Navigating a Positive Relationship with Your Female HR Manager: Tips for Success

How to Deal with a Lady HR Boss Perfectly

To effectively navigate interactions with a female HR manager, it is essential to approach the relationship with professionalism and respect. Here are some tips to help you handle the situation smoothly:

1. Communicate openly and honestly: Establish clear communication channels with your HR boss and ensure transparency in your interactions.

2. Show respect: Treat your HR boss with the same level of respect and courtesy that you would offer any other senior colleague.

3. Be proactive: Take initiative in addressing any HR-related issues or concerns, and demonstrate your willingness to work collaboratively.

4. Seek feedback: Request feedback from your HR boss on your performance and areas for improvement, showing your commitment to growth.

5. Follow company policies: Familiarize yourself with the HR policies and procedures in place within your organization, and adhere to them consistently.

By following these tips, you can effectively manage your interactions with your Lady HR Boss and foster a positive working relationship.

If you have been reporting to leaders at work, you must have already identified the leadership models and how to respond to them. How is this situation different from what you have seen so far? If you are looking for specific input in dealing with a reporting manager, please share the incident that required you to brainstorm. Looking forward to hearing from you.

This Lady HR Boss is well-qualified from technical as well as top B-schools. Brilliant in academics. When it comes to dealing with critical situations, especially with employees, the HR person becomes 'bali ka bakra' and she enjoys it a lot at that time. However, she recommends promotions, increments, etc., as per norms and makes the HR person happy, who is not from top B-schools but from a reputed institute with specialization in HR and having baseline experiences in dealing with employees, IR issues, Unions, grievances, etc.

One extreme moment was when an HR person submitted his resignation due to frustration, but she didn't accept it and asked for a long association with the organization. It is, of course, a very good and renowned organization with more than 2000 employees. The HR person has been working with this Lady Boss for the last 7 years. Still waiting for a solution as to why he becomes 'bali ka bakra' every time. Is it her tactic to stay relevant in the job? Or is there anything else?

Fortunately, women have marvelously acquired certain positions in society as well as in many companies. Misfortune arises when we encounter such "MEAN MENTALITY" bosses. It doesn't matter what education she has or which B-School she attended; it's always a matter of capably dealing with juniors.

These kinds of lady bosses will never change, and employees have not seen or heard of any changes. Employees will have to decide exactly how much they are willing to take. Even in your case, if you decide to see where the line of delineation is, the very moment the "poltergeist" in her overpowers the situation, you should be prepared for the worst-case scenarios.

No, you do not want to take any chances and stand still; the praise and pride of that lady should be controlled as any slight hunch may risk the chances of getting FIRED or getting involved in DIRTY & BAD OFFICE POLITICS, [She would enjoy as such].

On the contrary, the above are unembellished reasons as to why the HR is a "STOOGE" here in this case. At an outset to your point, all you need to do is work your wits safely and do not get engaged in any out-of-the-blue business. {If you think you've got another job handy, have it played out of harm's way and prevent yourself from any sham}.

First, to answer your question on how to deal with a lady boss: the answer is simple, treat her the same as you would a gentleman boss. We are only hearing one side of the perspective, so passing judgment would be unfair. In a reasonable organization, senior management would recognize tactics of shifting blame to juniors. Even if juniors are perceived as at fault by senior management, it reflects poorly on the senior leadership. Additionally, a lady boss cannot shield herself by blaming juniors for her mistakes. Therefore, the best approach is to focus on doing your work well, and you will likely remain unscathed in the long run.

Kind regards

Dear ABC, People have made some excellent comments. As is my habit, I have read your comments and need to extract some points to clarify the situation. Please correct me if I am wrong.

You work for an organization (not sure in which capacity) that has 2,000 workers.

HR Boss Profile

The HR boss is a female who is well-qualified, with an MBA from a reputed institute. She is 40 years old and yet single. You think she has no family life.

It is not clear whether you are the HR person or if it is someone else. From your statement "Bali ka Bakra," it appears that the HR person is male and obliges the female boss whenever she allots him work. He has 7 years of work experience with this boss, and she has promoted him even though he has qualified only from a reputable but not a top institute.

When he wanted to resign from his job in frustration once, she dissuaded him from doing so, and he withdrew the application.

Personal Observations

You talk to that "Boss" about your family life, etc., and you have found her to be "egotistical" on Mondays. So, now you have stopped talking to her about these matters. I did not understand what you meant by this statement.

General Statements

Now, let me make a few general statements. A colleague of mine was an unmarried woman. But, she was a very committed family person. She looked after her aged parents. The thing you say about a single lady will equally apply to a single man. For example, where my father worked, a researcher asked "Mr. K, why do you rush home at 5 pm on the dot? Look at me, I do research till 8 pm and then go home." But after a couple of years, my father noticed that the researcher was dashing home at 5 or even earlier. My father asked him why? He said that he had a fiancée, and she wanted to go out walking, etc. So, you are right; family commitments make us do things which others may not.

