How Should I Handle a Rude Senior Employee Without Rocking the Boat?

I have just joined a small firm as an HR Executive where there are 20 to 25 employees working. I am directly reporting to the Director. Most of the employees have been working here for the past 6-7 years and hence play an important role in the company. One of them is a poet; I must say he is talented and hardworking but very rude by nature. He doesn't have any manners when speaking to others, especially new joiners, maybe because he feels that he is a senior employee. Sadly, his attitude towards me is the same, which, for obvious reasons, I don't like. When the boss is not around, he plays music so loudly, mostly ghazals and folk songs. I don't know about others, but it really disturbs me. Now, I feel that being just 2 months old in this role, if I complain about him, I don't know how people will perceive this.

I really need your advice on this.

Thanks.

Please speak to your colleagues to see if they are also facing the same problem. If they are, then kindly inform management about it. As you work in HR, it is important to keep management informed about what is happening in the office premises.

Thank you.

Addressing Rude Behavior in the Workplace

Rude behavior needs to be reported to the managers. If you are disturbed by behavior that does not meet office decorum, it should be addressed with management.

To give an example, my mom faced a similar situation when she joined her last company about 25 years ago. A person in the office thought of himself as indispensable and was rude, arrogant, and generally refused to follow instructions. My mom clearly told him she expected him to behave properly and do the work as instructed. When that didn't work, she reported it to the sales manager in charge of the office. After one warning from the manager, the person changed his behavior immediately and ensured he treated my mom with respect from that point on.

However, you need to make a decision on this, keeping in mind your circumstances, the attitude of the manager, and the hierarchy. Whether others will back you up is another matter to consider.

Exactly my point. I don't know whether others will support me on this or not for one reason - I'm new to this company, and others, including the team lead, have been working here for the past 7 years. In fact, when he listens to the songs, nobody utters a word.

Still, at least now, I am confident that my approach towards this is correct. I will wait for the next few days and will directly approach my senior on this.

Thank you all for your support and kind advice. I really appreciate it. For executives like us, sometimes, since we are new to the organization, we are scared to make a robust decision. But when we speak to others, at least we come to know whether we are making the right decision or not.

Thanks once again.

Regards,
Geetika

Handling Difficult Colleagues as a New Employee

As you mentioned that you are new to the company, first of all, try to observe the mentality of the people who have been working there for the last five years, and you will notice the difference. When your experience grows, you will encounter many such issues during your journey. Every person will have some flaws in their routine; just identify that significant flaw, also known as a loophole, and apply pressure on that person so that they understand why they are being pointed out.

People will rely on their talent if they have enough worth, but individuals like these will rely on the experience they have since they are not valuable enough. You may not receive a proper result by directly complaining about him. Moreover, if he discovers that you filed a complaint against him, he may escalate his rude behavior towards you, making you a target. This could lead to further distress for you.

Therefore, handle the situation tactically and intelligently; for instance, approach one of the senior employees who is very close to the boss to address his behavior. Ensure that your involvement does not get exposed.

Regards,
Rajesh
[Phone Number Removed For Privacy Reasons]
Ahmedabad

No matter whether you are a new employee or not, if you are feeling very disturbed, there is no point in waiting. My advice is that you report verbally to the concerned person. In some organizations, the peons play a key role with the support and goodwill of employers, as they receive feedback about an employee through peons. Moreover, there might be employees among the group who are disturbed, but they can't respond since no support is given by others. When you get a chance to share things with them, you will get an idea about their views.

Dear Geetika & others, As you are an HR professional, your first duty is to bring him in line with the organization. Since you say he is a good worker, it is all the more necessary that he behaves himself. Therefore, you need to confront him and tell him to stop. The more you tolerate this sort of nonsense, the more such irritants would follow. There are some characters in every organization who try to test the endurance limit of newcomers. However, you need to tackle it tactfully but firmly. Prepare well for such an eventuality, call him to your office, and tell him directly that this behavior is not acceptable. Every office needs to maintain certain decorum and decency. If all your persuasive efforts fail, then escalate the issue to the higher boss.

All the best.

KK

I feel that it is HR's duty to set these kinds of people right. Take it as a learning opportunity and tell him that he cannot speak to you like this. Make him understand that you have your own value in the company. If his rude behavior continues, speak to the person to whom he is reporting and then to your boss if necessary. You should handle this case on your own rather than involving many people. All the very best to you 

Regards,

These are situations that are not taught in any HR curriculum. However, these situations are very real.

There is no unique way or a single prescription to deal with such cases. Such situations get solved if one "leads" by example.

