How Should I Handle Daily Taunts from a Colleague as the Only Female HR in My Office?

Hi all, I have joined a company where there are a total of 10 employees, all males, and I am the only female HR. I am a fresher and joined 1 month back. I am learning rapidly and grasping things related to my work as I have no HR head over me. However, one of my colleagues who handles accounts taunts me daily over my job and work, saying that I don't work and come early, go early, and various other things. As an HR, I remained cool and calm for over a month and tried to tell him in a friendly manner how I am doing my work and the problems and solutions, but still, he is the same.

I helped him in various matters without any delay, but when I asked for any help, he always ignored me. After so long, I was adjusting, but one day I just told him in a loud voice to mind his own business, as I know how to handle my work. Since then, he is not talking to me. As I mentioned, all male fellows are there in my office, and they also taunt him behind his back to mind his own business and work properly, and they laugh. I know I have done a wrong thing at the beginning of my career, but listening to wrong things about your profession and yourself daily is also wrong, I think.

Please help me in sorting out this problem of mine.

Handling Workplace Taunts: A Guide

While empathizing with your situation, it always pays to keep one thing in mind—ALWAYS. What the other person does or doesn't do is NOT in your control, while what you do (in this case, YOUR RESPONSE) is always in your control—gender isn't an issue here, please.

When the accounts guy or others taunt you, MAYBE you are showing the response mechanism which they are EXPECTING? So, obviously, that would only lead to more taunts. Going by what you mentioned, you REACTED rather than RESPONDED. Got the point?

I recollect a quote here: When someone insults you, top it. If you can't top it, laugh at it. If you can't laugh at it, ignore it. If you can't ignore it, probably you deserved it. This would aptly fit into your situation, I guess.

Strategies to Handle Taunts

Suggest learning to 'top' what he says—ALWAYS with a smiling face, AS IF the comments haven't affected you a bit (which is DIFFERENT from the comments actually affecting you—if you notice). Maybe, you can say something like, "You seem to be having a lot of time. How I wish to have the same free time? How about swapping places and then maybe you can go early—anyway I am OK with working late OR I can participate in your barbs/discussions... etc?" Hope you got the point. This is just an example—it all depends on the situation and your presence of mind at that moment. But all along the way, NEVER let your work get affected.

Over time, things should settle down—in your favor.

All the Best.

Regards,
TS

It happens to us and only by us. Individuals who stand their ground may be admired for their unfaltering mentality. This kind of conflict creates a "win at all costs" attitude and can serve to drive the conflicting members apart. One person could ultimately get their way, while the other person may hold a grudge that is never resolved. People who engage in this type of conflict are typically highly aggressive and self-righteous, believing that compromising is a sign of weakness.

Therefore, it is important to be cooperative and willing to compromise. However, be tactful when addressing your colleagues as you may need to act as an HR professional to resolve the issue by being diplomatic. I hope you understand the message I am trying to convey (using a passive-aggressive approach).

Thank you.

Understanding and Managing Workplace Challenges

First, you need to understand the cause of their behavior. As an HR professional, you are in a position that is often viewed with envy by employees from other departments due to the power and influence it holds with management. Additionally, being a woman HR in a male-dominated office, you are learning quickly and gaining control over people management issues, which may cause discomfort among male colleagues who may still hold onto male chauvinism.

I recollect a story about Buddha. There were some pundits who became jealous and envious of Buddha's popularity with the masses. One day, while Buddha was giving a spiritual discourse under a tree to his disciples and people, the pundits came and insulted him by throwing abuses and taunting him and his knowledge. Buddha did not react; he simply smiled. After the pundits left, his disciples asked, "Master, how are you able to smile and remain unaffected by their behavior?" Buddha replied, "If somebody is giving a coin, if you take it, it will remain with you, and if you do not take it, it will remain with the giver." Buddha was sure of himself and thus did not accept their taunts. The pundits, realizing that none of their insults could affect Buddha, left the place exhausted.

Therefore, the first thing you should do is not react to their taunts. If you react, they feel they have succeeded in their mission. If you do not react, they feel they have failed. This feeling of failure, which is a negative emotion, will tire them over time, and eventually, they will fall silent. Remember that your self-esteem is earned by you alone, and nobody has gifted it to you. Therefore, nobody can take it away from you, no matter how hard they try. Ignore them and observe their behavior. Do not allow these incidents to interfere with your role as HR, which means making decisions and taking actions based on the merits of each case, without prejudice. This may ultimately lead to a positive change in their behavior. Consider this an opportunity to manage conflict. All the best.

Regards,
B. Saikumar
HR & Labour Law Advisor
Mumbai

I fully agree with Meenakshi that just remember one thing: when someone is talking behind your back, it means you are two steps ahead. Concentrate only on your work and give the best result.

Handling Workplace Challenges in HR

If you are in the HR field, it is part of your profession to handle these types of people who can create problems on your path.

Regards,
Dev

I too joined this plant being the only female employee among 150 men. I know how you must be feeling and what you must be enduring. But, I guess at the end of the day, that's how professional life is. Things will remain the same until we try to change them. So, I suggest you be patient. Such situations take time. Keep working honestly, and I'm sure your work will fetch you the respect you deserve. Apart from that, don't pay heed to what people say behind your back.

All the best to you.