Feeling Out of Place in a Corporate World: How Do You Overcome Social Hesitation?

Hi Guys, I have recently joined an MNC where I am feeling hesitant as the other staff members are from convent schools and come from wealthy families. Please advise, as I am losing my identity day by day due to my hesitation in talking and sharing my food.

Thank you.

Tanya, this is something to do with your attitude and mindset. I wonder how you can lose your identity by sharing your food with others. If it has something to do with table manners, you can simply Google and find out what TABLE ETIQUETTE is.

Food is enjoyed for its taste, irrespective of whether it is made by the rich or not. Treat your colleagues as friends; never differentiate them as rich or convent-passed. When you are working in an MNC, everyone is equally treated and shares the same privileges of being human.

You are a victim of an inferiority complex and should be looking to eliminate it as early as possible. Come out of all these thoughts, walk out one day with your colleagues, and share your food. They might be looking for an opportunity to spend time with you and might even enjoy the food more than you do!

All the best

Dear Tanya, I agree with Mr. Sriram Warrier. You must treat your colleagues as friends; never differentiate them based on their wealth or educational background. Regards,

Tanya, a very nice question from you. We generally observe this at many workplaces.

Understanding Workplace Dynamics

First, you should understand one thing - you are no longer in a school or convent; a company hired you based on your skillset. Here, richness doesn't matter; your 'performance' matters.

If those rich gals don't perform well, you may not see them down the line. Where you could see yourself as a 'manager,' then you have to deal with people who may feel the same way as you are feeling now.

So, this is the cycle of life - never let your weaknesses speak out and shape up as 'inferiority complex.' If it happens, others will have a reason to tease you.

Many people have the tendency to speak too much or show off fakeness. Don't go by words or looks. Try to comfort yourself with everyone with a cheering smile and have good dressing sense.

Off-track, gals get more attention than men by their clothes, smiling face, and way of talking.

Just buck up and get geared to explore a new Tanya. Your name carries so much confidence; maintain that in person. Make your presence attractive and engaging. Enhance your process knowledge so that people come to you for more details.

There's nothing wrong with sharing food or sitting with the rich class. Sit with people who value you and see the pleasure you feel.

Carry on...

Well said, Mr. Sriram and Anil. I too posted a comment earlier on this discussion, but it did not get posted. Well, I'll write again. You can share your food with them; if they don't want it, then let them go. Why should you worry? As Anil said, "the company hired you based on your skillset... here richness doesn't matter, your 'performance' matters."

One more thing to note is that most of the rich family members join to gain knowledge or experience, and later they leave to take care of their family business. So kindly concentrate on your work and let go of all other invaluable things.

Thanks.

Hi Guys, thank you for your guidance. I want to establish my identity. Please share some tips that I can apply starting tomorrow. I aim to communicate and share knowledge, but I struggle with fluency in English. Please advise.

Hi Tanya, firstly, start with a smile. A smile gives you much confidence. Get rid of your inferiority complex and fear. Don't wait for others to come and speak to you first. You go ahead and speak to them. Be pleasant always. Carry a pleasant smile on your face always. This will help you a lot. Walk with confidence. Why are you worried to share your food with others? Mingle with your colleagues. As other members commented, you are not in a school anymore. You are working in an MNC, and they have recruited you for your skillset. So, perform well in your job and concentrate on how to improve your performance.

Learning English

Learning English can be done only through practice. If you are speaking in your regional language to your colleagues, practice using many English words per sentence. If you keep doing this, you could speak English fluently. Search Google and find out online English tutorials. Read English newspapers, magazines, and books. This will help you a lot.

All the best!!!! Keep smiling always!!!! :)

Brilliant support, Sushmita!! Tanya, I agree with her comments, and she mentioned one hidden point about communication that will help you very much for your desired presence.

Key Aspects to Enhance Your Presence

To sum up, there are only three things that will enhance the importance of your presence:

- Your way of communication with people (soft, crisp, with empathy, with an added smile, consoling humor, etc.)
- Your behavior with others (mingling with people, active participation in discussions, eliminating what others think, maintaining distance while you talk with others, etc.)
- Your physical appearance (no bad breath, a mild fragrance, your dressing sense, a healthy talk, etc.)

All you need is a recheck on your thought process, avoid assumptions, and be normal with a fresh and open mind. Welcome ideas...

Good luck.....

