How Do You Handle a Rude Manager Who Publicly Shames Employees? Seeking Advice!

Hi, I have just joined a company as an HR executive and am taking care of the entire HR gamut.

Handling a Difficult Manager

My problem: There is a female manager in one of our sales departments who is very rude and categorical. She feels no shame in pinpointing any of the people below her for anything. She finds it unprofessional to point fingers at others' personal lives. She doesn't know how to speak gently and in a humanly bearable form. Whenever there is a problem or whenever she creates a scene, she is always on top of the other person. She feels no harm in screaming at employees in front of others. Please help me. How shall I handle her? She always finds reasons to fire innocent people with illogical reasons.

Thank you.

Yes, Shilpi, Mr. Thakkar is absolutely right. First, try to speak to that lady about how one should behave in the office. Second, warn her that she will be issued a warning letter in case of any misconduct. If this behavior continues, then you know what to do.

Thanks & Regards,
Ruchika Chhabra
HR (Airtel)

But ma'am, what is management? Is she also involved in it? At the same time, everybody knows she is very wrong in her actions. She has been working in this organization since 2006. I don't know how to deal with her, especially since my CEO is not well. I don't have anybody to talk to, and she is going all out to make my life miserable by creating HR issues and firing people.

First, you should try to sit with her informally and make her realize how few people are talking positively about her and how others are not. Tell her to make changes to her behavior so that everyone in the organization will speak only positively. In this process, you will also support her.

If the above approach fails, then collect enough incidents with support from victims of her whimsical behavior. Next, confide in senior management and ask them to observe the situation. Take their opinion after some time. Once they are in agreement with you, propose to terminate her employment, considering you are at a junior level.

I have had a similar experience when our admin cum receptionist was behaving erratically (due to the feeling of reporting to someone 10 years younger like me) and lodged complaints against me to the CEO on various issues. I requested the CEO to observe both her and me. Within a month, the CEO himself proposed to terminate her employment.

Please have patience; things will eventually work out in your favor.

Regards,
Sharad

You have to call the Sales Manager and discuss with her calmly. Explain the importance of official decorum, decency, and appropriate behavior towards co-employees, fellow employees, and the feelings of others regarding the Sales Manager's attitude. Since the Sales Manager is not your subordinate or a co-employee in the HR Department, you may suggest to her to behave properly in an awesome manner. Things will be set right soon.

I agree with Ramnaresh sir's views. Just settle down first, find out more weak points of her, as well as make conversations with the employees who are harmed by her and present the issue in front of the senior management.

Mr. Just be cool and intimate her about the way to talk to others. As she is an employee, tell her the right way in the organization. Observe her behavior and give her a warning if not maintaining the right conduct. Be friendly with others, share happiness, and help lessen the feeling of work burden in them.

Regards,
A. Rajesh, HR
Ph: [Phone Number Removed For Privacy Reasons]

Dear Shilpi, A basic principle for any new person joining the organization at any level is "let the people accept you first." So please work on this. The next step is to start collecting feedback about her from other departments or the same department. Be sure that nobody knows HR is working on this; gather as much information as possible, including personal details.

Remember, with your skills and confidence, no one can defeat you. Stay happy and take care.

Regards, Arun Chakravarty

Such people are everywhere, almost in all organizations. We all know that every human being is unique and they possess some unique qualities to maintain their uniqueness. Some possess widely accepted unique qualities, and some possess still-to-be-improved qualities. So, the first thing we should understand is that this is a common phenomenon and not exclusive to your organization.

The Role of HR in Addressing Behavioral Issues

This is where the HR role comes into play. Speak to her about the long years of contribution she delivered towards the organization. Highlight her achievements in the organization and how they have benefited. Then tell her the general feedback about her behaviors in the office. Update her about what people around are thinking about her. Tell her that people are highly impressed with her achievements but everything is getting wasted because of these minor behavioral deficiencies. Update her about the generally accepted behavior patterns in an office atmosphere. Tell her that if she improves her behavior, it is going to help her in a big way in establishing herself in the organization.

Understanding Employee Dynamics

Some employees, especially when they are in an organization for a long time, create a critical space for themselves in the organization. Also, eccentric behavior is considered to be one of the qualities of remarkable employees. They are never satisfied with the way things are happening. They forget their roles and responsibilities and jump in when things are not going the right way, wherever in the organization. In such situations, the management may behave in a lenient way towards their actions. This is quite common. However, when it goes out of proportion, someone should act upon it. If the management believes that one individual is more important than the entire office environment, then no one can help. This does not mean the HR function should keep quiet. We are the custodians of people, and we should be thinking about ways and means to improve the situation.

Regards,
MK Saseedharan

There is a famous school of thought called 'behaviorism.' It states that the behavior praised is repeated by a person, and the frequency of behavior ignored gradually decreases. The person whose behavior is confronted becomes defensive.

The crux of the matter is to ignore any unpleasant behavior until it does not physically or mentally harm anyone and to praise any single act of good behavior. This will slowly condition her to behave in the desired manner.

