Struggling with Career Growth Due to Personal Issues with My Boss – How Can I Move Forward?

Could anyone provide me with an idea to relieve myself from the following problem? My career growth is being hindered by issues with my boss. I had some personal problems with my boss two years ago, and since then, he has not been giving me good ratings despite my good performance.

Thank you.

When he is relatively free, sit with him and calmly explain your achievements. You can also ask him, "What are your shortcomings and problem areas from his viewpoint?" Additionally, use the opportunity to ask him, "What are your grey areas for improvement?"

It is always better to talk openly and frankly but with controlled emotions, rather than shouting or shedding tears. If you feel like it, you can also praise him as your role model, indicating that you are emulating him in your career.

Many bosses prefer their subordinates or team members to be free and frank in voicing their grievances directly, rather than hearing them through other sources in the office.

Best wishes,
NK Sundaram

Good day, the advice from Mr. Sundaram is very good. If you have already been through that, then there is no choice but to involve a third person, engage HR, and hold an open-minded meeting where you can resolve this at the earliest.

Thank you,

You have one more choice left. You can contact your boss's immediate superior, who in turn is your next superior, to intervene and resolve the issue.

Meeting to Resolve Issues

It is always advisable that the three of you meet across the table and sort out the issue. The problem is confined to your office and between two individuals. Hence, no outsider can help you in this respect. Further, it is advisable that you don't delay such issues and allow them to escalate.

Best wishes,
NK Sundaram

I agree with Sundaram. Involve HR or someone more senior than your immediate boss. Highlight your achievements from the last year so that you can demonstrate your capabilities against any negative feedback. All the best.

Mr. Sundaram has correctly suggested even the next step. I wonder about a couple of things.

How is Your Management?

- A Sensitive Management
- A Professional Management
- A Pro-active Management

What kind of organization do you work with: Government (where there is job security) or corporate? Is it big? Is transfer possible? A proactive management can help in transfer if it is feasible. I have seen quite a few instances of this kind even in corporates.

Involving HR or going upwards to your boss's superior is a good idea. However, such bosses maintain good relations with these personnel. Find out before escalating.

It is rightly said that People Do Not Leave Companies; People Leave Managers. 90% of Employees Leave Companies Because of Mental Harassment.

Is Your Boss a Bully?

Does he harass other employees working under him? Then you can think of a change in your Basic Approach:

1. Be the best in your job.
2. Be Assertive.
3. Bullies thrive on less assertive, highly emotional, and vulnerable people.
4. Think of Upfront Conversation; However, No Confrontation!

Keeping silent does harm, but confrontation does not help or would do more harm...

What Type of Job is It?

Keeping qualified data of your work can be helpful when the time comes. Is it possible to communicate through intra-mail with your boss to keep progress of work with cc upwards? Such communication over time becomes a solid document. Documentation of facts is important if one day you have to defend yourself, as repeated bad reports are bound to invite higher management into the picture someday.

Regards,
Dr. Ulhas Ganu

I think you have reached a stage where there is no compromise formula that works due to ego problems and a superiority complex in your boss, no matter how well you perform. You are also getting humiliated and feeling a career block. This will certainly reflect on your work sooner or later. Such ruthless people are not easily modifiable. Why put yourself in trouble for none of your fault? Remember "HARI SADU." You may consider requesting a transfer from your present assignment within the organization where your boss's interference is minimal or try to find a better job elsewhere.

You have 2 options here.

1st Option:

Make a list of your achievements for the last 2 years, from the beginning to the best, and relate it to how it has contributed to the company's benefits/progress. With this list, speak with your HR Manager, and then both of you can meet your boss to try to resolve the issue. In most cases, the issues get resolved immediately.

In some cases, the issue may not be resolved, and HR may support your boss due to their personal relations. In that case, your boss may continue to harass you, so you need to go with option 2.

Option 2:

Create minutes of the meeting you had with HR and your boss, attach it along with your achievements, and send an email to your top management while keeping HR and your boss in CC.

The bottom line is clear: if your boss treats you well, you are a part of his team. If he is acting smart and trying to ruin your growth, then make sure even he meets the same fate. You may not benefit from this, but at least he will learn a lesson.

All the best,

Prasad

You said that you have already discussed the matter with your boss, but how often have you done it? Even if you have already discussed the issue with your boss, please do it again and again. Just make sure that someone from HR or senior management knows that you are trying to resolve the issue related to your performance. No senior wants to be projected as a person who is not able to guide his/her juniors in the right direction.

Secondly, ask someone from HR to evaluate your performance for you. This way, you will also know what the real issue is. Third-party evaluation holds strong credentials in front of senior management.

Also, start looking for a job because no matter what you do, your actions are going to come back to haunt you in your future with the same organization.

Everybody seems to be driving Sethumanoharan to a point of humiliation. The measures suggested will harm his self-esteem, and he will lose his ability to work honestly with zeal. Why does an honest person have to beg for his modesty?

In the given situation, I reiterate my earlier suggestion of getting isolated from this dangerous man (his boss).

Understanding Performance Ratings

Most Important - please understand the rating given to you and evaluate whether the rating is correct.

Most common mistakes are: performance in the mind of many employees does not map to performance as defined by the organization. For example, a software company defines overall 7/7 performance for Senior Software Engineers (SSE) as those who create defect-free output (75%), show people leadership (20%), and contribute to the reusable library (5%). A 5/7 rating in each of these areas is set as the minimum criteria for promotion to Group Leader. An SSE whose outputs are typically 20% better than the rest of the team but does not progress on the other two items (people leadership and reusable library) will never be promoted.

