Balancing Career and Motherhood: Should I Stay in a Frustrating HR Role for My Son's Sake?

I am in a dilemma and very confused... Please help.

I am a qualified lawyer with an MBA in HR and 8 years of work experience. I worked in a large organization and dealt with core HR activities like competency mapping, legal compliance, and performance management. I also need to mention that I am a young mother with a 9-month-old son.

Last year, I resigned from my job as Manager HR and joined a start-up. With a young son, the new job saved me on commute time, had flexible timing, a decent pay package, and a seemingly good job profile with lots of scope for learning.

It is almost a year now, but my job is nothing but an office assistant with the only HR activity being forwarding resumes. I shop for office supplies and deal with vendors. All the HR activity is done by the UK office. I am so unhappy with the job. I have spoken to my manager who said not much can be changed.

My question is, do I hang on to this job as it offers me a good salary and time with my young son, or do I quit due to the frustration?

Young mothers in the HR profession... I need your advice.

Dear Moksha,

I would suggest you stick to this job for one more year until your kid is 2+ years old, as the current job is providing you time to spend with your child. Once your kid is 2+ years old, you can change your job. With your good work experience, you will definitely get a job you deserve.

Regards,
Veena

Dear Moksha,

I too feel it's better for you to hang on until your baby goes to school. As a mother, you have a lot to offer your baby at this tender age, so please rethink your decision of changing jobs (if you had decided to change).

All the best,
Hanuma

Hello,

Veena and Hanuma are right. Your present job has flexible hours, which allows you to spend time with your baby. If you quit, you would certainly be able to give full time to your child, but a gap in time would create a bad impact on your CV.

So, it's better to stick with your present job and once your child starts going to school, search for a better option. With the rich experience you have, you would definitely get a highly skillful job in Core HR.

Regards,
Chaitali

Hi Moksha,

The child is important. Why don't you try finding another job in the same area that is nearer to your home and where you will be satisfied with your job and the work you do?

I choose to believe that you should look out for a new job near your home where you learn something every day instead of only forwarding resumes, etc. But at the same time, your first priority should be your child.

Good luck!
Shraddha 😊

Moksha,

The job pays well. You have quality time with your son. Unfortunately, you have to give up something to gain something. This time it seems to be ambition and job satisfaction. As a woman who has been in HR for 35 years, I have had to make many such decisions, including moving to another country (with my husband) and giving up a Directorship. But in the long run, this is what I have found -

Your son needs you more; you are molding and nurturing another person. A job, even if it is a fantastic job, will not keep you warm when you grow old. And trust me on this, no matter how hard you work or how much you love your job, a time will come when the company no longer needs you... then what? So enjoy motherhood, enjoy the perks a good salary brings, and don't get heartsick over job responsibilities, etc.

I wish you well and I hope you make good choices in your life.

I agree with the majority.

If you cannot get another job with the same advantages your present one offers, keep working at your present job until you either find a better job or until your child is grown up sufficiently that you can give quality time to him post schooling as well as deliver on your assignment with a better company.

I changed from a full-time job to a half-day job in the same company, but when I was asked to revert (as too many others wanted the same privilege), I left that job and got another one on a flexi-time basis, and later started my own consultancy as an independent professional. In this way, I was able to give both my children and my profession equal quality time.

Jeroo

Hi Moksha,

I disagree with the majority!

Since you requested that young mothers in the HR profession should respond and advise, please allow me to present a different point of view:

"I am a qualified lawyer with an MBA in HR and 8 years of work experience. I worked in a large organization and dealt with core HR activities like competency mapping, legal compliance, and performance management.

A qualified lawyer with an MBA in HR and 8 years of experience with exposure in competency mapping, legal compliance, and performance management are your skill sets/strengths.

"Last year, I resigned from my job as Manager HR and joined a startup. With a young son, the new job saved me commute time, offered flexible timing, a decent pay package, and a seemingly good job profile with lots of room for learning.

It has been almost a year now, but my job is nothing but an office assistant with the only HR activity being forwarding resumes. I shop for office supplies and deal with vendors. All the HR activities are done by the UK office. I am so unhappy with the job. I have spoken to my manager who said not much can be changed.

