How Can HR Balance Trust Between a Friendly Team and a Boss Who Wants to Know Everything?

I am the HR Manager in an IT startup with a total of 6 employees. We are all in the age group of 23-26 years and are more like friends than just colleagues. We have a laid-back boss and are happy to work for him. However, there are typical minor boss-subordinate issues among us that we tend to discuss amongst ourselves (note that these are discussions only, no negative talk). As the HR person, my colleagues look up to me to help solve these issues.

Unfortunately, our boss expects me to report everything that is shared with me, almost like a spy, so that necessary actions can be taken, and he can be fully informed about his team. I find myself in a dilemma these days as I need to strike a balance between the employees and my boss. If I act as "the spy," my colleagues may lose trust in me and stop confiding in me altogether, leaving me with no information to share with my boss.

Navigating the Boss-Subordinate Relationship

How can I navigate this challenging situation and ensure a balanced dynamic in this complex boss-subordinate relationship?

It is indeed a tight situation. Being in HR is like walking on a tightrope in the air. With just one mistake, we can tumble due to off-balance.

Suggestions for Balancing HR Responsibilities

I would like to suggest that since you and your colleagues are discussing different issues, you might as well probe these discussions further. This can help determine what actions need to be taken to solve them.

At the same time, you can tell your boss that lunchtime is just a fun time. However, if there is anything that raises an alarm, you should communicate it to him.

It is expected of HR to communicate issues at the staff level to management so that they can take action to curb them and promote a positive working culture. However, this is often misused more than it is used.

You can inform your boss that you all are discussing how some things can be handled differently and are still brainstorming better ideas to implement.

This will assure your employer that all of you are engaged and motivated to work.

Hope this helps you.

Anjita has given good advice. I would only add that when you are having these discussions, it might be a good idea if the discussion is concluded by you suggesting that you will bring up the discussion with the boss. This way, the team will not lose your trust.

However, to maintain your HR authority, you must also give the feedback after you have discussed with the boss. Also, occasionally you should ask the boss to take part in these discussions, even if they are informal. This will show the team that you have a caring boss.

You will find that the vicious circle is now balanced. Hope the above helps.

Regards,
Harsh

Ankita and Harsh have given good suggestions. However, I think there are a few aspects of the HR profession that you may need to recap or keep in mind.

Balancing the Role of HR

Coming to your remark "like I am a spy or something in the name of HR"—essentially, it depends on how YOU carry on this task whether you get branded as a "spy" OR a "feedback channel" between the two levels [boss and employees]. Whether you like/agree with it or not, one of the roles of HR essentially involves this aspect—so the sooner you get used to it and master the art, the better for you. Like Ankita said, "often this is misused more than used." It's very easy, but difficult to realize, to cross the line between use and abuse of this aspect of HR.

Engaging the Boss in Discussions

I think this is where the suggestion of Harsh ["occasionally you should ask the boss to take part in these discussions"] will help you to preempt any scope for such situations to occur. When you give your feedback to your boss, if you have any cause to doubt your opinion/conclusion about any issue discussed, end with a rider that "THIS IS AS PER MY UNDERSTANDING and I COULD BE WRONG TOO" and that you would like periodic informal participation by him too to confirm/correct your views of what's being discussed by the employees.

Maintaining Confidentiality

Another aspect is this: resist the temptation of revealing to your boss any personal matters being discussed during lunchtimes—like what an employee had for breakfast, etc. This may look quite innocuous, but sometimes this could happen due to a casual slip-of-tongue [depending on your mental frame of mind at that instance], and could lead to a rise in expectations from the boss's end.

All the Best.

Regards,
TS

Thank you! 

The points that you all have mentioned are all correct in their own ways. I guess I should just mention what I liked the most out of your suggestions:

1. If at all there is anything that raises an alarm, you should be speaking it out to him.
2. Open communications are often misused more than used.
3. Maintaining the HR authority (good that you reminded me of this).
4. Essentially, it depends on how YOU carry on this task whether you get branded as a 'spy' OR a 'feedback channel' between the two levels.

I am in the middle of conducting employee skip-level meetings and hence have been facing these issues. (Apparently, the previous HR resigned because she got sandwiched and faced the wrath of both the employees and the boss). This shows that I need to be careful here and handle the meetings tactfully, making the most sensitive questions sound casual (thus getting honest answers to them) and also let the boss know (that he's the boss, ultimately ).