Projecting the Right Personality

What kind of personality do you project? If you are perceived as a "no-nonsense," punctual, disciplined, and dedicated HR professional, then whatever you say shall carry weight. You just have to tell him firmly but politely that his music distracts you from your official duties and he should use 'headphones' instead of disturbing others.

Handling Rude Behavior

About his rude behavior; it is difficult to say anything unless you quote the verbal exchange verbatim. Suffice it to say that it can be a perceptual error on your part. Also, consider the fact that he is a peon, and his way of talking is a reflection of his socio-economic background. It is futile to expect polished behavior comparable to that of an executive.

Try to deal with this issue with compassion and empathy, and I am confident of your success.

Do feel free to give your feedback on the developments.

Warm regards.

As Abdool said, it is one side of the coin and perfect. But a coin has another side. If a manager (especially a new joiner) sustains such rude behavior, he gets the wrong impression. He cannot achieve the change demanded by Top Management.

Challenges for New Managers

Top Management's Key Result Areas (KRAs) cannot be satisfied by the manager. He gets into trouble trying to achieve KRAs with non-performing individuals. The real story starts here. A new manager needs new or extra people to reach the targets, but Top Management does not provide them. The pressure increases on the new manager. I think if a company has a good past record or established rules, only then can it be helpful for the manager to decide.

You would appreciate that there is no dearth of such examples where some employees always behave in a nasty, irritating manner and continue to disrupt the general discipline of the office environment. Since you are new to your organization, you might have been feeling a little odd to speak with this fellow directly. I am sure the type of behavior this peon displays in the office would not have been liked by others also, but they are keeping quiet because they are waiting for someone else to initiate. Human tendency is such that we always tolerate nuisance, ill behavior, turn a blind eye, and wait for someone else to bell the cat.

With my experience, I can advise you on this. Please call this guy into your office and do a small counseling session. Tell him that since he is the most senior employee of the organization, all new employees should look up to him for good behavior, direction, and support. He should lead by example and try to set a positive tone so that the new employees learn values, good behavior, and a good attitude from nobody else other than the most senior employee of the organization. Counseling has magical power, and if done properly, it will definitely bring a sea change in his behavior.

You can also mention that we all appreciate his good taste in music, but listening to songs at a high volume not only disturbs all of us, as we mostly work on tasks that require good mental focus, but also disrupts the general discipline and decorum of the office, which is not right. As a good counselor, you may suggest to him to use earphones if he really loves music so much (although it is not keenly advised).

I think this small counseling session will work wonders to your advantage. After all this, if it doesn't work out, then please don't wait any further. Discuss the same with your fellow colleagues, take one of them with you, and explain the situation to your senior. I believe this problem will be sorted out for sure.

Regards,
Rakesh Pd Srivastav

As Rajesh rightly suggested, you are new, and probably your department is new too. Don't jump to conclusions. You need not start changing people from day one, especially if they are old staff. Take time to study each one of them. Then create a code of conduct and decorum policy which includes attendance, leave, office conduct, dress code, and of course on loud noise, mobile ringtones, etc. Get it approved by your boss and circulate it to all for acknowledgment. You will see the change.

You can actually win the war without fighting it. Please understand that HR is not an individual but a department in itself. It cannot have a personal opinion. Hence, do not let people point fingers at you. Your policies (WIN-WIN ones) should do the needful.

All the best

Addressing the Lack of a Code of Conduct

It is quite strange that your organization does not have any code of conduct regarding personal and behavioral conduct. Rather than confronting management with his ill deeds, incorporate this VERY IMPORTANT clause in your HR Manual/Employee Handbook immediately (a defensive way).

Counseling Session Approach

Secondly, you can have a counseling session with him. If possible, start informally when everyone is around, and if it doesn't work, proceed formally as suggested by seniors above. This pertains to his behavior mentioned earlier.

I like the way Mr. Abddool has jotted down the points and shown a discrete way to behave in the organization. However, I strongly believe that the HR Department CANNOT/SHOULD NOT follow the same, as one of the primary roles of HR is to bring in good change and improve the company environment.

Regards,

As an HRD manager, you should aim to reform an employee as a first preference. Call him to your desk or cabin and explain to him the need to maintain office decorum. Illustrate how, as a person responsible for achieving this, you are advising him to improve for his benefit. Simultaneously, convey the implicit message that you are someone who handles situations with tact but firmness. If there is no improvement, issue him a warning letter promptly, requesting an explanation within 48 hours. If he continues to disregard the warning, discuss with your boss openly about initiating disciplinary action against him.

Additionally, avoid making it too apparent to others that you are new and still familiarizing yourself with the staff, or that you are hesitant to make tough decisions. Remember, no one is indispensable in this world, let alone within an organization.

Kind regards