Regards

Dear Tanya, congratulations on this job that is propelling you to the next level in terms of professional knowledge and grooming. Consider embarking on a 30-day project to refine yourself. I highly recommend the "Try something new - 30 day projects" video, which can kickstart a transformative process.

You have already pinpointed the areas you want to improve. Establish a daily schedule for learning and practicing these skills.

Focus on recognizing your shortcomings and replacing them with the appropriate presentation.

Utilize both audio and video resources to aid your learning. Watch a YouTube video on corporate grooming in the evenings, and listen to language proficiency audio files while commuting. Implement what you have learned throughout the day and strive to acquire new knowledge.

Observe those around you without mimicking their behavior. Study their mannerisms, choice of words, subtleties, and non-verbal cues to adapt to your new environment. It takes time to refine your behavior, so be patient with yourself.

Consider enrolling in a language grooming course offered by professional institutions like the British Council. Starting with their basic online courses can not only expand your knowledge but also provide certifications.

Take into account the valuable contributions of our members.

Lastly, view this as a lifelong journey rather than a time-bound program. You will be pleasantly surprised by the results as you dedicate yourself to self-improvement. Focus on becoming the best version of yourself, not a replica of someone else.

Videos to watch:
- "Language as a Window into Human Nature" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-son...eature=related
- "Grooming for Girls" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRxva...eature=related - Despite its age, pay attention to how poise and grace are exemplified in this video. This classic piece is still recommended by grooming experts. Adapt the teachings to suit your environment, as you are the best judge of that.

Regards

Hi Tanya, I am working with a pharma MNC's HR-Recruitment department. I would like to show you the difference:

Assume that you are comparatively poor and low in confidence, skills, and communication, not from a convent, and others are just the opposite in every aspect as you mentioned earlier only.

Now, if a company is hiring a non-convent, which is you, and a convent, that means the company has found that confidence and caliber in you with the same pace as in others. As per them, you are as rich as a convent staff in terms of all skills. Now it is time for "INTRAINTRODUCTION."

Explore your talent to them and prove yourself as a right hiring. They know about you; now you have to know YOU. Rest learning is a continuous and lifelong process, and I would suggest you take regular classes for English speaking instead of online.

"LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO BE CONFUSED AND DOUBTFUL, ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF IT."

With Regards and Best Wishes,
Minakshi Sharma

Improving Communication and Interpersonal Skills

Falling short of skills in communication and interpersonal transactions can be improved through one's own efforts. One has to take initiative, overcome mistakes, not feel discouraged, and continue progressing. However, for that, one needs to focus on "self-esteem." On that matter, kindly see the attachment. Evidently, it is not my creation, but I have used it for many candidates with good results! Check it out if it helps you!

Regards,
Samvedan

I can give you my own example. As I grew up, I saw my uncles and relatives working for multinationals and other big ventures. I knew one day I would work in formal environments like them, so I observed what they wore closely. In my case, it's all about self-education, and I had to rely on my observation skills. However, some formal training could have made life a lot easier.

Building Confidence in the Workplace

Be confident in yourself and your abilities. Whether you are rich or not, poor or not, or have academic qualifications, it doesn't really matter. If the two of you are working on the same level in the same company, more often than not, your abilities won't have a significant difference.

I feel that this has a really simple solution: Take some time to break the ice. Try to talk to and understand each other. Quite a few times, you'll be surprised that the person in front of you is friendly and warm with you, and not the way you thought they might be.

So, just be confident and try to talk to them. It should solve the problem.

Tanya, Minaxi Sharma has expressed what I wanted to convey. If the company has offered you a job, it means they believe you align with their culture and ethics. Do not let an inferiority complex affect you. English is not the end of the world; communicate in the language you are most comfortable with. Speak in Hindi, Tamil, Marathi, or Gujarati. I have worked in Maharashtra and Gujarat, and I have seen IAS/IPS officers and judges speak in Marathi and Gujarati. Why should you be ashamed of your ability to speak or not speak a language? Moreover, others may start conversing in the vernacular. You can always learn to speak English over time. Do not worry about making mistakes; speak even if there are errors. Countries like Germany, Spain, Italy, France, Japan, Korea, and China do not primarily speak English. Be brave, lady, and do not worry.