Finally, a question, are you the "Bali ka Bakra" in question that needs a solution?

Regards.

I would like to tell you one thing; you are agreeing that she is well-qualified from a reputed institution. As a senior staff member, she may think that it will not be good for her to interfere in day-to-day activities. The 2000 workforce can understand with whose permission the "bali ka bakra" has taken the initiation. Sometimes the senior management intentionally asks the subordinates to perform certain things to observe the results and to analyze the seriousness of the initiation. They won't leave you on the road if you follow their instructions and implement them. Even if you did something wrong while performing your day-to-day activities, the top management has to face the tune of the 2000 workforce.

My sincere advice to you is not to spoil your life with this type of inhibition. Boss is the boss, and they are always right. The top management always watches the activities and knows the capability of their staff. One must agree that she has the stuff if she is working as the head of the department for more than seven years. It is not good to discriminate against anyone by gender or of any type. Try to adjust with her or submit paper because if you are angry with your boss or your boss gets angry with you, you will have to face the tune.

Regards

Dear Vijayan,

Thank you for pointing out the comment you disagree with and providing your perspective. However, I would like to clarify that I have not stated anywhere that such behavior is acceptable. In fact, I have requested further explanation on what "egoistical" entails and how it was displayed.

Best regards,

In all your posts, I don't think you have managed to narrate your actual grievance!

Your Initial Question: "How to Deal with a Lady HR Boss?"

Firstly, it seems gender-biased, but you are saying it is not! Then you mention she is highly qualified, well acknowledged in the firm, handling the responsibilities well, but may have an egotistic/stubborn approach and might have crucified some of her employees to cope with some HR issues.

As per my understanding, you do not approve of this behavior from your boss in any way. However, your grievance slightly differs, considering her being a lady. You are ready to give some allowances for the fact that she may have had to act more strictly, being in a male-dominated world.

Then tell me...

In day-to-day interactions, would you have reacted differently to your boss if your boss was a gentleman with the same ego, attitude, and background?

In day-to-day interactions with your employees, as an HR representative, do you behave differently towards lady/gentleman employees?

Please retrospect your quotes in earlier posts and answer these questions. If the answer to both questions is "No," then we can proceed ahead!

A person's general nature, their own life issues, their ambitions, and their ability to use politics at work CANNOT be changed by HR. That's not the function of HR.

You may have known or heard the issues in her life, but please accept that, as HR, you cannot solve them. It's a different thing if you are friends and want to help, go ahead, but then you wouldn't have faced the original question.

If her approach is not hampering the department or organization, then you have to accept her as is and learn the real reasons behind some of the decisions made. If her approach is really hampering the department, then you can surely report to higher management, but you have to be very sure (with statistics) about that!

Best Way to Deal with Such Persons:

1. Be clear in all communications. Don't assume anything. Don't keep anything verbal or ambiguous.

2. Keep the communication both ways. Don't just listen; also react.

3. Be professional and keep the interactions to a minimum as required.

4. Share the same goal for organizational benefit when working together.

5. If you still cannot take it, work towards moving the boss out of the organization or equation, or moving yourself out of the organization (just kidding... :-))

Best Regards,

Amod.

From your brief narration of the boss's achievements, behavior, and successful handling of her job for so long, there appears to be a doubt about your parochial attitude or discomfort in working with a lady boss rather than the other way around. Please introspect and observe her dealings with others and their opinions of her.

I have a suggestion - if you are close to this bali-ka-bhakra person, ask him to have a one-on-one talk with her or seek help from one of the seniors to understand, develop rapport, and meet expectations. Please avoid mudslinging in such forums - some colleagues may be reading this and watching you!!!

Regards.

Acknowledging the Contributions of Women in Your Life

I have gone through many of the comments, but I hold a different opinion on the same topic since it seems to be a very sensitive issue we are discussing. Gentlemen, when you were born, your mother and grandmother may have been the ones who cared for you. In your journey towards success, please try to acknowledge their contributions and the ways in which they have supported you. During your school days, you may recall the influence of your female school teachers and principals who have also played a role in shaping you to reach this level. Similarly, do not forget the impact of your aunt, paternal aunt, maternal aunt, and other women who have contributed to where you stand today.

Additionally, recognize the role your wife has played in your life. If she is now your boss, how you choose to handle your relationship with her will teach you the appropriate way to deal with her. I believe that approaching her with respect rather than attitude will help resolve any issues you may face. I hope you find this perspective valuable and that it sheds light on your path to achieving all your goals and objectives.

Regards,
S.P. Bhardwaj

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