Feeling Stuck After Anonymous Email to HR: Should I Face the Consequences or Wait It Out?

Hi Friends, I am working in an MNC for only 5 months. I made a big mistake by sending an email to the HR Manager regarding improvements needed in our company. One of my big mistakes is that I sent it while hiding my identity, which I think the boss recognized by any means. Now, that email has been forwarded to the main branch.

He replied to me and asked me to meet him in the cabin, but I didn't go (as per the email). I am not very sure about my revelation to him, but his actions speak. I actually emailed him due to daily harassment and insults in the office and my team leader's silence on the matter.

What should I do? Should I meet him or keep waiting for my removal?

Well, you have made a mistake, and it is not just that you sent an email to your HR Manager regarding your bad experience and conditions at work (anonymously) with whatever you are going through, but also for disobeying your boss's wish to meet you.

You are responsible and working under him, and it is your duty to obey his order, but you didn't. I understand that you were scared and worried about his questions and reaction, but as you mentioned in your query, you are still seeing the reaction, so you should not have avoided this meeting. Now, you do not know whether your boss received that email and wanted to speak about it or if there was something else.

“When you realize you've made a mistake, make amends immediately. It is easier to eat crow while it is still warm.” ~Dan Heist

Could you share the reactions of your boss that you are talking about, so that we can understand your situation better?

And, if the email contained facts and the real situation at work, you should not have been scared to face your HR Manager and share your concerns directly. HR people are not there just to do their work, make policies, and maintain the system, but they are also responsible for employee welfare and handling these kinds of situations that you might have forgotten or never realized, I would say.

“A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong; therefore, I would suggest you speak with your boss first, answer his questions, and also share your experiences at work completely and honestly with your HR Manager.

Without getting facts about your situation and the reactions/actions taken by your boss/HR Manager, we won't be able to say more. Therefore, please share more in this regard.

Handling Workplace Harassment

HR is supposed to take care of this kind of harassment in the office if it occurred. So please don't feel bad for the email sent to the HR Manager. However, you could have avoided anonymity and addressed it directly. Anyway, now you have an opportunity to meet the HR Manager.

My suggestion is to request an appointment and meet with the HR Manager. Keep cool, ventilate all your difficulties to HR, and try to be less personal in terms of allegations. Instead, pinpoint how such issues are affecting your work, company business, etc.

Regards

Thanks, Anil sir. I am elaborating a little.

I am a fresher process associate in finance. The problem started when our main manager of finance appreciated me during a telephonic conference because of a file/report I prepared for my own use. Since then, my immediate boss has been keeping a close eye on me and has prohibited me from maintaining any files, folders, notes, etc. He is asking me to work like him (in the old-fashioned way).

If I make a slight mistake, he criticizes me loudly in front of everyone. He and my team leader are close to each other, so saying anything seems baseless. I tried to speak up but got hurt... Lol!

By the way, I started ignoring him and just doing the work, which again backfired. My team leader complained to the HR Manager, saying I am rude and acting like a senior.

My HR Manager is good and frank in nature, but my TL and HR have a good relationship, so going and reporting seemed like hitting my own leg.

Our company maintains a register where names are written based on seniority. One day, with a new email ID, I sent an email that did not reveal my name. I suggested keeping the attendance sheet according to performance and asked to provide a suggestion box, etc.

The next day, I got a reply. He appreciated my thought and asked to meet him to discuss further.

I haven't replied... till now! After four days, a person from the HR department came and said we have two more vacancies and asked me to refer my friends if I know some, whereas our department needs no more, particularly in my process.

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I thought of meeting him, but the fear of losing my job stops me. Also, he may ask why I am interfering in HR work, etc.

This world is not as it looks... It's not flat!

So, what would you suggest for a student who has very few career opportunities?

Focus on Your Career and Competencies

First, you need to strongly focus on your job/career and learn to develop your competencies.

Overcoming Phobias and Building Confidence

Secondly, you need to eliminate any phobia that is making you weak, as this will undermine your self-confidence.

Embrace Challenges and Maintain Positivity

Don't run away or hide yourself. Learn to accept challenges and maintain a positive attitude all the time.

Approach HR with a Positive Attitude

If you are living an ethical lifestyle (honest, bold, sincere, loyal), then please approach your HR with a positive attitude.

Avoid Negative Self-Talk

Please turn off the "auto-pilot mode" of self-talk, which can be destructive. Avoid thinking negatively.

Balance Confidence and Overconfidence

Please don't try to be overconfident.

