Feeling Sidelined by My Boss: How Can I Address This with Senior Management Without Risk?

Hello, I am in the US working as a project manager for a major IT company. I have been working with the same customer for close to six years. Since 2010, my boss has been slowly taking away responsibilities from me and promoting a junior with whom he has worked on past projects. The customer has also been informed, as per my understanding, that the new person will gradually assume all responsibilities. It's only me to whom the boss has not provided updates and has remained silent. When I tried to address this issue, he dismissed it as a non-issue and mentioned that he is trying to make my life easier. The customers have tremendous respect for my work and have appreciated the way I handle projects. For critical and complex projects, they specifically request me to manage them from start to finish. With my parents' blessings, I have successfully executed all projects to date.

I have been with this organization for nearly 10 years, and for the past two years, it has been distressing to see how I have been excluded from main discussions by my Indian boss. He has recommended the promotion of new team members who are junior to me and did not initiate mine on time (I discovered from HR that my initiation was delayed), despite the boss repeatedly telling me he had already initiated it. I have taken steps to transition out of the account and work from India. However, I find it challenging to openly discuss this with HR, as my boss has a strong rapport with them, and they may inform him before fully hearing me out. Is there a way I can raise this issue to senior management without remaining silent? I feel hurt and betrayed, considering the significant effort and hard work I have put into growing the company's business to assist this individual.

Dear Swaresh,

According to your problem, you can move to senior management. But before moving, you must know if they are aware of you as an employee. In big companies, there are times when senior management is not aware of all employees. In such cases, they may only listen to the top layers.

You can approach your senior management or anyone whom you feel is trustworthy. If this has been happening for the past two years only, then you need to analyze why it has happened to you specifically. Perhaps somewhere you also went wrong; think about it.

Regards,
Mitali

Navigating Workplace Challenges: Change or Adapt?

If you can, then change your job. If you can't, then follow the advice on motivation, how to improve performance, 100 tips, 1000 examples, etc. Reading such advice and implementing it, while thinking that things have changed, might help you navigate your remaining days until you retire.

Mind you, when someone advises you to look for a better job, HR gurus might say, "Don't run away." However, remember that thinking about one's well-being is not running away from job problems. Changing for the better is sometimes necessary to survive in the politics of work life.

Regards

Once you lose the support of the boss, it's time to move on. However, if his bosses know about you and you can gain their support, it's a different matter.

If the company that you did the project for is happy, then there may be a chance to get permanent employment with them. I know of a few cases in the UK where people from India who came to do projects were absorbed by the companies.

Best wishes,
Simhan
A retired academic in the UK

Unrecognized Efforts in Organizations

It happens in organizations. Sometimes, sincere and hardworking individuals are unrecognized or unrewarded, while some unscrupulous, apple-polishing elements are disproportionately promoted or encouraged. This is a sign of unhealthiness within HR. HR should introspect with the concerned individuals on specific grievances of employees to address issues promptly. Unfortunately, this is not happening.

If you find yourself sidelined for an extended period, it would be wise to consider seeking a better job opportunity. An individual cannot effectively fight against an organization for the injustices they have faced.

Dear Swaresh, It's lagging on the part of HR that they must look after the same, as this may be a usual practice; otherwise, don't get surprised. It happens in corporate culture every now and then, although I am not the right one to comment upon International Work Culture.

But being the Indian boss, favoritism may have arisen. Therefore, since you are right in your opinion and intention as well, just move ahead and talk with HR and discuss with senior management too. At least by doing so, you are not going to lose anything.

Do mind that you talk at the right time, in the right tone, with the right words! The impact is certainly going to be there. Before you discuss it with them with patience, just ponder upon the past events so that you can well frame your conversation well in advance and explain the same to them with examples, as they may ask you why didn't you turn up in the past two years.

In the end, just do it with full belief that whatever happens, happens for the best. And as you said, do remember your parents' blessings are always protecting you, and this will turn out to be beautiful too, as it's not the end if it's not beautiful.

Do keep us updated about the same.

Regards, MK

Thank you all for your responses. I am thankful for all the encouraging and kind responses and best wishes. It looks like I am on the right path to move forward.

As a few of you rightly pointed out, it is necessary for someone in senior management to know about me as a person before I approach them. I will definitely ensure the same; otherwise, I agree the effort will be futile. The two posts at the beginning mentioned that I need to ponder if something was wrong with me and why I was the only one singled out. I did, and since everything was going well and all targets were met as planned, I was surprised. Even if something was not right, it should have been openly discussed with me. But instead, the game was and is being silently played behind my back.