Firstly, congratulations on joining an MNC and taking a leap over others in your career. It has been very rightly commented/suggested by all the learned professionals. There is nothing wrong with you regarding the skills required to be successful in your career. It doesn't matter whether you are convent-educated or from a model school; it is your attitude and skills that determine your growth or downfall.

"Do what you love or love what you do."

Regards,
Sanjay Arora

Happiness always...

As mentioned, this is predominantly common. I would like to say, be who you are and start your day with a smile. Try to mingle with others to the extent required, and down the line, what matters is your optimism and skills. Be a leader always and let others adopt the best things from you, and vice versa. It is common for everyone entering an MNC, but everyone learns over time. So, be confident and carry on. You will see a difference within a month's time.

Take care,

Praveena M

Getting the job in an MNC proves that you are efficient as well as capable. Why do you want to look at your peers' backgrounds, whether they are from rich families or convents? All these backgrounds have no effect on corporate culture. Prove your job worthiness, and the entire crowd will turn heads towards you. Boost your confidence, bury egos, stay open, and mix with your team. If you still feel let down, it's probably with your teammates.

Cheers

Hi Tanya, I guess you are feeling a little scared in conversing with your colleagues. Simply do one thing: on a daily basis for 7 days, take a newspaper and read it aloud in front of the mirror. Do it religiously for 7 to 10 days, and you will see the confidence you gain.

Regards,
Aarti

All the above suggestions are the best. I respect them all. There is only one thing I will share with you: be yourself. Don't try to change for anyone else. If you find that you are wrong, try to change yourself. Be realistic with your own image, then everything is solved. Think, is there anything wrong with your behavior? Be positive, and the ultimate solution is to smile.

Best of luck. May God bless you.

Anyone can improve their communication skills by practicing the following:

• Listen to others or watch English news so that you will understand various accents.
• While listening, grab a few words that are new to you. Then, browse their synonyms. Sometime later, try to use those words when required.
• Talk frequently, no matter what kind of terminology you use.

I've experienced similar situations in the initial days of my profession. Improve CONFIDENCE; that is the only thing that gives you the power to move on.

Regards,
Kiran

I just want to know whether you have received your salary from your ex-employer or not. Please stop comparing yourself with others and getting self-demotivated. Believe in self-development and accommodate changes gradually rather than expecting radical change, which is quite unstable. Remember one thing, "none is perfect in this world, but there is always scope for improvement." This applies to every human on earth.

Team up with good employees in your organization, share knowledge, and start learning step by step. Make the best use of the internet and related technology to the extreme level. Several members have suggested the best options, so do follow the same. Learn to motivate yourself in a positive way and have total control over your mind, or you will fail miserably in your life.

Wishing you a successful career and future. Good luck.

With profound regards,

First, I would like to congratulate you on being a part of an MNC company. My dear, first concentrate on your roles and responsibilities, and then on such minor issues. You are not there to feed good food to your colleagues or make friends. Just concentrate on your job.

Best wishes,
Naresh

Congratulations on your achievement. I am accepting the above posts. In my view, you do not need to increase your skills to mingle with your colleagues. One thing you need is self-confidence, and you should know your skills and capabilities. You are very talented compared to them because you competed with convent pass-outs and got a job even though you are not a convent pass-out. You should feel proud of your achievement. Build confidence and mingle with them; in fact, you are superior to them. All the best.

With regards,
Sudheer

Hi Tanya, firstly, start with a smile. A smile gives you much confidence. Get rid of your inferiority complex and fear. Don't wait for others to come and speak to you first. You go ahead and speak to them. Be pleasant always. Carry a pleasant smile on your face always. This will help you a lot. Walk with confidence. Why are you worried about sharing your food with others? Mingle with your colleagues. As other members commented, you are not in a school anymore. You are working in an MNC, and they have recruited you for your skillset. So, perform well in your job and concentrate on how to improve your performance.

Learning English can be done only through practice. If you are speaking in your regional language to your colleagues, practice using many English words per sentence. If you keep doing this, you could speak English fluently. Search Google and find online English tutorials. Read English newspapers, magazines, and books. This will help you a lot.

All the best! Keep smiling always! 

Thanks so much for this reply! This is so true and 100% effective. That's it! All you need is a warm, sincere smile to break down all the (perceived) barriers in your interaction with colleagues.

In the movie "Annie," which I've seen so many years ago, the movie's theme song went: "You're never fully dressed without a smile." Got it? Best of luck!

Regards