Most other posts already comment sufficiently on what needs to be done in case you see that your boss has been unfair to you. Cheers.

Everyone has given strong suggestions to overcome challenges and make people aware of your contributions to the company in achieving goals. Before presenting yourself to the HR department to showcase your capabilities and accomplishments over the last two years, you should ask yourself if you are on the right track.

Understanding Human Behavior

Human behavior is very difficult to understand, and your boss is also human. My first question is: How can you recognize if your boss is undermining your career?

Dealing with Workplace Harassment

My second question is: If your boss has been harassing you for the past two years and not acknowledging your work, how can you claim, "I am performing well, but no one recognizes me"?

In conclusion, if your boss is jeopardizing your career, they would have let you go before you even realized it. Firstly, being under stress for the past two years can hinder your performance, and secondly, it can impact the group's overall performance.

From the above conclusion, it can be understood that your boss is not intentionally harming your career. If they were, you wouldn't have lasted for two years. Do you see my point?

Self-Improvement and Communication

However, the main issue lies within yourself. Rectify your attitude, work behavior, and approach towards work. Avoid getting involved in gossip, separate yourself from unprofessional conversations, and always maintain clear communication channels.

Don't point your index finger because your other four fingers are observing you.

My suggestion is to write an email directly to your boss instead of the HR department. Request a promotion or increment, highlighting your achievements over the past two years. This approach will surely help you.

Regards

Hopefully, you do not use the same approach when engaging with employees at your organization. Most of us do know and make an effort to stay informed about ongoing politics in the organization. There are many instances when performance evaluation becomes an opportunity, used blatantly by inexperienced individuals and very subtly by the politically savvy.

Addressing Unfair Treatment

Please read my earlier post, which will help you understand whether there is something genuinely unfair in the treatment given to you by your boss. If there is unfairness, please read the other posts that cover the ways in which the situation can be addressed. In any case, take action only after you have another job offer, whether it be confrontation, discussion with the level +1 boss, etc. If the boss is biased, then your career is essentially over, even if the past mistake is rectified.

Cheers!

Hi Agnyeya, my friend was also implicated in this kind of situation from May 2007 to September 2010. He came from an export house company and joined as an HR Executive in an infrastructure company. Initially, he was not a part of the HR team for his first 20 days. His seniors had assigned him a separate room and the most difficult tasks to complete. However, he managed to finish the tasks before the deadline, and as a result, he gained recognition from everyone.

After three years of dedicated service, he did not receive any salary increment or promotion, unlike his colleagues who were rewarded, recommended, and promoted to Senior Executive positions. He remained an HR Executive in the HR department, realizing that he was entangled in office politics. Nevertheless, his work ethic remained consistent. In October 2010, the management finally promoted him to Senior Executive HR, and further elevated him to Assistant Manager HR in January 2011.

Realizing that his excellent performance had gone unnoticed, in the last week of September 2010, he composed a humble letter to his department head, detailing his achievements and requesting a promotion and increment. The management acknowledged his letter and promptly promoted him to Senior Executive, and within three months, he was promoted to Assistant Manager.

This practical solution, dear, is something valuable that I have learned from my environment.

"My conclusion on the above question is: if your boss is playing with your career, he will dismiss you before you even realize it. Firstly, you have been under stress for the past two years, and when a person is trapped in stress, their performance tends to decline. Secondly, it affects the overall group performance.

From the above conclusion, you can understand that your boss is not playing with your career. If he were, you would not have survived for two years. Do you see my point?"

Vikash, my response regarding the existence of politics pertains specifically to this section of your post. This part suggests that the boss would have fired Mr. Sethu if he had been engaging in politics. I mentioned that many bosses engage in politics, leading to lower ratings, but they do not necessarily dismiss employees.

Please quit the company and search for a place where you can utilize your full potential and continue learning.

Thank you.

No solution is possible in the present case as suggested by Mr. Gurgar. Rather, it will be a waste of time and a loss of peace of mind. The two possible solutions are: (a) to pray for your boss to quit or (b) for you to quit. In the earlier case, it is uncertain. So, the only cogent solution is solution (b).

Think FAST and Act FAST.

If you quit your present job and joined a new big company with a good package and a suitable designation, and after 2 years, if you face the same problem there too, what will you do?

Suggestion for Addressing Workplace Issues

My suggestion is to sit with your boss and talk to him. Find out what he is expecting from you, how well you are performing the given tasks, and ask him directly about the areas you need to improve. Compare yourself with others in the organization who are in the same position or have the same salary. This may help you find some good insights.

All the best.

Regards,
Vishnu V Reddy
Sr. Executive - HR

You are mentioning that due to some personal problems 2 years ago, your boss is not giving you a good rating, which has led to a halt in your career growth. What kind of personal issues are you experiencing with your boss? Are they personal or related to company business or work? If they are personal, it may be better to consider finding another job elsewhere. If the issues are work-related, management typically gives priority to your boss unless proven otherwise based on the hierarchy of the organization. If you have been unable to resolve these personal problems with your boss in the last two years, whether they are genuine on your or his part, why are you still choosing to stay and work with him? Why have you not brought this matter to the attention of his immediate boss or the HR department, as appropriate?

I believe that in every organization, the HR department is available to address such cases to facilitate early resolution of issues. Engaging in a confrontation with your boss at work, especially when there are personal problems involved, may not build trust for someone in your position. In such circumstances, it might be advisable to seek a new job first and then resign from your current organization to avoid conflict with your current boss and to ensure a peaceful and improved work environment at your new workplace.

Regards