The above practices are just opened on paper and closed on paper , only paper work gets done, you think all HR are doing the above mentioned work? seriously.if I tell you the truth you wont be able to face it, come down to reality... the HR knows good english and use excellent adjectives for their work
1) Building superior workplace is part of their corporate identity.
can you specify?
2) Take care of employees customers keep coming back.
you mean HR takes care of employees and customers keep comming back? aaaawwww is it paaasible..
3) Providing superior work-life value proposition.
doesnt the english look similar to point 1, SUPERIOR , SUPERIOR that was workplace this is work life value proposition....
4) Work – Personal life Balance
which company allows this, only on paper but in real i dont care finish this no matter even if you stay 24 hrs in office i dont care, coffee machine is full and working, so do ur work,,
5) Take time-off whenever it is necessary
take time off from work, ssshhh please do reality check how many companies do allow this...
6) Flexible Options
what you mean exactly by this?
7) Members not Employees.
what you mean exactly by this?
8) Employee Committee with genuine authority.
again some committe they will put employees and it will be their decision , but on paper its shown employee committee approve it etc etc etc...
9) Recreation/Social Services/Food.
i feel its mandatory when they make a person work 10 hrs a day...
10) Database for employee suggestions in implementation.
lolz
11) All relevant information available to all.(Sharing Information)
what would emp do with information,,, what exactly is the information useful to me?
12) Information sharing matrix.
again not clear, precise
13) Surveys for potential/new employess.
what survey,,,
14) Annual Employee survey.
again point 13 ,,,
15) Global infrastructure organization survey.
again survey,, why cant they combine point 13,14,15, ,,
16) Daily newsletter (start the day by reading this letter).
hahahaah HR will go online come to citehr go to humour section enjoy, and then search on net for some stuff copy paste it and make newsletter, for this copy pasting they want appreciation that they are doign excellent work...
17) Basic Moral of the day.
hahahaah HR will go online come to citehr go to humour section enjoy, and then search on net for some stuff copy paste it and make newsletter, for this copy pasting they want appreciation that they are doign excellent work...
18) Daily Birthdays.
yeah with more than 1000 employees there is probability that almost every day one will be having so same format greeting card, with name change ,, thats all HR will do? lolzzzz
19) Special Guest recognition.
guest, who where, when , how?????????
20) HR eye opener of the day.
HR should open their eyes, again it will be some material copy pasted from net...
21) Call privately & inform the issue (Integrity Hotline).
yeah call privately and hand over termination letter ,,,
22) Training or other discipline (Cross Training).
the employee does not have enuf time to do daily work, such work is given by HR , they give work of 2 persons to 1 person and in their own appraisal they mention that they managed manpower, and take extra incentive at the cost of employees health and time, but in the end whatever goes comes around, so ultimately the HR too will face the punishment for their sins,,,,
23) Running own business - Employee survey.
again survey,,, point 13 - 15 ???
24) Ownership of Business- Job rotation.
ek kaam to thik se karne nahi dete isme job bhi rotate karege kya? lolzzzzz
25) Training to learn multiple skills.
multiple skills = more work, mommy papa, gf am not coming home will come late in night as im multiskilled hr multikilled me ;(
26) Take care of employees. Employees take care of customers.
HR can skip employees so that they will work in peace why dont HR take care of customers directly anyways they just sit idle,, doing admin work, just name of HR andbig big plans on paper ;(
27) Reach the top brass.
that only HR does ,,
28) Open culture/caring environment.
explain precisely,,,
29) Focus on high performance.
Dear HR you will load employee with lots fo work and expect them to be multi skilled, do cross training and job rotation still give high performance ,any sensible person reading this will agree that these points are nothing but crap, still i know many HR are here who wont accept the truth,, they think they are god but only in their co, and not in citehr,,,,
30) Hiring the smartest people.
lolz then where are do dumb people like me go ;( ;( ;(
31) Directing them in Right Direction.
right right bus conductor tells this always even he is good HR ,,,
32) Create Cool, simple & yet highly efficient workforce.
again use of english, verbs , adjectives and what not ;(
33) Cross functional job rotation.
in some point it was mentioned that cross training and job rotation this is just combination like vada pav, and samosa ,,mmmm yummy to eat ;)
34) Good Problem solver.
