How Can I Politely Ask a Senior Colleague to Stop Smoking During Lunch?

Dear Members, Please help me solve a problem. During office lunch, a senior person in my company usually sits aside and starts smoking. How can I gently tell him to avoid smoking while sitting with me? Please advise.

Thank you.

When your senior starts smoking, approach him and engage in casual conversation. Gradually steer the conversation towards expressing your concern politely, advising him that it is better not to smoke in public, and informing him that people generally do not appreciate it. If he does not heed your advice and continues his behavior, demonstrate your disapproval through your demeanor. Exit the room, show your displeasure through facial expressions, coughing, or other non-verbal cues.

Thank you.

Here's what I have seen—smokers tend to cast out the people who come between them and their smoke. It has been depicted very well in many movies and television series where a person retaliating suddenly becomes an outcast for the smoker.

Since this is a scenario where you don't really want to be an outcast, but you still want the message to be sent across, the way this can be done will depend on your gender. However, in both cases, "humiliation" should not be your weapon of choice.

If You Are a Woman

Cough gently to make it known that you are uncomfortable. When the smoker decides to notice your plight and stubs out his cigarette, praise him for being chivalrous by smiling and saying "Thank you." Be genuinely impressed that the smoker thought of you before his/her smoke.

If You Are a Man

Direct the conversation towards health and fitness, talk about stamina, etc. Do not make it obvious that you are doing it to point out the smoker.

Just my two cents—try out as many ideas as you can without turning hostile.

I am an ex-smoker, and I can tell you with absolute certainty that there is no way for a non-smoker to tell a person not to smoke without them getting offended or embarrassed. They will probably stop smoking around you but will also always remember. A better bet would be to make some jokes about smokers; we tend to be pretty easygoing with jokes about it. However, it probably won't make them stop smoking.

Designating No-Smoking Areas

The best way would be to either have your HR designate the canteen area as a No-Smoking Area (which by law it should be), and if it is official, you can't be blamed for it. OR move your seat if you don't want to anger the senior. If you don't care about being on his good side, then tell him to his face. Please note that no matter what, do not complain about him behind his back to colleagues; it is the worst thing you could possibly do.

Company Smoking Policy

Company policies prohibit smoking inside offices or cabins. For smokers, a separate location is identified, and they go there for a puff. In air-conditioned offices, smoking spoils the atmosphere and environment for co-workers. I am a regular smoker but go out of the office for smoking.

Thank you!

Let me begin by saying that a general rule smokers are supposed to follow during office hours and official meetings is to ask permission for smoking, especially when in the company of a mixed group, i.e., men and women. (There are different rules about whom to ask permission while addressing a group of people, but this is not the topic at hand.)

While I don't agree with Gokul's views that it is not possible to ask a smoker to smoke somewhere else without offending him/her, as they smoke for their own gratification and need not necessarily subject others to the puffs of smoke exhaled by them, thereby offending and harming them; I agree with him on the point that the HR should be approached and the dining area should be made NON-SMOKING.

What you could do in such a case is approach HR and present a general case on how some people are smoking in the dining room (without fussing about who does it and making the issue a personal one) during lunch hours and how it is making you a passive smoker. You can also enlist the help of your peers and seniors who are also facing the same problem.

Another option, while a little drastic, is to change your eating timing. If you have some company, then change your lunch timing so that it doesn't clash with this smoker's lunchtime. If asked, you can politely state the truth. Again, I don't know the dynamic that you and your team and this senior person share, so it has to be your call.

In most companies, there are different smoking zones where smokers can enjoy a puff. Moreover, as I believe, most smokers ARE considerate of others' feelings and don't mind having to go to a separate place to smoke. Hence, find out these details in your company and take the next course of action.

Two Ideas to Address Smoking in the Workplace

1. Cigarette smoking is injurious to health, not only to the smoker but to others too. This is a government's official slogan. Quietly approach your HR or ADMIN boss with a few of your friends and request him to make a separate area for smokers. He will certainly listen. To implement this suggestion, no expenses are involved. A simple typed banner 'SMOKING AREA' can be put at respective places, and your problem is solved. You may even get a suggestion award if such a policy exists in your company.

2. Talk to your Senior: "Sir, I like your company very much when we sit together and exchange our thoughts and ideas. On many occasions, your suggestions and advice have helped me a lot, not only in office matters but also in my personal life.

But today, Sir, I am really nervous to talk to you about some personal issues. Believe me, you have a very good style of smoking. I really like it. Somehow I like this tobacco smell also. For the past many days, we have sat together for a few minutes, relaxed, and your cigar has also become our regular friend. I don't mind at all.

But, Sir, for the past week, I have been experiencing some kind of breathing problem, especially at night, and my sleep is much disturbed. Yesterday, I happened to visit my doctor, to whom I mentioned my sleepless nights due to breathing and coughing problems.

On checking my eyes and throat, he asked me whether I am a smoker or tobacco eater. I was shocked by his question, as in my life I have never touched these things. When my reply to him was negative, he asked if any of my family members or close friends are smokers. Hurriedly, I answered negatively. Then he told me to think once again, and my answer remained unchanged. Then he gave me a long list of lab tests to be done, and only then will he decide the further course of treatment.

On my return home, suddenly I remembered you, Sir. Yes, every day we sit together for a while, and your cigar also accompanies us... make a good story ahead..."

Regards

Enforcing a No Smoking Policy

To enforce a no smoking policy, you can install "NO SMOKING" signboards in various areas such as the canteen, conference hall, board room, plant area, and all other designated places. If someone continues to smoke in these areas, take a photo of the individual and post it on the notice board along with a reminder to adhere to the no smoking policy.

Can you put up a sign saying, "Smoking is injurious to health, not only to you but also to me. You may not care about your health, but I do care about mine. So, please..."

As commented by our fellow members, you should initiate your actions with great care, as smokers may get offended unless the message is conveyed in a respectful manner. As Sid mentioned, you could discreetly cough and express your discomfort. Another approach that has proven effective for me is to take out a piece of gum and offer one to the person who is smoking, all while maintaining a friendly SMILE 

Thank you.

Please ask the HR person to implement a no-smoking policy and enforce penalties for non-adherence to achieve positive results.

Regards,
Pooja
Meara Human Consulting

All the Cite HR folks provided good insights and offered nice solutions. If you are still looking for an alternative approach, consider indicating your discomfort with smoking by gestures like subtly closing your nose or coughing. This should communicate to him that you are not at ease with that activity. A considerate person would take notice and make an effort to refrain from smoking in your presence. This could potentially lead to finding a way to avoid being around smoking altogether.

Just my perspective, my friend...

Regards,
Chandrasekhar T