How to Handle a Long-term Employee's Rude Behavior When Management Ignores It?

Hi all, I joined a company 3 months ago as an HR professional. Before my joining, there was no HR department in the company. Now, the issue I am facing is with a girl who has been working here for 7 years. She is handicapped and is responsible for the reception department and arranging calls for employees. The problem is that she is very rude and often behaves badly towards everyone. A few days ago, she also misbehaved with me without any reason. I raised this issue with my boss, but there has been no resolution. Many other employees have also complained about her behavior to my boss, but no action has been taken. Recently, another girl who sits next to her in the reception area shared her experiences with me. She is also scared of the girl and mentioned that she has never spoken about this to anyone, including our boss. A few days ago, the girl with the bad behavior mistreated another employee. When I brought this to my boss's attention, he mentioned that she has been working here for 7 years, is very effective at her job, a hard worker, and quite emotional. However, it seems this girl is two-faced. In front of the boss, she acts differently, portraying herself as innocent, while behaving differently when others are present. What should I do in this situation? Please help me.

The thumb rule of being an HR is that when you highlight a problem, keep a suggested solution ready with you. Simply going and complaining to your boss will not serve the purpose. The fact that she has been associated with the organization for 7 years, and seniors believe that she is a hard worker, plus she has brownie points for having gained their trust, will make things difficult for you. Another fact is that she is a special case being handicapped, which needs to be addressed with proper care. As an HR, this responsibility lies on your shoulders.

Suggested Steps to Address the Situation

I suggest the following steps:

- Talk to your boss, starting by telling him how other employees have come to you with the stress they are facing due to her behavior. If needed, have them talk to your boss directly.
- Explain to your boss how equally important it is for the company to address these problems to ensure that employees can work stress-free and loyally.
- Share your experience with him.
- Suggest that he makes an anonymous call to the reception to verify the situation.
- Politely explain to him how important it is for you, as an HR, to handle such a situation so that everyone benefits positively.
- Inquire if the company can arrange a friendly counseling session for her separately.

Additionally, try to engage in a positive conversation with her to see if the tension between you two can be eased, allowing you to gain her trust as an HR. It would also be beneficial to establish some general code of conduct policies for your company (with approval from your seniors) and circulate them to all employees to see if this leads to any changes.

Good luck!

Dealing with a Difficult Colleague

She is a rookie compared to what you are, a newbie. No amount of complaining can help unless you have a camera placed without her knowledge, capturing her misbehavior. However, this will equally backfire as it will show you as a conniving HR.

Hence, initially observe her with as little interaction as possible. Connect with her when seniors are around. Push the envelope at that point and finish all your tasks you have with her.

I had a bully reporting to me in one of my roles. She had joined the firm long back and felt she was eligible for the role; the employers hired me. The bone of contention literally remains to this date. If given a chance, she wouldn't miss trolling me, if not bullying.

On my part, I kept every communication extremely official with her. Mostly connected over email, even when she sat two desks next to mine. In case she played smart, I used to copy my boss on the thread. She had to mellow down.

However, this wasn't all. She went around provoking everyone against me. Yes, I used to lose my cool, until I learned that when people need me, they will come to me on their terms. And that changed the game. I made sure the processes were flagged off by me. I had enough knowledge; hence, I could stand my ground.

I am sure there are many more ways to deal with bullies at work. Understanding and empathizing with them is important. But that alone doesn't solve the problem. Just as she got seasoned by bullying others for years, I too trained myself on handling such people.

Wish you all the best!

I have a different view here. Perhaps it might provide you with an entirely new perspective to look at the situation and consequently offer you more alternatives to deal with it. Instead of taking your side and agreeing with all your insinuations, let me try to play the Devil's Advocate here.

Understanding the Organization

First of all, let us understand that if you joined a company as an HR recently, where there was no HR or HR system earlier, it is safe to assume that it must be a private organization, likely a very small one. What is the present headcount? Since an HR has been recruited for the first time, it must be around 100.

Now, do you understand that in such a small organization, there must be face-to-face interaction between the staff? Everyone must know each other well, even to the extent of knowing their families. You have been here for three months as an HR. How well do you know your employees? Do you know what problems an employee may face commuting to work every day and then dealing with family responsibilities? A good HR's work is not restricted just to the workplace.