Navigating Workplace Relationships

You will inevitably encounter different kinds of people in your life, and only a few will support your endeavors if you are perfect in whatever you do. Do not get swayed by others' views/suggestions without evaluating them.

Transforming Enemies into Allies

Learn to work with your enemies and transform them into your friends by maintaining a polite and down-to-earth attitude (control your anger and refrain from reacting impulsively to opponents).

Encouraging Open Communication in Organizations

If I were your HR manager or the owner of the company, I would warmly welcome your suggestions, complaints, and views regarding the organization's scenario, followed by a one-to-one discussion. I firmly believe that organizations should operate by practicing an unbiased culture, which fosters the development of each individual's competencies. Competition should be internal rather than among colleagues. We should recognize others' strengths and work on improving our weaknesses to enhance our own abilities.

Understanding Employee Motivations

Based on my experience, only a few employees genuinely wish well for the organization, as they desire the company to focus on strategies that drive aggressive growth. Conversely, there are employees with a cunning attitude (such as team leaders) who are solely motivated by monetary gain and seek to flatter their bosses to create a favorable impression, claiming to be "the good ones." Such employees pose a challenge to those working for the organization (system) rather than for personal gain.

A Case Study for HR Professionals

This serves as an excellent case study for HR professionals. Every HR professional should be open to receiving feedback and suggestions from employees, ensuring that the organization cultivates an environment that encourages unbiased decision-making, disciplined work culture, effective team-building strategies, and is committed to eliminating employees who oppose such organizational development strategies.

Please keep us informed of the outcome of your situation, as I am eager to learn about your HR manager's behavior and final decision in addressing your concerns.

With profound regards,

This is a condition faced by most new professionals. To be very frank, I also faced the same thing at the start of my career. I took my senior into confidence and showed him how we can make the work easier using new ideas and technology! As a new professional, candidates always try to expose their knowledge in the work area and strive to gain more and more experience.

It was a good experience for me and for my senior, which is why he accepted my ideas, and we worked together for almost 2 years. He is still close to my heart.

I suggest that you do the same, try to convince your senior, and before implementing anything new, seek your senior's opinion. It will make your senior happy that you consulted them first. If you do not seek advice, they might think you are trying to outdo them, leading to potential conflicts. However, by consulting them first, they are likely to help and support your new ideas based on my personal experience.

If the situation does not improve, I recommend speaking to higher-ups about it and considering a new and better job opportunity. However, I want to clarify that a new job does not always mean a better work environment than the previous one.

The choice is now yours.

Best of Luck.

Facing the Consequences of Whistleblowing

Either you should be bold and face the consequences, or you should not have risked sending the email at all! You should have thought of the consequences beforehand. Such risks happen to whistleblowers in this world. If you are honest and straightforward in your dealings, there will be a little amount of backlash, and you should have the mental (sometimes even physical!) strength to brave the consequences.

If you feel that either way you may earn displeasure or even lose the job, go and face it. Tell him the facts, but of course in a nice way, without hurting anybody's pride. Human beings are different, and they react differently to different people and that too in different situations. So you can expect some pleasant surprises also.

If you are talented and capable of finding another job on your own, there is no harm in taking an element of risk! Go ahead without worrying about the results.

I completely agree with Mr. Khadir and Mr. Arya. First, I would like to remind you of the saying, "The boss is always right," which is not 100% true but matters a lot for all of us, and you also have to be with it first.

Understanding Your Relationship with Your Boss

The very first thing you must understand is that you have to work with your boss, to whom you are directly responsible. To gain his confidence and trust and establish a good relationship should be your basic and first priorities. Making mistakes, like avoiding his call for a meeting, are what's bothering you here.

Whenever one feels or finds that the boss wants his assistant/junior to work in his own and old style, however, the same is required to be changed, which is a time demand too, or needs to be modernized, but they don't likely accept the changes. What a junior/assistant needs to do is accept this old style of the boss without objection and be very careful and conscious with it. By doing this, the junior/assistant can gain the trust and confidence of his/her boss. This confidence, trust, and good relationship help introduce new ideas to the boss and easily express why changes are mandatory or required with due respect to modernization. What you did is all self-explanatory.

Working Under Supervision

Second, you must not feel like the boss is keeping his eyes on your every single activity at work for whatever reason. Do your work sincerely and don't give any complaints with your work. The boss is always a boss and has every right to do so, but what you have to do is accept this and do your work. Try not to make mistakes.

Maintaining Good Relationships with Teammates

Third, you need to maintain a good relationship with your teammates. If they are saying that you are rude and act like a senior to them or treat them likewise, which evidently says there is a change required in you and your behavior. You may feel that you are not wrong, but still, you can make some changes in yourself that can help you deal with your teammates and establish a good relationship in the workplace.

