Dealing With Difficult People At Workplace

Respected Seniors,

Greetings!!

Kindly advise on how to handle situations where HOD's at very senior positions are not willing to adhere to HR policies and procedures. Also, since they are in the good books of Directors and CEOs and think that except for the Director and CEO, others have no importance. Do they have to be handled diplomatically (If yes, how) or sternly (if yes, how)? Kindly guide.

Warm Regards,

Hi Sashmita,

It purely depends on how your supervisor wants you to handle it. If your supervisor is not lenient, then you can have your supervisor or you email the HOD who is not complying with policies. Send a formal email with the policies and procedures mentioned and ask them to follow it as they will lead by example for others.

It's important to keep these things on record as you would have documented proof in case action needs to be taken against him later on. Also, you can email your supervisor with the details of non-compliance and ask for advice/next steps to be taken on email. This way, it will show that you have done your job, and later on, your boss can't put it on you, saying that you did not do your job well.

But in the scenario you have described, no action is taken towards the HOD. The political angle plays more importance; hence, if nothing works, just document by sending it to your supervisor and leave it at that.

Regards,
Priyanka

From the query, it appears that those HODs are senior to you in position. Also, you have not said how large your firm is and its structure. If your boss is of the same rank as those HODs, then he or she should be writing to them after consulting with his or her boss. One has to be diplomatic. Rather than tell them to toe the line, a letter should be sent explaining the dangers of not toeing the line, and a copy should be sent to their boss.

Have a nice day.

Simhan
A retired academic in the UK

Hi Sashmita,

I am glad you have brought a very nice topic for discussion in the community.

I understand the problem you have presented. In quite a number of organizations, a similar situation exists.

One problem with many organizations is that senior-level technical personnel are positioned first, and HR personnel, even at a far junior level, are recruited later. This creates a delicate situation for HR personnel, especially for communication with top management. Unless these HR personnel have the maturity, tact, and resourcefulness, it will be very difficult to keep sailing in these organizations. In such situations, we should have very good communication with the CEO and slowly build it up with the other directors also. We should have excellent communication skills in explaining the rationale of every policy and procedure. After all, HR is a service function. Rarely do we get CEOs like Jack Welch of GE who advocated the elevation of the HR functionary to the level of the Board in every organization. Until such a time, we have to be patient and persuasively work with the top management to convince them of the need to adhere to the policies and procedures.

Also, this problem is predominant in organizations with a small workforce. As the organization expands, the top management will start to realize that unless they are consistent in their policies and procedures, it will be very difficult for them to run the organization smoothly. Ultimately, they will have to face the music!

R. Sundararajan

Do you remember the last time you had a bad day because of a negative colleague? Or the time when you adjusted to the snide remarks by a coworker (with great difficulty, though)?

Cutthroat competition, office politics, stringent deadlines, unreasonable targets, long working hours, no vacations, discrimination, sexual harassment... the list of workplace woes is endless. And to make things worse is a cynical colleague who exudes negativity all the time. While these workplace blues are unconstrained, you can try and bring a change in how you deal with Mr./Ms. Miserable.

Avoid falling prey to the pessimist by these simple measures:

Don't get into a debate: Arguments lead to conflicts. It is human to react and argue to protest a point. However, in this situation, we need to control our behavior and responses. Don't let the snide remarks bother you. Deal with the matter firmly but nicely. Reacting to such negativity will hamper your inner peace. And in the end, it's about you not about them.

Avoid going public: Such miserable people are insecure about their demeanor. They say or do things to get attention – yours and others too. By confronting them in public, you are actually falling into their trap. Once you make the situation public, it will destroy all future possibilities of fixing it.

Lend a helping hand: Grumpy starts shouting in the morning, "I handle everything. I have no life after the office. I don't have any friends." Now, although it is difficult, try to get to the root cause of this outburst. The outburst suggests the person needs help in his work or someone with whom he can talk to. Take the onus to lend help. A simple, "Are you okay?" or "Can I share some of the workload?" can do wonders. He would never have expected someone to be so kind, as according to his perception people are least bothered about him. You could actually help him change.

Why is he negative? Not everyone can talk straight to the face; some people have a less eloquent way of expressing themselves. Allow them to express themselves freely and just let them be. Free speech will help you know them better and the cause of their negativity. Many times people are not negative, they are just perceived so. Instead of getting knocked out by his negativity, infuse your positivity in him.

