This is a lovely one by Don Wallace and Scott McMurray
Make your disagreements not only easier to handle, but also more
productive.
Mark Twain once observed, "It were not best that we should all think
alike; it is difference of opinion that makes horse-races." For that
matter, it is difference of opinion that makes companies. After all,
business is a contact sport, with conflict a given. The problem isn't
with disagreements, but with how they're resolved.
To help you learn how to disagree without being disagreeable, we've
assembled the fast company Starter Kit on Managing Disagreements. The
breakthrough ideas and techniques these tools offer are designed to
help you make your disagreements not only easier to handle, but also
more productive. And if all else fails, remember another piece of
advice from Twain: "When angry, count to four; when very angry,
swear."
I'm Ok, You're a Pain in the Neck
Let's face it, some people aren't willing to admit that taking a
positive approach to conflict is in their best interest. To them,
conflict means fighting. Period. You're not going to change those
folks -- even several years on an analyst's couch probably wouldn't
do them much good. You can, however, blunt their attacks and go about
your business. Consider these tactics from the enduring Coping with
Difficult People (Dell Publishing) by Robert Bramson, a clinical
psychiatrist and human resources consultant:
Sherman Tanks: try to intimidate you with in-your-face arguments.
They state opinions as facts.
Get their attention by using their first name to begin a sentence.
Maintain eye contact; give them time to wind down.
Stand up to them without fighting; don't worry about being polite.
Suggest you sit down to continue talking.
Snipers: take potshots in meetings but avoid one-on-one
confrontations.
Expose the attack; draw them out in public and don't let social
convention stop you.
Get other opinions. Don't give in to the Sniper's views.
Provide the Sniper with alternatives to a direct contest.
Chronic Complainers: find fault with everyone -- except themselves.
Politely interrupt and get control of the situation.
Quickly sum up the facts.
Ask for their complaints in writing.
Negativists: know that nothing new will work; they'll toss a wet
blanket when you're trying to light a fire in group brainstorming
sessions.
Acknowledge their valid points; ignore the rest.
Describe past successes.
Avoid "You're wrong, I'm right" arguments.
Exploders: throw tantrums that can escalate quickly.
Give them time to regain self-control.
If they don't, shout a neutral phrase such as "Stop!"
Take a time-out or have a private meeting with them.
Book the author recommend to learn more deeply on this
subject "Coping with Difficult People," $5.99 (Bantam Doubleday).
Make your disagreements not only easier to handle, but also more
productive.
Mark Twain once observed, "It were not best that we should all think
alike; it is difference of opinion that makes horse-races." For that
matter, it is difference of opinion that makes companies. After all,
business is a contact sport, with conflict a given. The problem isn't
with disagreements, but with how they're resolved.
To help you learn how to disagree without being disagreeable, we've
assembled the fast company Starter Kit on Managing Disagreements. The
breakthrough ideas and techniques these tools offer are designed to
help you make your disagreements not only easier to handle, but also
more productive. And if all else fails, remember another piece of
advice from Twain: "When angry, count to four; when very angry,
swear."
I'm Ok, You're a Pain in the Neck
Let's face it, some people aren't willing to admit that taking a
positive approach to conflict is in their best interest. To them,
conflict means fighting. Period. You're not going to change those
folks -- even several years on an analyst's couch probably wouldn't
do them much good. You can, however, blunt their attacks and go about
your business. Consider these tactics from the enduring Coping with
Difficult People (Dell Publishing) by Robert Bramson, a clinical
psychiatrist and human resources consultant:
Sherman Tanks: try to intimidate you with in-your-face arguments.
They state opinions as facts.
Get their attention by using their first name to begin a sentence.
Maintain eye contact; give them time to wind down.
Stand up to them without fighting; don't worry about being polite.
Suggest you sit down to continue talking.
Snipers: take potshots in meetings but avoid one-on-one
confrontations.
Expose the attack; draw them out in public and don't let social
convention stop you.
Get other opinions. Don't give in to the Sniper's views.
Provide the Sniper with alternatives to a direct contest.
Chronic Complainers: find fault with everyone -- except themselves.
Politely interrupt and get control of the situation.
Quickly sum up the facts.
Ask for their complaints in writing.
Negativists: know that nothing new will work; they'll toss a wet
blanket when you're trying to light a fire in group brainstorming
sessions.
Acknowledge their valid points; ignore the rest.
Describe past successes.
Avoid "You're wrong, I'm right" arguments.
Exploders: throw tantrums that can escalate quickly.
Give them time to regain self-control.
If they don't, shout a neutral phrase such as "Stop!"
Take a time-out or have a private meeting with them.
Book the author recommend to learn more deeply on this
subject "Coping with Difficult People," $5.99 (Bantam Doubleday).