Is Loneliness a Growing Concern for Young Professionals in India's Metros? Let's Discuss

Dear friends,

Namaskar.

Nowadays, you will frequently find articles in print media on loneliness and singlehood. Is it true or just academic? In the India Today issue dated 7/11/2005, there is a long article under the heading "Alone in the city." The opening paragraph reads:

"In the late 1990s, the country's private sector workforce was learning to cope with stress emanating from high-pressure jobs and demanding work schedules. Today, there is a silent killer stalking the corridors of large companies - loneliness. It's a classic Bridget Jones syndrome; the only difference is that it's not limited to the fairer sex. Thousands of young professionals who are moving to India's metros to take up jobs in the booming services sector are forming a giant pool of loneliness."

Is it a fact? Are they self-sufficient to combat this malady? What is the way out? This topic requires discussion.

Regards

Dr. Ji,

It is a fact. You can see that in the mushrooming mega call centers and BPO's. Almost every day, I see tens of BPO employees walking in and out of our apartment complex, getting dropped off or picked up in overspeeding Qualis/Sumos, etc. You can see the loneliness and boredom on their faces. Is it the other side of the BPO boom coin?

Yes, what can be done to combat the malady? A good question that we need to discuss, debate, and rack our brains to find the solution. It is essential for the well-being of society.

Bala

Namaskar and thank you for your observations.

Being lonely and feeling of loneliness are two different levels. It is the latter which is damaging. It is not the monopoly of BPO employees alone. Humanity has shifted significantly from individualism to a sense of loneliness. To me, it appears that the tendency towards self-aggrandizement and belittling others is the most potent factor in psychologically distancing oneself from others.

Let us see what others' observations are.

Regards

Hello friends,

"In the late 1990s, the county's private sector workforce was learning to cope with stress emanating from high-pressure jobs and demanding work schedules. Today, there is a silent killer that's stalking the corridors of large companies - loneliness. It's a classic Bridget Jones syndrome; the only difference is that it's not limited to the fairer sex. Thousands of young professionals who are moving to India's metros to take up jobs in the booming services sector are forming a giant pool of loneliness."

Joining the discussion,

I think and as far as I see, it's not only the call centers, but also the IT companies and most private companies that have contributed to these problems. In fact, I really appreciate these IT & ITES companies that at least consider this for their employees and take actions to overcome it. On the other hand, private companies, if not in work timings, put different kinds of stress on their employees.

What's the use if you are working in day timings yet don't get time for your families? What if you reach home after 10 pm and find your children asleep? The job pressure, stretched working hours, target pressure, etc., not only cause a kind of psychological pressure, which though with your family, you are not actually present, that again causes a feeling of loneliness when you cannot give time to your family members even if they are not away from you. Literally, I have seen this with many of my colleagues and friends.

Now the second view is for those who come to metros far away from their families to work. No doubt, some or the other times they do feel loneliness. The best option I have seen is friends; most of these people find friends in the same company or in the neighborhood who try to spend time with them.

Again, a routine schedule if exercised can work against this problem. See how much time we get after our jobs and what are the daily activities that we do. We can organize them to utilize that time.

Well, all for now. In the process of thinking, will post if something strikes right.

Dips

Hello all,

It is true that a typical knowledge worker in the IT/ITES sector faces some kind of loneliness. Even though the company he/she works for boasts about conducting weekend parties and trips, the fact remains that the internal bond between two or more humans is decreasing. There is no belief in each other.

In the pursuit of making money, people run around crazily and end up draining or losing themselves and their identity. I wonder, do they live or merely exist? This is the usual DINK syndrome (Double Income No Kids), where the husband and wife are professionals who seldom meet. Maybe they meet only in the elevator or pantry.

In such circumstances, people do feel alone. The worst part is that a person does not even have the time to think that he is alone.

I fear the workaholic pattern of the current generation could be the cause of many estranged marriages.

Very learned observations. Before I respond to the points of discussion, may I ask Sree whether it is DINK or DINKY (double income, no kids yet)?

Regards

Hello Ji,

Well, the DINK or DINKY, I feel, progresses with age. I mean: Double Income No Kids Yet (DINKY) for people who are married not so long ago, and DINK for a couple who married long ago and forgot about reproducing, or rather they do not have the time to think about their future generation.

Your views are anticipated.

Sree

Sree, I agree with you. To redefine it scientifically:

DINK - People who avoid bearing children for the fear of having setbacks in their career.

DINKY - Couples who are married and who cannot bear children (infertile) due to occupational hazards like excessive stress, excessive smoking, etc.

Hi all,

This indeed is a nice discussion going on. I agree with the point that people coming to big metros for jobs experience loneliness. Initially, it is fun, getting used to new surroundings, etc., but it is only until this phase that one does not have time to realize the lonely feeling. Once this phase is over, the feeling creeps in.

I am stressing on the word "feeling" because I have seen instances where even though the person was not alone, so to say (relatives were nearby, friends were there too), but the fact that every day was a fight... right from going to the office to surviving there and coming back... that the person became a clamped shell... totally introverted.

Big cities take away the real life from the day... days are measured in the number of trains missed or number of coffees had!

I guess that is where my definition of standard of living differs... It's all finally about the quality of life one lives, and quality does not mean the brands you wear or the malls you visit.