Sensitivity Towards Disabilities

The person for whom you used the term "handicap" has been working there for 7 years. Tell me, does a small private organization exist for charity to the disabled? By the way, it is very derogatory to use the term "handicap" for people with disabilities! Especially for an HR professional who deals with human beings, using a term like "handicap," that too with incorrect spelling; what can anyone infer about your capabilities and sensitivity? Are you not aware of what is the right term to use for persons with disabilities?

Moreover, you need to be more disability-sensitive and learn disability-language. As an HR with a long career ahead, you have a long way to go, and you will meet many "persons with disabilities" in your career in the future! So avoid becoming "emotionally-challenged"!

Performance Feedback

Despite complaining twice to the boss, nothing happened! On the contrary, you were given feedback on her good performance by the boss himself! What does it say about that person with disabilities? It only says that despite her physical disability, she is a star performer! You must be aware of how difficult it is to survive in the private sector if one doesn’t perform even for a few months, and this lady has been winning accolades for 7 long years. So, there is absolutely no doubt about her performance.

Understanding Misbehavior

Now, coming to the misbehavior aspect: What is "misbehavior"? And what is "being rude"? A person may not be soft-spoken or talkative. Another person may perceive this as being rude. A person may not, for whatever reason, greet you back when you say "Good Morning!" Some may construe it as misbehavior! Some may find it very offending—in the same manner, if you call a physically disabled person "handicap"! Just imagine if such persons are reading your post, what impressions they will have about you?

Conclusion and Suggestions

To conclude, I would suggest that you change your perception and attitude about people. Stop feeling threatened and try to accept people as they are. Not everybody can be sweet and nice to you, nor do they need to be. Acknowledge this fact and do not judge them based on what you think are their intentions.

Moreover, a good organization thrives on diversity. It is the hallmark of a thriving, growing company. It's good that your company believes in diversity at the workplace. It's good to know that your company is an equal opportunity employer in the true sense.

Finally, there doesn’t appear to be any instance of "bullying" because bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively dominate others. Two important aspects of bullying are: the person being bullied (victim) is weaker than the bully and the person is bullied to do something, which normally he would not do. In this case, both these vital elements are missing. So it might be construed as rude behavior or misbehavior, but it would need a really fertile imagination to call it a case of bullying, of a senior HR with no physical disabilities by a person with disabilities working as a receptionist.

Hope my words did not offend or hurt you because that was not my intention. If you are looking for a practical solution, then this is what I think might work: Go and talk to the employee concerned. Tell her how offended and hurt you felt due to her curt behavior with you, and how others also told you about a few such instances. In desperation, you went to the boss with complaints. And how the boss gave you feedback on her excellent performance and how happy he is to consider you as an asset for the organization.

Now, this suggested solution will only work if you shed your ego, hatred, and insensitivity towards others; and are able to convey your genuine feelings of appreciation.

Warm regards.

I am not sure of your experience level, but being in HR, I am sure you would know, or at the very least have observed, that the reference points for judging or forming an opinion of people depend on many factors and also keep varying over time. This has nothing to do with HR per se—it's plain human psychology, whether in office or personal situations. Who would you give more weight to, at least initially: a 3-month-old friendship or a 7-year-old friendship?

Here you have this lady who has been working for 7 years, and you joined 3 months ago. That's Factor #1—if you were in the boss's position, whom would you give more weight to?

Next, coming to Factor #2—she's working in the reception. You are the first HR person to join. Who was handling, even if informally, the HR function so far? My bet is that this lady would have been handling at least a major chunk of the running-around activities. Now, if you were this lady, how would you respond or react if someone came and, in your view, took over some of your responsibilities—and consequently the credit—from you, leaving you with minor jobs like reception, etc.? Irrespective of the level, designation, or salary, most people subconsciously aspire for recognition or credit, whether deserved or not.

