Struggling with a Hypocritical Boss: How Can I Navigate This Without Losing My Job?

Hello people.

How are you? This is my first post in this forum. I am happy to find such a forum that helps people in trouble like me. I recently joined a company as an HR executive 7 months ago. My team consists of 12 colleagues, including me. Everyone is good, supportive, and helps me with my problems. I joined as a fresher from college.

Now the major problem for me is my boss, who is a hypocrite. He tells me to do something, and when I do it, he says he did not ask me to do it. If the work done is good, he receives praise from senior members, but if the work is not good, he tells me he is not happy with me. He also claims that all top management has complaints against me regarding my attitude problem (which I am sure I don't have). I wanted to discuss it with my colleagues, but I am not sure who the boss likes. What if that person goes and tells the boss about this? I don't want to lose my job, nor do I want to leave my first company too soon.

How do I deal with this? Is this what the corporate world is like? Please don't suggest talking to him because he has an ego problem. If he takes it the wrong way, then I am in trouble again. From my colleagues, I don't know whom to trust and whom not to. I also feel that they have a problem with him, but no one is talking about it because they are afraid.

Waiting for practical, sensible, and serious suggestions.

Hi,

Welcome to the world of Corporate, and gaining such experience is really good. This is not only your problem; it's a common issue that every fresher has to face when joining companies. These older staff members can't always welcome new joiners easily due to their ego, thinking they have more knowledge and experience. Therefore, they often criticize new employees even when they are doing the right thing.

My suggestion is that whenever you are given assignments, ask questions and seek clarification from the senior staff member. Show your progress to him regularly and ensure you are following his instructions precisely. This way, if he tries to blame you for not doing something correctly, you can confidently explain that you completed the task as per his guidance. Make him feel respected and valued, even if you know better.

Remember the saying, "Waqt padne par to gadhe ko bhi Baap bana na Padta Hai." It means that circumstances can make even the most unlikely things happen.

Please consider this as a friendly suggestion. I apologize if it doesn't suit your preferences.

Hi there,

One has to tackle situations like this very smartly. There isn't one solution to the problem as the environment you work in varies from organization to organization. Hence, if a particular solution works in one organization, it may or may not work in another.

Having said that, what I do a lot of times when my boss asks me to do a particular job is to either get it in pen and paper from him or ask him to email me the task to be done. This way, he doesn't have the opportunity to say, "I haven't asked you to do this."

Hope it helps.

Ambita

Hi, Dear

Don't take it too seriously, and don't hesitate to discuss the issue with your senior. As a fresher, it is a learning phase for you, so take it as a challenge and do your work confidently.

With regards,

Prateek Kulshrestha

Hi boss,

It is not only with you or just with freshers; this can be done by anyone. Don't worry, gain experience from your recent company, learn new things, and when the right time comes, seize new opportunities. You will find them everywhere. Just play nicely, don't get frustrated, and try to gain the confidence of your boss if possible.

Best of luck

Hi,

Play smartly, and things will fall into place wherever you go. Regardless of the organization, you will encounter people like your boss. So, don't get disheartened; have confidence.

Regards,
Shekar

Hi,

You should not be worried. Every fresher should go through this kind of situation. It makes you more competent and professional. In fact, this is the corporate world. Try to learn from your boss as well; he is teaching you a lot indirectly.

Regards, Sunil Singhal

Hi,

I appreciate you for understanding your boss and work environment within such a short span of time.

As per my knowledge and understanding, you have three ways to tackle this situation:

1. Either be quiet and stay in the company until you can adjust.
2. Leave the company.
3. Talk.

My suggestion...

Go ahead, talk to your boss directly. I know he's egoistic, but see him for what he is - your boss. At this stage, it's more important for you to learn and grow. You can leave the company, but then who will be affected? It's only you. Go to him, ask him for feedback, give him importance, and finally, take him into your confidence.

It will definitely work out.

Any task he gives you, your updates should be both verbal and in mail form (even if he doesn't send you a mail). Send a mail first and then update him verbally.

You have to put in extra effort and keep yourself isolated with your manager during the discussion. Don't argue, have a discussion!

Hope things become smooth at your end.

Best wishes,

Manisha

Hi,

As our forum members have been suggesting, there is nothing to worry about. This is common in most organizations. What generally happens is when a fresher enters an organization, they tend to be vibrant and have a lot of fresh ideas, which may make the senior employees feel insecure. That's the reason they may behave indifferently towards you.

Don't worry, my friend, as you may find yourself in the same position in the future. Just let this pass, do your work sincerely, and I'm sure you will be recognized very soon. Just don't let these minor things affect your work.

ALL THE BEST FOR THAT.

Ravi.

I agree with Manisha.

It has been my experience that what appears to be may turn out to be only our own perception. As Manisha says, having a one-on-one with your boss helps him understand that you are trying your level best to learn. It also helps you to understand him better, so that you can change to meet his expectations. This, by the way, is all a part of self-development. If you have actually misread his intentions, then that will also become clear to you.

In the one-on-one, also make it clear to your boss that you are ready to accept anything as long as he takes the time to give you direction or guidance, etc.

There are very high chances that he will respond positively. It has been my experience that open communication always tends to help improve mutual understanding and every good relationship - whether personal or professional - grows out of such open and frequent communication.

It is, in fact, lack of communication and falling back on assumptions that break down relations.

Hope my input helps you solve your current concern.