And this rush to earn more is also to blame. It is leading, rather forcing people to get into professions they might not really have a liking for. Knowing the way man is, he will succeed wherever he/she tries. But that might not really make him happy.

And it is this internal loneliness that shows on the outside...

And it is dangerous... because it is for a lifetime if appropriate changes are not made when there is still time!

Pal.

Hi,

A good discussion, but I have a slightly different opinion compared to all of you. I believe at some stage of life, everyone feels loneliness, and it's a fact. Instead of feeling at the mercy of it, I guess we should try to find solutions to overcome them. For instance, one can practice yoga; it makes you tension-free, and yoga is basically 100% coordination of your body, soul, and you feel relaxed. In organizations/companies, you have gyms, cafeterias, etc., where you can spend your time. Read good books where you are self-motivated. Listen to songs, play with your kids; here, the most important aspect is time management. We give training to others on time management, but we ourselves don't follow it. I guess basically how one perceives the world matters; do everything from your heart, and I am sure you will definitely feel good. Always feel that you are at least a hundred times better off compared to others - self-motivation.

Regards,
Promila

Hi Sree,

Thank you, Promila, for sharing your perspective and expressing your opinion. You have also highlighted ways to combat loneliness. Another state of being alone is solitude, which can be beneficial when one can truly be oneself. Loneliness, on the other hand, has a negative connotation. It is a feeling of not being wanted that individuals may experience. Isn't this scenario common in metropolitan areas? Are the majority of people simply striving to secure their own success and social standing?

In reality, people are aware of strategies to overcome loneliness, but the real challenge lies in finding the time to address this issue. Executives today often find it challenging to allocate time for combating loneliness. It seems that time management is a significant obstacle. I would appreciate hearing more viewpoints on this topic.

Best regards,
Sree

Hi Sree,

I think that if a person is getting the feeling that he is not wanted, then in that case, I believe to some extent it depends upon the attitude of the person as well. For example, even in college or school days, there are always groups, and every individual wants to fit in the group that's best suited for them. However, when you start working, you become professional, and all that fun may not be possible. I myself believe it depends upon an individual's self. We can't say that everyone is bad, but of course, there are good people as well. We learn stories with morals not to be greedy, selfish... so why can't we implement them on ourselves?

If today's executives are becoming so busy that they don't have time for their parents and are sending them to old age homes, then I am sorry to say they themselves are creating an atmosphere of loneliness.

Everyone has 24 hours; do the best utilization of that time.

The title song of "KAL Ho Nah Ho" says the same thing: "man, enjoy your life to the fullest, mingle with others, and always move with the attitude that 'yes, I can do it, I am the best.'"

Thanks,

Promila

It is a pity that this comment is heard everywhere nowadays. While I feel that loneliness is an individual thing, it is also dependent on our surroundings.

Madhav

http://www.vkinfotek.com

Loneliness is the state of mind. Like someone said you can be lonely in a crowd if you want to , similarly you can have a feel of being with people if you want to. Working in IT/BPO doesn't stop us from being friendly with the people of different cultures or different backgrounds, infact it gives us an opportunity to expand our friend base. We are lonely because we have not managed our time well or we have not prioritized the essentials of our life.

Hi,

Loneliness. It is what we feel when no one seems to respond to us, listen to us, and when what we do at work does not result in a positive outcome.

It is up to us to recognize that most of the work we do is beneficial to others.

For old people, it means something more. I read somewhere that Shri. Amitabh Bachchan, at whatever time he comes home, sits with his parents and tells them about all that happened at work that day.

I think for old people, it is important that their siblings keep talking to them and involve them in events.

For us, working people, loneliness arises when we no longer feel connected to the work we are doing. This can be overcome when there is appreciation for the work we do. For this, we need a vigilant and discerning manager.

In a BPO, work can also become tedious. I feel it is much better to work in a BPO than in a PSU, where there is a high chance that we become senile. If we want to avoid this, we need to work and take up responsibilities that are challenging in a PSU. It is better to be exhausted from lots of work than from having no work!

As Sri Sri Ravi Shankar said, people get sick chasing more and more money and eventually spend all their money to fight this sickness. How true!

By reducing corruption, we can offer a chance for a less stressful life. This would lead to more value for money, reduced poverty, better infrastructure, less black money in the market, and consequently fewer mafia dealings.

Regards,

Madhav

[URL: http://www.vkinfotek.com]

Books to break free from bondage!!

Namaskar,

It is a good thing that several aspects of loneliness are posted. However, the aspects of whether people are self-sufficient to combat loneliness and what the ways out are, have yet to be touched upon. I think the spontaneous change of lifestyle to DINK and DINKY touches on these aspects tacitly. So let me post my views on these aspects.

Sree and Ramesh have slightly different views on DINK and DINKY. But I think both are correct depending upon the cases.

People now find it difficult to rear children. Joint families are breaking down. So, it is a "whose whose his his/her her" situation. It is now difficult to instill the lifestyle or habits into the children that the parents wish. Almost the entire lifestyle of children is shaped by TV or peers. Under these circumstances, for some, it is horrifying to have children. So, DINKs or DINKYs prefer marriage to combat loneliness rather than procreation. What will happen to them when they slowly become disabled? Probably, old age homes are the answer.

Regards