Facing Mental Harassment at Work: How Can I Deal with a Difficult Manager?

Now I am working in a software organization. The matter is that I have to face mental harassment by my manager. She is a lady who doesn't bear any type of work pressure and transfers it to anyone. Company name - XXX, Manager name - YYY.

Kindly suggest what I can do. I am waiting for your reply.

Types of Harassment

What type of harassment are you facing? Is it verbal scolding, criticism, or the use of abusive words? Is the harassment personal or work-related? Are other staff members experiencing the same issue, or is it directed only at you?

Steps to Address Harassment

Start by noting down the days, timings, witnesses, and what was said that amounts to harassment. If other people are also being spoken to poorly, consider visiting HR to file a complaint. If your skill set allows, you might try to transfer to another manager. You can also take a proactive approach by documenting everything and presenting it to management, requesting that the manager be counseled or that you be moved to another team.

Important Considerations

Regardless of the provocation, remain calm and do not retaliate, as she could potentially twist the story to portray you negatively. How long have you been with this company, and what is your performance rating?

One basic thing about being an HR professional or any professional: Do not disclose names in public. I understand your frustration, but there is a proper way to express it.

Harassment can be very broad. You can specify the exact nature of the 'harassment' so that we can provide guidance.

@NathRao - She talks excessively. She won't acknowledge appreciation related to my work, but if someone says or asks anything related to work, she will reprimand me. If I ask anything work-related, she says, "You are a senior resource; help is not provided." If I don't ask for help and something goes wrong, she says I should have asked for support. She constantly threatens me with opening a performance improvement program if I don't adhere to her instructions.

I have requested many times to change projects, but she is not releasing me. According to Unisys policies, if anyone works 18 months on the same project, they have the right to change projects. I have completed 2 years on this project and have asked for a change, but she is not facilitating it. Other managers and team leads are very impressed by my work, but she keeps saying I am a waste.

She doesn't appreciate any task I complete, yet I receive appreciation from developers. I am planning to record all her words during discussions. She repeatedly says things like, "I will open the performance improvement program on you," so that I can't be eligible to move to another team.

In our organization, HR listens blindly to whatever the manager says. I am not the only one suffering; there are 21 team members in our team, and many of them are suffering. Female team members sometimes cry in the meeting room.

Kindly suggest what we can do?

@NathRao -- She talks excessively. She won't acknowledge appreciation related to my work, but if someone mentions or asks anything work-related, she will reprimand me. If I ask anything related to work, she says, "You are a senior resource; help is not provided." If I don't ask for help and something goes wrong, she says I should have asked for support. She constantly threatens me with a performance improvement program if I don't follow her instructions. I have requested many times to change the project, but she is not releasing me. According to Unisys policies, if anyone works for 18 months on the same project, they have the right to change projects. I have completed 2 years on this project and have asked for a change, but she is not approving it. Other managers and team leads are impressed by my work, but she keeps saying I am a waste.

She doesn't appreciate any task I complete, but I receive appreciation from developers. I am planning to record all her words during our discussions. She often says, "I will open a performance improvement program on you, so you won't be eligible to move to another team."

In our organization, HR listens blindly to whatever the manager says. I am not the only one suffering like this; there are 21 team members in our team. Many of them are suffering, and some female team members sometimes cry in the meeting room.

Kindly suggest what we can do?

@NEITE75: What can I do? Sometimes I feel like committing suicide by listening to those words.

The manager appears to be very insecure and egoistic. Handling such people requires a lot of tact and forbearance. Despite her yelling and screaming, keep informing her of the progress of the project along with other team members. Ignore if she is sarcastic, but try to imbue in her a feeling of being consulted. If any developer appreciates you, acknowledge the role of your boss as well. It is very stressful to tackle such bosses and still deliver quality and in a timely manner. Try to avoid things that trigger her. This is where you should develop mental toughness. Successfully tackling a difficult and egoistic boss or manager will develop in you confidence and tolerance capacity.

In the meantime, probably your group can talk to HR as it is not only your problem. Formally request a change of project in accordance with company policy. In life, one comes across tough situations; learn to negotiate, navigate your way, and not accept defeat. As a last resort, look for a change of job. For a qualified individual, the present company is not the only option. Competent employees will always receive a job offer. Lastly, my advice would be: don't lose heart. Change things to your favor by taking positive actions.