Original Article by Robert Jerus
There's a fine balance when dealing with people between the arrogant, aggressive, offensive style and the timid, submissive doormat method. The balance is in being confident enough to be assertive of personal rights and boundaries while respectful of others.
There's a fine balance when dealing with people between the arrogant, aggressive, offensive style and the timid, submissive doormat method. The balance is in being confident enough to be assertive of personal rights and boundaries while respectful of others.
1. Know the distinction between being assertive versus being aggressive or arrogant
<B>Assertive people promote their rights rather than stepping on those of others.</B>
2. Have clear boundaries when dealing with others.
If you're clear where the limits are, others know as well.
3. Politely but directly, let people know your position.
Don't allow your position, point of view and feelings to be ignored. Your needs are important.
4. Affirm yourself and your good qualities.
Develop self-confidence and positive self-esteem.
5. Know what you want.
There is a time and a place to go along with others but there is also a time to reach for your own dreams.
6. Avoid being timid.
While aggressiveness steps on the rights of others, being overly timid sacrifices your own rights. Don't let others steamroller you.
7. Be willing to clearly say either yes or no and to stand by your answer.
Allow yourself to develop opinions and maintain them.
8. Avoid arrogance.
Dominance and controlling tendencies impinge on others being themselves.
9. When opinions are in question, give yourself permission to self-disclose.
Let others know your viewpoint and recognize that it is significant.
10. Take responsibility for yourself.
Don't make many excuses. Require that friends and associates take responsibility for themselves and their actions. Avoid being codependent; be careful not to dominate quieter spirits.