Your Mistakes

- You never respond to your boss on his mail regarding his wish to meet you.
- You never respond to your HR manager.
- You are lacking the confidence and trust of your boss/seniors/teammates.
- Your teammates are complaining because you made them feel like you are rude and so on.
- You are over-conscious and too excited with your work, which is not required, or you need to be wise with these things.
- No action with your negative approach/thinking and lacking self-confidence (indicated by Mr. Khadir above).

Now let me remind you again what I said in my earlier response to you above: "When you realize you've made a mistake, make amends immediately. It is easier to eat crow while it is still warm." ~Dan Heist

Lastly, instead of working with your mistakes and learning, you are saying that there are no career opportunities for you. This is not a good thing and can cause you more harm than anything else can. You have to change your perception. This is just the beginning, and you must not lose heart like this.

Hope you now understand what you further have to do...

Addressing Workplace Concerns: A Step-by-Step Approach

Don't be scared. Talk to your boss. Tell him you wanted him to know about the problems but were scared. Discuss the problems with him in detail. Genuinely try to figure out if the problem is with you (it is possible!) or if the manager is really treating you badly. The big boss will appreciate your forthrightness and genuine desire to resolve the issue. It's not the end of the world.

First of all, I would like to congratulate you for showing the courage and giving suggestions for improvement to your manager. Keep it up and do what you feel is right (at least as per you) because your satisfaction and happiness are more important than anything else.

The Importance of Employee Feedback

The most important question is, how many employees actually open up about issues, share their bad experiences in the office, or disclose the office politics played by seniors/managers or anyone else?

Be positive, have a daring attitude, and perform your job like the best employee. Lastly, make sure that you are always politically right and handle such matters with much more maturity.

What has happened has happened and cannot be undone. By being 'hazy', 'unclear', and yet wanting to 'talk', the message may have left scars, but fortunately, they are not indelible (i.e., they're removable). Self-talk yourself into 'believing' you said/did the right thing, but then remember, there is no fancy reason to hide behind the curtains. Trying to be evasive and not gathering yourself to face the boss would get him wondering and assuming all things 'conceivable' about you, most of which may be untrue or unfounded. This will widen the gulf between your boss and you.

Go the way a wounded soldier marches with his chest pushed out to face his commanding officer and accepts whatever he has done, wittingly or unwittingly. You are that brave soldier, I'm certain.

You should immediately meet your boss. If he raises the issue of not meeting him, just be frank and tell him the truth and apologize. And yes, don't be more loyal than the king.

If you are accepting that you did something wrong, then there is no problem in apologizing. However, first, be clear about your own image. You have emailed your HR Manager using an anonymous name, and yet here in CiteHR, you are asking for help anonymously. If you are confident in your actions, then there is no need to keep your identity a secret.

I fully agree with the suggestions of Board Moderator, Mr. Anil Arora. To add to it, I would like to refer to Jo Harry's window, which I read about during my MBA in HRD. There are four quadrants, and your case, to some extent, falls in the quadrant 'unknown to self, known to others.' You may think all is normal with you, but it is important for others to think alike as well.

Addressing Your Problem

I suggest that you immediately meet your HRD head and first apologize for the delay. Then, come to the main point, if he is in a mood to discuss. I know sometimes managers are so upset with one such act that the main problem is sidelined. Last but not least, don't bypass your TL and Section Incharge, as this may hurt their ego and unnecessarily put them off. However, don't stop pursuing your agenda either if you are convinced that, in the ultimate analysis, it's good for the organization.

Regards,
SK. LIMAYE
MBA (HRD)

Thank you all for the valuable advice. Thanks for waking me up. Today, I will meet with my HR and explain what happened. Just pray for my good luck.

Thanks again!

By sending the email, you have already expressed your opinion about the work culture/environment practiced. So, be transparent and go ahead; it will be a good experience for the future. Remember, you were selected on merit and not on a reference. Be bold and straightforward.

Hi Everybody,

So today, I did it... I reached a little early to the office and went to his cabin. He was tense about some matter, yet he listened to me politely. He was busy with other work, so he couldn't talk to me. The only thing that confuses me is that he said, "WITH EXPERIENCE, YOU WILL LEARN." Is he going to fire me from the job or something else? 

Anyways, my mind is fifty percent at peace now. Thank you all for suggesting and boosting my courage to speak...!! Thanking you again.

Regards,
Ashraf Ali