Factor #3—like other members have pointed out, small or medium companies don't tolerate lack of performance for long. Not that large companies do, but it takes a bit more time to realize this aspect before action is taken due to the processes and hierarchy involved. The very fact that she has been here for 7 years surely points to some effective aspects that the boss likes in her, at least from the company's perspective.

Your usage of words like 'so rude' and 'misbehaving'—it would have been good had you given specific examples. That would have put the issue you raised under clear focus since such generic words are always open to interpretation.

I would suggest never taking judgment calls based on 'hearsay'—what other employees say may be based on their experiences of the individual. But your experience could be different.

Options Open to You

1. Like Nathrao suggested, just interact with her to the point and just on an official level.

2. The next thing you could do is to keep your focus on your responsibilities and show your mettle. This would take time before your boss begins to recognize your worth. But that's the only way to do it. Just don't look for shortcuts—chances are you would fall flat on your face, even though shortcuts can bring you short-term results.

3. In situations or issues where your job depends on this lady's work too, try to put things in writing so that there's no scope for any misunderstandings later—meaning cover your position in such situations.

4. More importantly, learn from this on how to handle different kinds of people—that's what, after all, experience is all about. Being in HR, it is not an option for you; it's a necessity.

After all the above, in case you were looking for suggestions from the members on 'ways to hit or get back at her,' then please ignore this posting. It's meant for your long-term interest.

All the best.

Regards,
TS

The Role of Soft Skills in HR

I think we are deviating from the main discussion by unnecessarily bringing in soft skills. Yes, they are very important as far as an HR executive is concerned, but you should not interpret them as just good English communication. I feel that for an HR person, the local language is more important, though many think that without English, an HR cannot survive. In my understanding, it is not good presentation but good listening capacity that makes an HR person perfect. The former is the function of trainers and consultants and can be gained even from colleges, but the latter is something that should be developed by oneself.

Selection Process and Employee Effectiveness

Only because one has been hired by the Director/Directors after undergoing a series of interviews and group discussions (artificially fabricated events in the selection process), they cannot become an effective employee. There can be selection errors. When the error is pointed out by superiors, you should accept it. You cannot then say, "I was appointed by the Director and therefore, whatever I do will be perfect." When you have a problem, you can address it and seek advice from others. That was what happened here as well.

Approach for HR Professionals

Now, being an HR professional, what you have to do is observe carefully and find a solution. You should consider many aspects about an employee, such as their mental state, personal life, emotions, and so on. After observing all these, you can have a meeting with the employee and convince him/her in a very positive manner. This should be the approach of an HR person.

Regards, Madhu.T.K

Please do not get discouraged by the comments regarding your English. Let people understand that English is just a language and it has nothing to do with your knowledge or ability. We live in a country with many different languages, and not all schools have English as their primary language.

Sharing My Experience

Now, coming to your main query, there are many experienced seniors who have tried to answer your question. I hope that will help you.

I just wanted to add my experience here. I had exactly the same experience in one of my jobs. When I read it, I felt like you were just writing my story. I tried almost all the solutions mentioned here—I approached my bosses with solutions and alternatives, I gifted her on her birthday, and I appreciated her work wherever I could. Nothing helped. It seemed like my bosses had completely turned a blind eye to her behavior. I waited for three long years to see no change. Finally, I quit and took up a better assignment elsewhere. I am still wondering what made them ignore her behavior. I think the only help here can come from your seniors with some efforts from your side.

Regards

Please do not get discouraged by the comments regarding your English. Let people understand that English is just a language and it has nothing to do with your knowledge or ability. We live in a country with many different languages, and not all schools have English as their primary language.

Addressing Your Main Query

There are many experienced seniors who have tried to answer your query. I hope that will help you.

I just wanted to share my experience here; I had exactly the same experience in one of my jobs. When I read it, I felt like you were just writing my story. I tried almost all the solutions mentioned here—I approached my bosses with solutions and alternatives, I gifted her on her birthday, and I appreciated her work wherever I could. Nothing helped. It seemed like my bosses had completely turned a blind eye to her behavior. I waited for three long years to see no change. Finally, I quit and took up a better assignment elsewhere. I am still wondering what made them ignore her behavior. I think the only help here can come from your seniors with some effort from your side.

Regards