How Can We Communicate Effectively Without Offending Others? A Story to Reflect On

What is Effective Communication?

Jack and Max are walking from religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying. Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"

So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest, may I smoke while I pray?" But the Priest says, "No, my son, you may not. That's utter disrespect to our religion."

Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him. Max says,

Very effective! Communication, if used right, can be very powerful! Reminds me of a joke, but then, the message is powerful...

In England, John has been summoned to court for having greeted his neighbor, Mrs. Robinson, with "Good Morning, pig!" The judge pronounces a fine of ten pounds for insulting her. John pays up and then asks the judge if there is any fine for calling a pig by name. The judge says, "Of course not!" John turns to Mrs. Robinson and wishes her: "Good Morning, Mrs. Robinson!"

Sanath

It's not really so tricky! It's the positive way of saying it. Like the adage - Half empty or half full! For every negative way of asking or saying something, if we practice a positive way of saying it, half the problem is solved. For example, most of us have the habit of saying - "Don't do this." If we could simply say "Do this instead," the person would get the message faster, clearly, and with no confusion. Another thing we commonly tell others is "Don't forget!" "Please remember" seems so simple instead! (Don't say "please try and remember." We are giving them two options then! And that can give confusing signals.) I read it someplace (probably in some self-help books) why it is important to use positive words and not negatives. And I have found it rather simple to follow. My advice: First try it with/on kids. We are more patient with them than with adults and easy to forgive too! (Of course, I've learned through experience!!!) June