clearly lacks planning. We are part of a sprint and are supposed to complete a particular user story. However, all we knew was that it must be completed ASAP; we didn't know the deadline. Without even considering our estimates, he sent notifications to all the users with upcoming features and a deadline. This led to confusion and surprise as we all worked tirelessly for 12 hours a day for nearly two weeks without any weekends off. What's even more disturbing is that towards the end of the deadline, he called us around 10 pm and demanded that we complete the tasks. It didn't seem like a request but more of a manager commanding work from subordinates.

3. It's been a year since I started working under him, and there hasn't been a single day where he appreciated any of his subordinates!

After experiencing all of the above, I am feeling very uncomfortable and insecure working under him. I want to share all of this with him, but he is notoriously known for retaliating (as it happened with one of our ex-colleagues). I'm not sure how to handle this. Any suggestions?

Team Dynamics and Managerial Challenges

How many members are there in your team?

Unfortunately, there are a few managers who only care about output and lack empathy or team spirit. How are the other team members reacting to such pressure and feeling unappreciated?

Addressing Managerial Issues

One of you should speak indirectly to the manager, explaining the problems and pressure, and suggesting alternatives while keeping targets in mind. The manager seems to have an ego and display arrogance based on what you have written. However, he will have his own viewpoints and issues to address. Try to interact and find a balance. Managers need to deliver, but some may adopt an unfeeling, directive work style.

Seeking Change and Alternatives

If there is no change after interacting, remember that your approach should be positive and supported by evidence of work completed, illustrating how tasks could have been done without sudden night calls, etc. If despite sincere efforts, things remain unchanged, start looking for alternative job opportunities. An authoritative person like this manager may have been the subject of employee complaints. When you talk to him, be diplomatic and fact-oriented.

Thank you, @nathro, for sharing your views. We are a team of five, and one member has already decided to leave the project. Most of our team members have over 10 years of experience. They hold a primitive notion that whatever the manager commands, they are ready to obey, without realizing how it affects the work culture. Yes, I am going to express my views along with all the facts and concerns that are impacting my personal life. I will keep you updated on the discussions with my manager.

Understanding Managerial Demands and Team Dynamics

Apparently, you are being subjected to uncomfortable work demands by your manager. You have expressed your side of the problem. We also need to understand the manager's perspective—what is causing him to be so exceptionally demanding and insensitive to the feelings of his team members. The intense competition in the business world, demanding customers, and the need to meet project deadlines without fail all contribute to the immense pressure on managers. However, the right approach is to support the team by leading from the front and setting examples. Perhaps there is a breakdown in communication, and the manager is unintentionally creating a divide.

I believe that a heart-to-heart conversation between the manager and the team members could help resolve this issue by establishing mutual expectations, clarifying common work goals, and outlining ways to achieve them.

I suggest requesting a meeting with your manager as soon as possible to address these issues openly rather than working with suppressed emotions, which is not beneficial for anyone in the long run.

Regards,
Vinayak Nagarkar
HR and Employee Relations Consultant