Regards,

VAMSI

Hi,

It's the same story with all. I suggest trying to complete at least 1 year with the same org as you have already completed 7 months. If things are really very bad, then only think of changing jobs. My example is live you can check with my posting "What does Admin Assistant mean." I am looking after HR & Admin dept, having 2.5 years of experience. Still, I am with the same company and have completed 1 year today itself, just waiting for appraisal and after that, definitely, I will be looking for a change. You don't lose your heart and also don't allow anyone to take you for granted. I suggest you should keep all your communications through mails; then there will be no chance of your boss saying that he/she had not allocated you this work to do. Be practical, wait for some time, and then you will get a very good job with a 100% guarantee.

Very best regards,
Preeti

Hello,

To blame your boss is easy, but it is not easy to act like him. When we start our career with a lot of bookish knowledge, energy, and new ideas in mind, with the spirit to change the world.

My dear, if you are in love and your parents advise you not to meet your boyfriend/girlfriend, then they become your enemies. It is the same case here; if your boss is correcting you and not giving proper recognition, you may not like him. Consider how long other team members have been working with him, your boss's experience, and background. By checking all these things, you will get a better answer.

Amit

Hi there,

I understand how you get frustrated by this situation. I don't have an exact solution to suggest, but please note:

1) that you don't reciprocate back to him the way he does
2) discuss this with the employees

As an HR professional, this is one of the job characteristics you will have to go through. HR plays the role of an advocate, being nice to both the boss and the employees. Fortunately, you are experiencing this in the fresher stage of your career. As you progress into a larger organization, you might come across this situation with more than one person.

It's not easy to demand your boss to send you an email, but you can always send an email to him saying, "As per the discussion we had" or "As per your instruction," immediately after he assigns the work. Maybe next time when he gives his instruction, suggest to him that it might go wrong if you are confident. If your suggestion proves right, this is the first step to impress him.

Hope you will tackle the situation.

Hi,

Guess what, it's a very common problem for all the freshers. There might be other reasons like your boss might be feeling that you are superior to him, and you might overtake him and get the appreciations. I suggest whenever he gives you any task, put a mail asking for any silly suggestion and make him put what he wants onto the mail. You will have proof of saying that you have done as per his requirements. When you are doing something, put a CC to your head (your S2) so that the top management gets to know that you have been working hard on this. Take it as a challenge and go for it! 😃

Regards,
Aruna

Welcome to the practical world.

Being new to the office, all you can do is concentrate only on your work. Don't take it seriously; this is only the start of your career, and you may come across lots of similar and other situations in the future. As you said, good work earns appreciation, so keep the good things going.

For the first two years of any career, it's very vital to open up your eyes and ears and close your mouth.

Regards,
Hassan

Hi friends,

I agree with Manisha and Vamsi that a communication gap needs to be cleared out. This is the only way to solve the problem. Speaking to the boss and resolving the issue can result in a win-win situation for both of you. I believe this is the best approach to restore normalcy. Stop worrying and I hope you will talk to your boss. Good luck.

Don't worry,

Subha

Dear HR Best and CiteHR Friends,

To begin with, let me warn all the readers that I am so-called old. As such, do look at my harangue with that much bias. Of course, this forum has no age bar. Unwelcome I may be, I feel duty-bound to communicate.

Without an exception, all of us commence as freshers. Yeh toh zarur hoga ki, sab is stage se guzre hain. Boss bhi!

It so happens that all of us, after transitioning through years of service, will start having subordinates as part of the team. Nevertheless, even bosses have their bosses.

As freshers become bosses, they shall have freshers and others under them. What kind of bosses (managers/leaders) we become shall depend upon what experience we collect during the transient years. From our academics, each of us undergoes, the traits and type of leaders is well known to us.

It is a foregone conclusion that during this transition, we come across many bosses, some we admire, most we learn from, some we are enamored with, most we look up to. It shall be for ourselves to visualize what kind of manager/leader we shall like to become. Would we like to be labeled as hypocrites?

HR Best, these are your formative years. What becomes of you in years from now shall largely be the consequences of your experiences during the intervening period. Incidentally, the experience is the most lasting learning, and what one gains from it is based on one's own reactions.

Assuming that HR Best's experience is bang on right, I, in his place, shall learn from the limitations as well as strengths of such a boss. Of course, it shall be appropriate to form impressions after taking a balanced view of what HR Best has been through. And you, as everyone else, have the right to have his opinion.

However, under these conditions, invariably the best option would be to DISCUSS the apprehensions with the boss, or whoever is the immediate senior.

Another failsafe option would be to speak to the parents. There is none other who shall have more interest in your benefit; and it is unlikely that there is another who shall see the matter more objectively. Surely, we can trust our parents to do justice to us.

A lot of relevant points have been brought out by many readers above. Some I can recall are Hazaidi, Manisha, Ravi, Sunil, and Vaishali Bareja.

The secret lies in one's ability to identify the positives and focus on the work professionally. One's ability to ignore the irritants and move on is a sign of strength, NOT weakness.

Sorry for being too preachy. Please take the above for what it is worth, and throw the rest in the basket.

Pradeep Bajaj 🌀

Hi,

I am sure that you are also suffering from the same problem I faced in my last organization with my boss. The best solution for this is to start carrying a notepad, write down all the details and tasks he is assigning you, repeat them, and only then leave his cabin. I hope this will help you because it really helped me so many times.