I also spoke to past colleagues who had worked with this individual. According to them, though my boss may seem charming and a sweet talker outwardly, he prefers people who continue to engage with him even after office hours on a personal level. I am someone who values family time after work and avoids excessive flattery after hours. There also seems to be an element of regional bias, as per former employees. As someone rightly pointed out, and I agree, it is definitely a mistake on the part of HR.

The onsite HR of this IT major seems to be aligned with the senior management team. Complaints or grievances against a manager do not go to their supervisor but directly to them as a personal and confidential note. The HR also does not engage with us one-on-one. They only visit us at social events or forums since it is mandated.

Anyway, I will move forward and, if possible, try to escalate this matter in an appropriate manner.

Thanks again.

10 years is a long time, and I'll be very surprised if there is no one in senior management who is not aware of the work you have done. Escalation is a solution I won't ponder much upon, as once such things are escalated and your boss eventually comes to know of it, then what? He will not change, not so soon.

Moving on is a right option, as suggested by many members here. Sometimes it is advisable just to carry on without much. In such organizations, HR is only utilized for hiring and exit formalities, and that's all. They make formats and ask people to fill in, and their work is done. Because of such HR professionals, the whole fraternity suffers from stereotyped notions.

All the best, Swaresh.

Regards,

Analyzing the Scenario

Possibility-1: The senior management already knows what your boss is doing, possibly as a cost-cutting measure. Maybe your boss proposed having "his guy" do the same work at a lower cost, which could improve performance metrics. I hope you understand what I mean.

Possibility-2: The senior management is unaware, as some have suggested, and your boss is engaging in his own politics.

Possibility-3: The senior management is aware of your boss's actions but remains silent, perhaps valuing your boss's contributions to the company more than yours.

I have observed all three possibilities in large IT companies.

Your Plan of Action (PoA)

What you need to do is within your control, not what your boss does or doesn't do. Please confirm if you are on an H1-B or another visa, as this could significantly impact your options.

If you are on an H1-B, I suggest a multi-pronged approach: escalate the matter within the company, given your long tenure and emotional ties, and simultaneously seek alternative opportunities within the USA. Since you haven't mentioned your skillset, I'm unsure if it's in demand in the USA, but you would know best.

Considering the Client

If your rapport with the client is excellent and confidential, explore the possibility of being absorbed there. Consider the agreement they have with your company, even if there's a chance of this happening.

If that's not possible, your client could at least provide valuable referrals, which are crucial in the USA.

Returning to India

Returning to India is your choice, but your company doesn't need to know about it. Those in the IT industry understand that this step involves more than just changing jobs. That's why I mentioned "to begin with" earlier. If the company learns you're seeking a change within the USA, they might take you more seriously, especially if Possibility-2 is the reality.

As of now, that's all I can think of. If I've missed any aspects that may affect your case, please let me know.

Regards,
TS

I would do the following: Talk to the boss by telling him you are feeling sidelined and demotivated. From what you say, it's clearly a game, but he must make it clear.

Leave the company ASAP. I wouldn't consider escalation as an option. Two years is a long time for 'stories' to accumulate... If you want to fight, though, don't resign; rather give it a try. But it would be wiser to quit because you might lose a good reference through confrontation... And it may not be worth the risk unless your adrenaline on principles is very high. 

I forgot to mention, I believe in the US, the notice period is not more than two weeks. As an expat, you could resign and use your two weeks' leave. It's better to be to the point, especially for safeguarding your references.

Can you recall an instance that ticked off your boss? Why is your boss favoring your junior? Did you commit any blunders? If you still can't come up with any answers, then do as all have suggested: move on. By the way, is there a possibility of restructuring where you can report to another boss? All the best.

Regards

From the way you have put it, it appears you are going through a tough time. If I may ask, is your boss truly trying to sideline you? Do you fully believe in whatever your customer tells you? How has your relationship been with your boss before and now? What would have made him change his opinion now, if there is any change? Do you believe that the junior guy is performing better than you in terms of efficiency? Isn't your boss trying to build capacity in junior guys as a means of succession planning? Isn't your job indispensable? Have you ever failed in your duties, and why?

Try asking the above few questions. If you still feel you are being sidelined, perhaps it is good to speak to your boss. Be soft and put your point straight. Tell him your feelings. Don't confront or pick up an argument with your boss. As far as I am concerned, confrontation will be my last resort. After having exhausted all means to come to the expected normal situation, you may escalate the matter to higher management.

Even after having done all you could do, and if there is no change in the way he handles you, perhaps an exit may be the right approach. No matter how high your pay is, no matter how hard you work, if you have strained your relations with your boss and colleagues, then you would not enjoy working.

Meanwhile, please keep up and cheers!