Behavioral therapy can be done without making it known to the person on whom you are practicing it. In my view, the best possible thing that can be done is ignoring and isolating such people. Whenever you guys are into some informal chit-chat and start laughing or so, and if you notice this person coming towards you, eager to know what's happening, just disband everyone as per the prior agreement to do so and start repeating the treatment. This approach would work in my view.

Also, I did not appreciate one member addressing the problem maker as a "PIG." That is not a correct word to use. We can refer to such individuals with negative attitudes as "Bull Dozers."

Thank you.

When you say that the Manager is rough with everyone, you cannot tamper with the product of God. You can only do one thing, and that is to tactfully ensure the transmission of all her acts of misbehavior to the top management through formal complaints. If still nothing happens, some of the aggrieved employees should gather and demonstrate or agitate against her to the top brass until a solution to their problems is found.

Although this sounds rough, this is the only alternative. In practical applications, sometimes such steps are also resorted to; hence, do not feel shy but keep your hands safe and clean.

Regards,
S.K. Johri

The funny thing is that the management knows about all this. They agree with everything I say, but somehow they never take action against her. I need strategies to convince my management that despite her long service, she is now a threat to the business. Please help me understand the tactics I could use to communicate this message to the top brass.

Handling a Difficult Manager

I had just joined a company as an HR executive and am taking care of the entire HR gamut. My problem: There is this one female manager in one of our sales departments. She is very rude, categorical, and feels no shame in pinpointing any of the people below her for anything. She finds it unprofessional to point fingers at other people's personal lives. She doesn't know how to speak gently and in a humanly bearable form. Whenever there is a problem or she creates a scene, she is always on top of the other person, showing no harm in screaming at employees in front of others.

Please help me on how I should handle her. She always finds reasons to fire innocent people with illogical justifications.

Best Solution

There is advice by Aristotle to Cleopatra: "Never try to convince fools." As your colleague's qualities are known to everyone, don't hesitate to be assertive and firm with her whenever you have an opportunity to deal with her. Eventually, she will come to terms with you.

Best of luck.

Regards,
Dr. Rao
Freelance HR Trainer
[Email Removed For Privacy Reasons]

Understanding Management's Perspective

Please understand this from a larger picture. If the management is not giving attention to her when she is screaming or shouting at people, that means the management wants her to be rude and target-oriented.

You are facing an issue with her because you are a people-oriented person. Since she is in the sales department, they have high pressure, and they have to put the same pressure on her subordinates.

Being a lady, if she has to be so vocal, then it is clearly understood that she is being pressurized by the management to perform or perish.

HR's Role and Boundaries

As an HR professional, we have to understand that we need to know our boundaries and we have to go by the policies. If your organization has a People Policy or Behavioral Policy which she is breaking, you can request the HR Manager to issue a warning letter stating the violation of policy has occurred and if repeated would lead to termination.

Please understand, an organization with heavy sales pressure tends to follow the same pursuit, and as HR professionals, we can only replace the resources and provide the data collected during the exit interview and present the same to the management.

There is no point in you feeling dejected. As HR professionals, we have to accept and move on with the fact that people for us are resources.

Do your work, present your data, and let the management take the call.

Best Regards,

Ashwin Kumar
HR Generalist

Your narration about the rude manager is a common sight in many places, and in the last four decades, I have seen plenty of them. I am glad to know from the excellent feedback provided by Mr. Ashwin Nair that you have started viewing things differently.

In addition, you may consider the following to make things easier for you.

The Blake's Model and Its Application

The concern for production (in this case, the SALES) and the concern for people is clearly brought out by Blake's Model. The principle to understand here is that production (sales) and people are compared in a classical four-quadrant theory, with both attributes having a low and high and plotted on an X and Y scale. As a student of HR, please revisit this theory to understand the current perspective from the employee and organization point of view.

I am neither a psychologist nor an HR professional, but reading your first email gives the impression that you wrote it when you were very troubled with your emotions. Please put your thoughts in a Word document as they come to your mind. After a while, when you are calm (the gravity of the issue still remains), you will be in a better position to view and understand it. The spelling mistakes will appear before you, waiting to be corrected, and the idea itself would get presented in a better way as you revise a draft. Here again, we can fall back on Stephen Covey's time-tested approach of the 80-20 rule (some refer to it as the 90-10 rule). It is all about how we react or calmly act on what happens to us. It would be worthwhile to glance through these pages again to understand and appreciate the theory we learned. Please remember that theory and practice always coexist and reinforce each other, be it pure science or behavioral science.

I personally feel that HR professionals need to intently watch their internal customers and try to understand them first (Mr. Covey again!!) and then express themselves clearly as far as possible in simple language.

You have not clearly mentioned how this manager deals with you (or should I say that I have not clearly understood it). My question is, on a one-to-one basis, how does she behave with you? Is it the same way or different? In most cases, the behavior of a person tends to be markedly different when they deal with a person in another department. If this is your case, then it is simpler as you start on a platform of stability. If not, it is an acid test of your HR skills, where the theories you have studied would stand in good stead. Please analyze and work in this direction, taking the challenge as an opportunity.

Please remember, often it is the successful handling of such cases that becomes your achievement, and I am sure one day you will write a success story in the same columns of Cite HR.

Wish you good luck.

Regards,
V. Raghunathan, Navi Mumbai