The last incidence in my life forced me to see the things from a different window.
I was in discussion with this guy. Up to the point where the discussion was going in his favour, everything went smooth but as I opened my arsenal of brand new arguments with unbreakable shield. Thing suddenly turned ugly. He intentionally guided that discussion into personal insult and fired hundreds of derogatory remarks on me. But in this whole scene my tongue behaved like a good girl (As I don`t believe in attacking personally in an argument)
At last, we were called by our bosses and the discussion ended up there (Thanks to the bosses)
But after 2 or 3 hours he came back with a fake smile and soulless sentences "Don`t take it personally, It was not meant to hurt you, all the part and parcel of arguments blah blah blah.........."
Any time when feel we are hurt, rejected, insulted, or any negative emotion. We have already taken that personally. Now for the sake of saying we can say "It’s OK, or it does n` t matter" but you can`t go in past and remove those feeling.
I am yet to find a person on this earth, who is above taking thing personally. No one is.
Now the million dollar question is how to work with those emotions?
Something should be done. I can`t let anybody disturb my emotional balance with some foolish and idiotic statements.
The usual thing which million of mindless chicken heart people will say or follow is "Forget it, or don`t let it upset you, or it doesn`t matter what he says or you are batter then him etc...." and the irony is at that time it seems a noble thing to do.
To get over it with few good reasons, they will definitely fall flat in front of your emotions. Because emotions don`t understand logic. If you are angry, you angry, no logic in it. If you feel insulted, you can`t control it.
But have found that there are three ways in which we can work with the emotions
1) Don`t take it personally (Won`t work. It actually never have worked)
2) Take it personally right there
3) Take it personally later
We have discussed over the first one now it is the turn of 2nd and 3rd
Take it personally right there:-
In this case, you do whatever it takes to pull down that son of a b****. How dare he?
You can argue back, Do a Tit for Tat or essentially changing the topic. The details don’t really matter.
What matters is that you don’t let yourself feel the after effect of those statements.
But there is slight glitch in that, the feeling would goes unaddressed, so you’ll never have a chance to heal. Or to learn from the situation to better protect you in the future.
All because you had no good reasons to not take it personally.
Take it personally later:-
In this case, Learning from the Incident is more important. Here you understand that this guy has rubbed you wrongly but why the feeling of taking it personally is coming.
You try to reason yourself with "why I should not take this personally"
Mind it once you reached on "why not to take this personally". You will be relaxed with much better reasons.
And you will easily get over it after taking it personally.
I could have discussed here many on going thing in country which we should take personally but left on the readers discretion.....
Please leave a comment about not thanking me but about what as an INDIAN we should take personally to save our country and it pride.
Source of the article :Wisdom from an idiot
I was in discussion with this guy. Up to the point where the discussion was going in his favour, everything went smooth but as I opened my arsenal of brand new arguments with unbreakable shield. Thing suddenly turned ugly. He intentionally guided that discussion into personal insult and fired hundreds of derogatory remarks on me. But in this whole scene my tongue behaved like a good girl (As I don`t believe in attacking personally in an argument)
At last, we were called by our bosses and the discussion ended up there (Thanks to the bosses)
But after 2 or 3 hours he came back with a fake smile and soulless sentences "Don`t take it personally, It was not meant to hurt you, all the part and parcel of arguments blah blah blah.........."
Any time when feel we are hurt, rejected, insulted, or any negative emotion. We have already taken that personally. Now for the sake of saying we can say "It’s OK, or it does n` t matter" but you can`t go in past and remove those feeling.
I am yet to find a person on this earth, who is above taking thing personally. No one is.
Now the million dollar question is how to work with those emotions?
Something should be done. I can`t let anybody disturb my emotional balance with some foolish and idiotic statements.
The usual thing which million of mindless chicken heart people will say or follow is "Forget it, or don`t let it upset you, or it doesn`t matter what he says or you are batter then him etc...." and the irony is at that time it seems a noble thing to do.
To get over it with few good reasons, they will definitely fall flat in front of your emotions. Because emotions don`t understand logic. If you are angry, you angry, no logic in it. If you feel insulted, you can`t control it.
But have found that there are three ways in which we can work with the emotions
1) Don`t take it personally (Won`t work. It actually never have worked)
2) Take it personally right there
3) Take it personally later
We have discussed over the first one now it is the turn of 2nd and 3rd
Take it personally right there:-
In this case, you do whatever it takes to pull down that son of a b****. How dare he?
You can argue back, Do a Tit for Tat or essentially changing the topic. The details don’t really matter.
What matters is that you don’t let yourself feel the after effect of those statements.
But there is slight glitch in that, the feeling would goes unaddressed, so you’ll never have a chance to heal. Or to learn from the situation to better protect you in the future.
All because you had no good reasons to not take it personally.
Take it personally later:-
In this case, Learning from the Incident is more important. Here you understand that this guy has rubbed you wrongly but why the feeling of taking it personally is coming.
You try to reason yourself with "why I should not take this personally"
Mind it once you reached on "why not to take this personally". You will be relaxed with much better reasons.
And you will easily get over it after taking it personally.
I could have discussed here many on going thing in country which we should take personally but left on the readers discretion.....
Please leave a comment about not thanking me but about what as an INDIAN we should take personally to save our country and it pride.
Source of the article :Wisdom from an idiot