How Do You Handle a Pessimistic Team Member Who Wants to Skip Steps? Seeking Advice!

Dear Seniors, I would like to share a case with you. I am a team leader with a benevolent attitude. However, one of my team members who has recently joined is quite pessimistic and does not work as expected. He dislikes anything and everything. He wants to do what I do. I have no problem with that, but why not take it step by step? How should I proceed? I did speak to him, but he remains silent. However, actions speak louder. Please suggest.

Kind Regards,
Monica

I suggest assigning him some responsible tasks and communicating the results you are expecting. Preferably, assign him a task in the area of his experience. Review his performance and then give him feedback—positive feedback or areas for improvement. The approach should not be to highlight his negative points but to bring out what is good in the employee; hence, the assignment should align with his experience. Regardless, deal with him in a professional manner. Though he may aspire to work at your level, the key point is for him to prove himself efficient in the area of work for which he was hired. Please assign him an appropriate task and evaluate his capabilities.

I hope my suggestions are helpful to you.

I read your words "I am a team leader with a benevolent attitude." I seriously think that the change should start from you. How can you declare yourself as a team leader with a benevolent attitude? When you are working in a team, you should be a guide, facilitator, or mentor for your team members and not put yourself into a circle and start calling yourself a team leader.

When you are expecting a change, the change should start from you. Please introspect and see if you need to change first. I strongly believe that to have open communication, we should let go of our ego and then start communicating. Have a discussion with your team member, understand him or her from their point of view, and put forward your unbiased observations and suggestions to your team member. Give them goals and timelines to finish the goals.

Even after our positive approach, if the team member doesn't reciprocate and respond, think it is high time to reprimand the person with disciplinary action.

Regards,
Kumar

Please do not misunderstand my words. I am not trying to boast about myself but simply presenting a situation or case. Personally or in a team, he never contributes anything. It seems he has no problems nor any queries. Everything is understandable for this person.

As humans, all of us are made differently. No two people think alike or consider any problem in a similar manner. Regarding the current issue you seem to be facing, it appears that the new team member may not have previously worked in a cohesive team and thus may not be aware of the "how to" part of it. Since he is now a member of your team, you need to find ways to engage him in regular dialogue. This conversation may be mainly work-related, with bits of probing about his earlier job or whatever he was doing. Try to get him to speak more, with more open-ended questions like "Your earlier job must have required a different set of skills..." and give him a chance to respond. If he hesitates to answer, try another question, again open-ended. This may make him divulge certain inputs which may be the cause of his present work behavior. Remember, communication is the key and shall always be. If you adopt a "Why should I bang my head" attitude, your team shall suffer, and you may then resort to getting out yourself. Become a leader, think of newer ways to rope in this guy and make him feel part of the team. Best of luck!!

Regards,
Ashok

Call the gentleman to your table and offer him dinner outside. Find out your fault, which might be serious in his eyes, and you are ignoring it. During dinner, ask him why he is behaving in such a manner. I think he will open up and act accordingly. Remember, cutting the head is not the solution to a headache. It is also a challenge for your career. You have to find a way to win, and if you do, then you are a great leader.

Regards,
Masud

1. Don't allocate any other jobs until he finishes what you have already given.
2. Tell him you will report to senior management that he is lazy and showing no interest in the job. You may see some results.

Dear Monica,

Prompted by your use of the word 'benevolent' and based on my own life experience, where I had to work with a team member similar to the one you refer to, I am sharing my views.

Three years ago, when faced with a similar challenge, my initial thought process was that all mistakes were his. By nature, he was a pessimistic person, and I thought I couldn't do much about that. Upon introspection, I realized the mistake was not just his. I, too, had played my part.

Realisations and Learnings

- I always projected only the 'goody-goody' part of myself.
- When he made mistakes, I pardoned him. At the same time, I did not take the time to explain that such mistakes were unacceptable with clarity, conviction, and rationale.
- By sharing with him the challenges I was facing with my boss, business partners, etc., I contributed to his becoming more cynical about things around him.
- By sharing my vulnerable side with him, I made him feel, "he is not a boss worthy of following."
- By being close to him, he tended to lose respect for the 'chair' I was holding and started taking me for granted.

These factors allowed him to gain the upper hand over me and, worse still, made him feel, "I am better than Chandru, and therefore, let me aspire to do things he is doing."

Steps to Change the Situation

Based on these realizations, over time, I changed the situation to everyone's favor. The actions I took were as follows:

- Stopped giving him negative inputs about anyone or anything that happened in the company.
- Limited my conversations/interactions about personal matters.
- Ensured access to information, which he was previously privy to directly, was now possible only through me.
- Whenever any work was assigned to him (apart from the routine), I took extra time to set the details of what he should be doing, by when, with whose help, and where he needed to keep me in the loop.
- This was not a typical performance assessment but a detailed description at the execution level. Through all these, I made him understand where exactly his limit ended.
- More than ever, I encouraged spending a lot of time with him but focused only on official matters.

Through persistent, direct, and indirect communication and action, I made him feel that while I thoroughly respected him as an individual, I was not going to accept his rebellious attitude for no reason.

Things did change, but not completely. At least I ensured respect for the chair was retained.

More importantly, two years down the line, this employee is now with one of the top 3 IT companies globally, managing around 4,000 employees under him. To date, he calls me to update, seek guidance, and generally 'be in touch.'

Very recently, a month ago, he called me to say he now realizes how much trouble he gave me. He appreciated my sense of patience, understanding, and professionalism.

I am sure you too will be able to find your way out of the situation and discover a leadership quality in yourself, hitherto probably unknown.

Wishing you all the very best...

Regards,
Chandru