Regards,
Dorji

Though it may sound strange, I underwent a similar situation. I am from an engineering manufacturing industry in India, working in the company for the last 10 years. For the last 2 years, I faced a similar situation. I felt I should not give up and fought it out. I apprised the senior management but found out that they actually knew about it. Finally, I managed to get a good job and tendered my resignation. Post-resignation, management is negotiating to keep me back with offerings for a pay hike and promotion. Think over it again and try to find a good job in the US itself.

Best of luck,
S.L.

I can understand your situation because I have faced similar circumstances in my three-year career. As per human tendency, we often opt for solutions without exploring all the possibilities. Job change is just one option. I encourage everyone to stand up and fight for their rights. Our legal system offers many processes that can assist us, but the first step is to motivate ourselves. I believe that once we have the support of a good HR team, we can consider our options. There is no benefit in maintaining our status as responsible employees and literate individuals without taking action. If you are fulfilling your duties, why not inquire about your rights, even if you are still employed by the same company? Begin gathering evidence of your hard work, which can serve as a trump card when presenting your case to top management. Quietly pave your path because your efforts should not be in vain. Always remember, we must be part of the system to bring about change.

And remember, you are still a part of the system.

Navigating Office Politics

These kinds of politics exist in every company. It is clear that your boss is playing games to remove you from the system. My dear, it is time to look outside of your company and join another company.

Regards.

Self-Reflection and Career Decisions

Introspect. Find out what more you can do and how much more you can contribute. If you still feel that you are being sidelined, look for a change of job without any further delay. These days, it is not wrong to shift. It could be that your current boss does not want a senior person to do the sort of work, and he is giving you an indication to that effect. You can even discuss this openly with your boss. Wish you all good. God bless you.

Regards

This is quite an intricate issue as it propagates internal politics within the hierarchy in your organization. I concur with the other respondents that certain elements are aware of what is happening in terms of eliminating you from the structure.

I am not quite familiar with labor legislation for your country, but I believe that in any corporate environment, fairness must prevail, which is largely engrossed in our South African Labor Legislation, whereby avenues of dispute resolution are availed for such predicaments.

A quick solution is to put yourself in the market, and with the experience you possess, you can walk into any institution without fear of failure.

Each and every piece of advice in this discussion has valid points. So, start looking for other options, or rather I should say "better opportunities." Once you have found one, you can go ahead and share your problem with the HR team or senior management. If you find their and the current boss's reactions becoming even more adverse, you need not fear as you will already have another offer by then and will be in a position to move forward in your career.

Regards,
Pooja Saha

Addressing Workplace Challenges with Your Boss

Why don't you get an appointment to speak to your boss? Have you ever done it? Instead of blaming him, why don't you challenge him with your professionalism, passion, simplicity, etc.? There may be many reasons for him not to support you. One of those reasons may be that you are a threat to him (you are smarter than him).

During your conversation, allow him to understand that you are a supportive subordinate. When the ego breaks, he will realize that you are trustworthy and may start appreciating you more than before, if there are any other motivations behind his behavior. However, never let your humility compromise your dignity. Love can conquer the world, but hatred will only harm you. Think positively of your boss and yourself. If you do this, at least he will not try to retain you if you decide to leave the company. Change the company when you are excelling, not in a desperate situation.

All the best.

Regards,
Johny Joseph.

Dear Mr. Shetty,

Your plight is genuine. Working abroad for a 10-year stint in the same organization and successfully managing client issues, you are now reflecting on the difference of opinion between you and the "BOSS" (certainly it is dormant, and now you have been feeling about it).

I have been working abroad and responsible for multiple countries, locations, divisions, and projects as Group HRM. I have personally come across such issues as others have handled in this forum, but I have counter questions for you:

1. During the last 10 years, how was your track record with the current boss and his predecessors?

2. How was your leverage/presentations in business meetings to senior management? You must have been going through this for at least the last 7 years. Do you have records of high performance and awards won during the last 5 years to substantiate your "personal preference" among peers and known to seniors of your boss too?

3. As you said, you must have had an opportunity to represent the department's performance, team performance, or project progress to seniors of your boss as well. They must know you as a person who has been around for more than 9 years. What about a long service award?

4. To what degree do you have confidence that HR has been the puppet of all seniors/leaders in your organization, or have you heard from others and accepted? Yes, many HR team members do not initiate actions until they are comfortable with information/statistics or analyses, as well as their compatibility with their seniors to report such things. Perhaps your HR must be like that, and you have not indirectly discussed with your HR to testify their mettle for such cases. Even though you have not been considered for increases/promotions, and juniors are recommended. Either your performance has slipped the bar scale as per your internal performance criteria, or you are not clearly aware. Or your clients have silently complained against you, and you have not been aware. Many people "QUIT" without even discussing with appropriate HR intervention and blame the ineffectiveness of HR.