Limit yourself: By now, you must have tried everything – a combination of politeness and a good dose of firmness and positivity. If nothing works, it is time to deal with the situation by staying aloof. Neither be supportive nor critical. Such people sap your energy and in turn your productivity. Reduce contact with them as much as possible.

Remember, you have a life after the office and a right to live it as you please. Your time is precious, don't let anyone spoil it.

Dear Ms. Sashmita,

I had understood from the information that I had acquired through various resources, including my experience, that "SIMPLICITY" is missing in those employees holding senior-most positions with decades of experience.

1) I believe either POWER or MONEY or KNOWLEDGE or SKILLS/TALENT or BACKGROUND SUPPORT is making senior employees develop and promote EGO. These employees know how to play the SAFE GAME and RETAIN (they know how to convince their boss, butter them up, and a lot more) their POST until they retire. However, whoever challenges or takes initiative to bring changes in them will cost him/her the job.

2) The greatness of an individual lies in his simplicity. Those employees who have embraced SIMPLICITY are the BEST LEADERS, blessed with multiple skills, and loved by all. Also, they maintain very LOW SELF-ESTEEM.

3) When your HOD'S are supported by DIRECTORS & CEO, you can't do anything. I suggest the practical solution "CHANGE SHOULD COME FROM TOP MANAGEMENT".

4) If you handle them diplomatically, you will become one among them as they want you to be like "what they are".

5) If you deal sternly, then it may cost you your job as they are in the good books of DIRECTORS & CEO.

If you really want to change them gradually, which is a time-consuming process, then I suggest you adopt a process where you need to let them know and differentiate between GOOD and BAD, ANGEL & DEVIL. They have to understand "what they are" and "what they are supposed to be". You need extensive knowledge, maturity, a lot of patience, positive mental/physical attitude (positive thinking and a lot more to deal with such people... Any time you may lose the whole game, but never let this moment happen...

It is not you who is going to change your HOD bit, it is they themselves who are going to change themselves... you are just going to help them embrace positive changes. GOOD LUCK...

With profound regards

The same situation in my experience. The first thing that you have to do is BE CALM. An open intent is something that will help you in immediate rapport building. Understand what he wants and act accordingly. Be proactive on his matters and come up with ideas, particularly when you have something to say NO. Say it very politically. Means never say yes, provided the support...

Dear Seniors,

I am thankful for your kind and positive response. To some extent, I am trying to remain calm and keep my views clear and documented through mail. As far as dealing with them, I am trying to be rational and calm. However, the body language they carry doesn't seem very positive towards me.

Thank you.

Regards, Sashmita

Dear Sashmita,

As you have not answered my questions, it is not easy for me to give any concrete advice. Hope everything works out as you wish. Have a nice day.

Simhan

Dear Sashmitha,

As per my observation, I would like to share my personal feelings on this particular topic (Dealing with difficult people at the workplace). To get the support from your HOD's, first try to know the reasons for not supporting you. Prepare a list of areas/processes like recruitment, compensation, joining, transfers, training, confirmation, hikes, performance evaluation, etc., and then observe the areas where the HODs are supporting you and where not.

Now, consolidate the data and ask for feedback for better improvements in the policy so that the HODs and CEO would mutually approve the policy. By this way, you will be working closely with your HODs, receiving their feedback, and making changes if approved. As the suggestions are taken from HODs, they have no alternative other than to support you.

Dear seniors, correct me if I am wrong.

Dear Amandeep,

Please pardon me if I have used your post, which is a cut and paste job of what Ankita Sethi wrote at Negativity matters, doesn't it as an example to appeal to members.

Please note that we should not cut/copy and paste what is available on the web or what is sent to us by email, without due credit.

Have a nice day.

Simhan
A retired academic in the UK.

"Do you remember the last time you had a bad day because of a negative colleague? Or the time when you adjusted to the snide remarks by a coworker (with great difficulty, though)?

Greetings!

As you have very rightly said, they are senior to me and hold good rapport. Our firm is mid-sized, and my boss is senior to the HODs. Although my boss is supportive and is aware of these things, he is relatively new to the organization. I do not want to be very harsh on such matters. Kindly advise.

Thanks & Regards, Sashmita

If your boss is not prepared to take action, there is very little you can do. Protocol in an organization requires instructions to follow downwards and across and never from a junior to a senior. If your boss is prepared for you to issue a note to say "As instructed by XXXXXX, you are kindly requested...", then you can issue it.

Have a nice day.

Simhan