Are Gujarati Weddings Losing Their Cultural Essence? Let's Discuss the Shift Towards Silent Ceremonies

Dear Friends
What are your viewpoints.This is not only for Gujarti marriage but applicable for all of us.
Regards
*A new insight on the development of our culture and the emerging
generations' views on Hindu wedding ceremonies. **This article is copyright
to Rajubhai Pandya (*Hindupriest.org.uk <Hindu Priest Raju Pandya: Gujarati, Hindu Ceremony Wedding Maharaj>*).*
Are our Gujarati weddings heading towards a new approach?
Gujarati wedding have now taken a new approach. Young people want their
marriages to be performed in complete silence with a proper explanation in
English from the priest, during the ceremony.
Young couples who get married according to the Gujarati ceremony with their
partners of Hindu origin or of another denomination wish to understand their
wedding ceremony. They feel that if they are asked to participate in a
traditional Hindu wedding ceremony they deserve a full English explanation.
Sometimes even their parents are not able to offer a reasonable explanation
on the ceremony.

Do we attend the wedding ceremony for socializing?
Most of our Gujarati marriages are an event where 700 – 1000 people walk
about talking and socializing with loud Bollywood music heard while the
wedding is taking place. No one is taking any notice about what is happening
in the mandap during the ceremony, and to be honest, they don't care. It is
like a cattle market type atmosphere. It is no wonder our youngsters don't
go to Gujarati weddings as there is little for them to learn about our
culture and traditions.

At Gujarati weddings the Maharaj begins by asking everyone to remain silent
during the wedding. Within the first 10 minutes of the wedding around 7% of
the guests will go to the bar or go outside if it is a sunny day and have a
cigarette. They will talk about the advice they would like to give George
Bush if he was to ring them on resolving the Middle East issue.

The couple spend around £40 to £85 per person at their wedding, is it worth
having these guests on your wedding list, even if they are your friends and
family?
Other cultures have their wedding ceremonies carried out in silence and with
discipline. If our Gujarati people go to these weddings they will be at
their best behaviour. When it comes to our Gujarati weddings they will run a
mock.

Do we invite people for the wedding ceremony or are we in a race with the
last wedding we attended and blowing the valuable funds which could be spent
wisely for the better future of our children? Do we parents need to change
or bring the change?
Some of our middle aged members of the community are finding this difficult
to accept as they think by not sending the invitation to a friend or a
relative may bring an end to the relation. They want to meet friends and
socialize and have the variety of food.
Are we in a race of exhibiting of showing the highest numbers of invitees by
stretching our selves' financially? Do the parents have the time to meet and
greet all the invitees during the ceremony?

Can these unnecessary spending spent in a better way? May be to support our
children and their partners to build up their better future? Is it now the
right time to think!!!!!!
What do our today's youngsters want?
Youngsters have now set their minds on a new tradition where the ceremony
will be conducted in silence and the priest will explain in English to the
couple and the guests exactly what is taking place and why.

Our culture is in the hands of the young people, they will be taking it
forward into the next generation when we are not around. I say let them
dictate how they want their wedding to be carried out as it is one of the
most important days of their lives.
My support is completely with the young couples, if you want a beautiful
wedding that people will remember, get a priest who will explain in Gujarati
& English after all it's important to understand the vows and commitments
you are undertaking. We are simply asking our guests for approx 75mins of
their time to remain silent and witness the ceremony.

Costly venues are making it difficult to have weddings of thousands of
people. So, a small list of 200 friends and family who appreciate the wishes
of the young couple by remaining silent during the wedding are invited to
the wedding and the rest will have to settle for an invitation to the
reception, if they are lucky.

Guests who are finding it difficult to accept and ignore the wishes of the
young people will find their names missing from the wedding list. The
wedding lists for the guests and relatives are getting shorter.
*
Views presented in this article are purely those of the author - Rajubhai
Pandya.*

Dear Balaji,

Hindu weddings are a time to socialize too. Have you ever tried sitting without talking for 15 minutes? If Hindu weddings are like Christian weddings in a church or a civil wedding which finishes in 10 to 15 minutes, then people can sit quietly. Our daughter had a Hindu wedding in India, and people had been given the gist of what happens. Not all the mantras were translated. The mantras were in Sanskrit, which has its own beauty. The ceremony lasted over 2 hours. People were allowed to come and go as they pleased; some had their breakfast when the ritual was going on.

She had her wedding registered in the UK. Even during that time, during breaks in the proceeding people were allowed to talk to each other, and the Registrar cracked jokes, etc.

So, my view is each for himself or herself, and they can choose whether to invite, attend or not.

Have a nice day.

Simhan.

P.S.: Though I have replied to you, I wonder how it is relevant to HR!!

Thank you for your feedback. The question of spending money beyond one's capacity, lavish spending on unnecessary things, and wastage of food needs to be looked into.

Regards

I do agree; spending beyond a person's means is just not on. There were about 300 guests, including nearly 100 from the UK, for our daughter's wedding. Marriage is one of the occasions when relatives and friends meet and socialize. Sometimes, relatives whom we have not met for years can be encountered there. However, one has to limit the expenses. Compared to the past, now wedding functions finish in one or two days. There is no need to invite everyone for all the rituals/functions: pre-wedding function can be limited to the immediate family; the wedding function to relatives, and invite friends only for the reception. Or dispense with the reception function.

Isn't there a bigger issue of dowries?

Have a nice day.

Simhan

After careful investigation, I note this priest is based in the UK and is a local conservative councillor politician. He seems to be making positive but more often than not negative vibes in the Hindu Community. I do believe the writer of this article is basically trying to self-promote his viewpoint as a Hindu Priest. However, the sheer tone of his article seems to highlight that we all attend Hindu weddings to socialize. He is a priest, and the guests are not his arena to make a judgment. He might as well dictate his preferred caterer or photographer, which then opens up a whole variety of concerns if priests went beyond the role of carrying out the marriage of two souls.

Also, he brings up the issue and concerns of costs at a wedding. One should look within, for he is charging nearly £1,000 in the UK (1600 US Dollars) per wedding, which lasts approximately 2 hours for the main ceremony. If you want his extra services, then it's a further £500-£1000. So, my dear friend, are you a real Hindu priest concerned about Hindu values or merely looking at ways to take advantage of yourself as a Hindu Priest? I would turn the table around and say to our young couples getting married: do not hire this expensive, arrogant Hindu Priest / Conservative Councillor Raju Pandya because he will dig a big hole in your wedding budget. Have a nice Hindu temple priest who will not charge this much, and this will allow you to have another 100 more guests at the wedding!!

Have a great day as well.

Regards,
Raj Popat
London