After seeing the good and bad of the other side (the old employee), let us see what is there on your side since you are the key person who has to deal with the situation, and it is necessary that you equip yourself with the required skills to do it. There is an old saying that "who conquers himself can conquer the world." In other words, what it means is he/she who controls himself can control others. Thus, self-management is the key when it comes to managing difficult people because they play upon your emotions and cause hurt to you. In many cases, we do not deal with our charged emotions and hurt in the manner it should be dealt with and instead allow ourselves to be swept by them and tend to react to them. This may make us go in search of solutions that may not really answer our problems.
How to Deal with One's Emotions and Hurt Properly?
This starts with understanding others' feelings and acceptance that we can neither change nor control certain facts in life.
1) In the instant case, the facts over which we have no control are:
a) The modern workplace is a mixed workplace of the old generation, Generation X, and Generation Y, and thus this kind of generational conflict may be a feature of them. Even if you switch to a new job, there is no guarantee that it does not have an old senior employee to be dealt with again.
b) If you replace him, will there be a guarantee that the new hire will be better than the old one? Sometimes I came across people saying after replacements that "a known devil is better than an unknown angel." What if the new hire, though very good-mannered, is not as technically skilled as the old one? In the instant case, at least you know what he is good at.
Self-Management and Communication
c) Now coming to self-management, I observe certain statements made by you in your reply post to learned member Atul Sharma of Learning Novo, which are:
"In my company, for every rule or every harsh email, employees are blaming HR. It seems they have personal grudges against me. I don't like their behavior. It's my work, obviously, I've to do this."
Yes, I appreciate that you firmly believe that it is your job to frame rules and policies. A latecomer does not like to be told to come on time. You cannot frame a rule seeking his permission to please him. Therefore, as HR, please accept that you cannot or need not please everyone, and at the same time, not all will be scoffing at you. There will be some disciplined individuals who admire your initiatives. Even Buddha faced resistance for his philosophy, but he pursued what he believed. When you are sure that rules are meant for the interests of the organization, you need not pay any attention to others' comments. In fact, it is an indication that your policies are having the desired effect on the employees. Therefore, smile and do not get perturbed by the criticism of some or the few. Accept that bouquets and brickbats are part of the professional life of HR, and every HR professional goes through it. Accept that it is normal.
However, one suggestion here: as HR, keep yourself open to suggestions, though it is not mandatory to follow every suggestion given. You should also be able to sell your HR initiatives to your internal customers, who are the employees and departmental heads. Therefore, listen to them. It has two advantages: i) they feel happy that their voice is heard and that you are not arbitrary, and ii) if the suggestions have merit, you can adopt them in the rules so that they will have wider acceptance and reduce opposition.
Therefore, check your emails and see whether they are really couched in harsh language. Sometimes, in our eagerness to emphasize the importance of compliance with rules/procedures, we may unknowingly use strong language, though in good faith. What an official communication needs is assertive language, not aggressive language, which may be offensive to others. You can check the emails to see whether the communications require any modifications. If so, do not hesitate to modify. This will have a positive effect on the employees and win them over to your side.
Handling the Old Employee
Another statement about the old employee is:
"Not good in professional communication: Arrange some one-on-one coaching for him: I mentioned that he doesn't want to listen to any negative or shortcomings about him. According to him, he is the best, and the company cannot run without him."
Probably a fresher may accept a remark of yours about his professional communication and be willing to accept suggestions for improvement, but not a veteran like the old employee. So you should not repeat it. I do not envisage any prospect of coaching or training in communication bringing any change in his communication, nor will he be cooperative. At the same time, I visualize that it is not easy to replace him since he is the favorite of the director, which such old employees usually are. Secondly, there is a risk of the director getting annoyed if the new hire turns out to be bad from a work point of view. Therefore, you need to take a practical view, which can be:
1) Since he is sound technically and handles projects alone well, you can allot him to such projects after taking your directors into confidence. This will also minimize his interaction with others.
2) Be professional. These are challenges for HR in modern workplaces. Managing generational diversity is a modern HR skill. Therefore, view it as a skill development opportunity, but do not take anything to heart or head since everything happens in the sphere of the office, not in your personal domain.
Finally, I conclude with a wonderful solo conversation that I read somewhere, which bestows on us immense power to deal with hardships in life:
"I asked for strength, but God gave me difficulties to make me strong.
I asked for wisdom, but God gave me problems to solve.
I asked for courage, but God gave me risks to overcome.
Thus, I have not received what I wanted, but I received all I needed."
In all probability, this workplace will be a training ground for you to hone your skills in managing workplace diversity and interpersonal relations.
Hope this helps. All the best.
Regards,
B.Saikumar
In-House HR & IR Advisor