5. I strongly suggest that if you have been an "ASSIDUOUS PERFORMER" and have been very confident in your client relations/problem-solving skills, please relook at the work done, make a summary, and just briefly present it to your boss in the most lucid manner. Avoid arguments or confrontations. Just assess the reflections and build further actions/dialogues. Do not make any hasty moves. Decide based on what you feel after such deliberations. Remember, "If you refuse to accept none other than the best, you often get it."

Best wishes,
N N S Vyas

Hi there, I just can't believe that even after working for 10 years in a company, your boss is treating you this way. You are now well experienced, my friend. If you decide to move on and approach a new job, companies will definitely want to hire you. Don't continue in a job where you are not happy, especially with so much experience under your belt. Move on, explore new opportunities, open your eyes... there are many companies out there looking for experienced professionals like yourself. I wish you all the best.

Dear Mr. Shetty and All,

Everyone has contributed their best points to the problem raised by Mr. Shetty. I just want to add one or two lines from my personal experience.

1. The worst happens to us when there is more light waiting for us!

2. The light could be in the same organization waiting for you - take a chance to speak to your boss and appraise him. Get to know what is wrong, what went wrong, what the expectations are, if you failed, if there is anything else expected, and assure that you will try hard to meet them. See if there could be encouragement.

3. If the outcome is biased and not in your favor even after your sincere efforts, I think that is not the place you are required anymore. Look for a change - do not look back and keep worrying!

4. Your services and talents have become useless (even if you have more talents). So do not regret; look for a change.

5. Be confident in your abilities. You are required at some other place for a better position and remuneration!

6. Grab this opportunity to show your might at some other place!

7. It is a boon in disguise.

8. Do not blame the company; thank it for giving you a wonderful time and space to explore.

9. Do not even blame the people for they gave you the opportunity to introspect and get out to see your larger potential!

10. Do not be with people having mean mentalities and those who play politics at work and play with your life.

11. Quit the current company as early as possible if the situation is not favorable. All the best for a double or triple salary with a higher position and the best encouragement!

For your information, I left a large engineering company after 24 years of experience in secretarial and HR fields and joined a Japanese company a few months ago when I reached a situation like you! So you are not alone in this world!

Life is calling you! Just move out and see the wider world!

Good luck and all the best,

Regards,
K. Ramachandra
Bangalore

Interesting insights. However, this is a typical situation regarding 'tensions' in organizations. Most times, HR personnel will have to act alongside management. Some countries with stringent labor legislation have proactive HR personnel, but India is certainly not one of them (at least in my view).

You are moving on as you said. But I often wonder how one interprets the many possibilities. People talk about escalating the matter, bringing in HR, etc. Often, a third person will 'try to resolve'... It's like two kids fighting, and the parents interfere, telling them, "Hey, stop fighting!" Rather than immediately 'directing change,' such as saying, "Hey, you, go and do something else, and you, go and do something else..." The former situation is rather tricky and dangerous. The latter situation is the better bet, but one is hesitant to take 'drastic' measures that are only reasonable in such cases.

It's a phenomenon where you will be pushed down the food chain rather slowly, so you will gradually experience a downslide. The best way: Move out and move up!

I am open to hearing views and cases where it worked, but I am not sure the case was fully replicated in the situations where success was mentioned... Or did I misunderstand? I don't know.

Dear Nikhil S Gurjar, I think you have not mistaken and have rightly analyzed the issue. Your following point gives the answer to the questioner and reflects my view above:

"It's a phenomenon, you will be pushed down the food chain, rather slowly... So, you will slowly experience a downslide. The best way: Move out and move up!!!"

Regards,
K. Ramachandra

First, while I don't want to be overly negative, it appears that your supervisor is disenchanted with you—from your point of view—or you are disenchanted with him/her. Do you remember the event that may have occurred that may have brought on this change? I do not always think that managers are correct or manage the correct way. I also know that longevity of a career is not always an indication of solid performance, great interpersonal skills, or the necessity of promoting a person. Sometimes a person is not ready for a promotion for whatever reason.

For this person to take over your responsibilities, are you being moved to a different opportunity? Why are you being sidelined? Are you a contractor or a W2 Employee? I want you to think about your performance reviews. Have there been any discussions there? I'm concerned, from an HR standpoint, that you bring up nationality quite often. What do you think that has to do with the decision-making process? Otherwise, there seems to be handwriting on the wall of replacement movement.

Regards.