My question is, do I hang on to this job as it offers me a good salary and time with my young son, or do I quit due to the frustration?"

It's sad and rather unfortunate that the present company has failed to utilize your skill sets.

I am not sure about the support systems you have and would like to share an incident somewhat akin to your situation.

Pankaj, a guy I met some years ago, was in exactly a similar situation like yours with an 8-month-old daughter, as his wife had left him and the baby and married someone else. Even he was not happy with a high-paying job and was worried about his daughter as well.

He quit his job and, since he had 6 years of core HR experience, started his own placement cum consultancy firm from his house, which allowed him to look after his daughter and focus on his assignments. Once his daughter grew up to school level, he picked up a corporate job at a decent package. This period did a lot in terms of his professional growth and knowledge.

I would recommend that you can consider a similar option as you have competent and relevant skill sets.

OR

Work with the UK HR department by displaying your competency - try to align or find ways to utilize your skill sets in the present setup, as I believe the state of one's work is as good as one pictures oneself!

Best wishes,

Rajat Joshi

Hi Friend,

If you are a career-focused woman, then you have to wait for a few months until your son is 1 year or 1 1/2 years old. Or if somebody is already taking care of your son, then you can take up another job.

I want to ask, why didn't you opt for maternity leave? I mean, who worked as an HR manager, that's a good position. Or if you want to give time to your son, then you can continue. However, you mentioned that it is not giving you job satisfaction.

In the long run, when you look back, you shouldn't have any regrets. What do you think?

Thanks,
Pallavi.

Rajat,

Your input is a little misleading. Pankaj's case almost parallels mine. I was lucky enough to get the right opportunities and succeed, but if I had not had these opportunities, I would probably have left the full-time job and started my own consultancy from scratch, on a flexitime basis.

You have to make a choice - no matter how challenging your choice is - or isn't - and stick by it.

Jerry

Hi,

I think you received a unanimous opinion from all female HR professionals to spend time with your young son just now. :-)

True. Parenting, in itself, is a full-time activity with a lot of emotional quotient of HR involved. So give your 100% to it.

As for your job, if it allows you free time, why don't you upgrade your qualifications by taking up a suitable HR-related IT diploma or learn a foreign language? It would keep you mentally occupied, and you would enjoy the learning process. By the time your son is old enough, you would have additional qualifications in your kitty, which could get you better opportunities in bigger firms. Later on, you may not find time or inclination to take up further studies.

Lastly, the secret of happiness in life is to be content with the circumstances we are in and make the most of it. Hope you find happiness in the choice you make.

All the best,
Jyothi

Dear Moksha,

I am an HR professional with a 9-month-old son. I believe this is the time when your son needs you the most in his life. So give him the top priority. Stick to the same job for a while, until your son is 1.5 years or so, later you can advance in your career. For a woman, motherhood is the most special phase in her life; there are many people who are longing for the same. So enjoy this time with your baby. I am sure his one smile will definitely wipe away all your confusions and worries regarding your career. Alternatively, you can ask your parents or in-laws to come down and take care of the child. In that case, you will have more time for your career as well.

Regards,
Keerthi

Dear Veena, Hanuma, Chaitali, Shraddha, PVQ, Jeroo, Rajat, Pallavi, Jerri, Joyti, and Keerthi.

Thank you all so much for taking the time and helping me in my predicament . Your replies have made a big difference to me

Now that I have got my priorities right I fell so much better in my job and well as my personal life.

I have decided that for now my son is my first priority ( It was an easy decision with Keethi's sentence “I am sure his one smile will definitely wipe away all your confusions and worries regarding career”)

I have decided to hang on to my present organisation. Work fewer hours ( Have permission to work 6 hours) while keeping abreast with the latest happening in Hr through the citeHR site and may be as Jyothi suggested upgrade my qualifications. When i son starts school I intend start something on my own or look out for a better job.

Any yes! I have realised that the secret of happiness in life is to be content with the circumstances we are in and make the most of it.

Thank you all once again