2+2=5 ooops 4 ;(
35) Interested in working with people.
yeah working with people and not working the WORK given to HR ;(
36) Openness & transparency.
repeated som,ewhere i guessss
37) New recruits workstation – decorated with Balloons.
i remember my childhood during my birthday my parents used to decorate house with balloons ,, HR is my mommy ;*! , and after the party when they used to burst ballons i used to get afraid and cry ;(
38) Self defense techniques for women employees.
this already many gals of modern generation know, modern gals ;)
39) Work from home.
first let employees go home ;( then we will seeeeee
40) 2% profit given as performance incentives.
welll have a market survey of salary vs profit ratio in diff industries...
41) Professional support.
who HR will give professsional support lolzzzzz
42) Skill updating.
same thing so many points HR must have been english teacher,,,,
43) Social recognition & upward mobility.
WHAT is meaning of dis?
44) Small warm gestures.
WHAT is meaning of dis?
45) Same travel benefits across all positions.
same LTA, LTC???
46) Annual Organization climate survey (Rating Boss).
rating boss yeah , boss holding sword in one hand over my head and asking me to rate lolzzzzz who wnats to be sacrificed so my boss is best ;)
47) Buddy Programme.
ony HR buddies have programs ;(
4 i4 Teams – Ingenious, Idea, Incubation & Implementation (Generate new ideas & implement them).
new idea, get an idea, what an idea sirji ;)
49) Encouraging social services.
torture employees on weekends to do social service, HR will laze whole week in office and on weekend take employee to social service , and get good pet on back from mgmt...
50) Early Breaks, Good training, caring employer.
caring emplr ;) (
51) Workshops to explore strengths, weakness, dreams & aspirations.
enuf is enuf
52) Chairman Tea/President Tea - Managers Sharing Feedback.
enuf is enuf
53) High performers- 200 % of Target Bonus.
by the time you perform upto the expectation of HR you wud be in ICU coz of stress u will get target bonus 200% but the medical expense wud be 2000% of what u got ;(
54) Paid leave for social services.
you mean my sat , sun wud be paid lollllllllllzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz torture by HR
55) Breakfast meeting with top management.
first tea, then BF , then lunch then dinner ;)
56) Vacation donation program.
whts that
57) Stock options.
as a good investor always go by market research,,
58) Confirmed employees from the first day of joining.
lolzzz then y the probation, training period JOKING ah,,
59) Baby’s day out – New mothers work alongside with babies.
hah on a normal day IT security wont allow even coffee cup for employee on workplace n copy pasted from baby day out, that new mom will be taking care of baby and work will be done by other emp and baby cry whole office disturbed, all babies cry people ask? is this office or day care > LOLZZZZZ
60) Reduced work hours Half day/Half work week for New Mothers.
and stress load the other employeees????????????? ;(
61) Mandatory training hours- Any field of interest.
again torture for training, first give me less work,, then speak abt training,, even a child takes 9 months to be born , u give training, skilling, job rotation all stuff at one time n make emp dead ;(
62) Internal Promotions – Non mgmt to top management position.
mm im dreaming
63) Knowledge sharing sessions.
WHERE IS THE TIME?
64) Recognize employee achievements.
hah just again using emp hardwork for their benefit hr so cunning like foxxxx
65) Individual learning plans.
repeat
66) CSR leave for 5 days for employees.
im tireed of typing ,,, wish this computer cld read my mind n typeee
67) 100 % Reimbursement of Tuition fees/examination fees for employee professional development.
im tireed of typing ,,, wish this computer cld read my mind n typeee
68) Idea works/encash program – awards for better ideas/suggestions.
im tireed of typing ,,, wish this computer cld read my mind n typeee
69) HR team available 24X 7 on emergency situations.
im tireed of typing ,,, wish this computer cld read my mind n typeee
70) 30- Week management program in NMIMS for young managers
im tireed of typing ,,, wish this computer cld read my mind n typeee.
71) 5 days compulsory annual leave.
im tireed of typing ,,, wish this computer cld read my mind n typeee
72) Value addition meetings between employee & management.
im tireed of typing ,,, wish this computer cld read my mind n typeee
73) Tell me box (CEO) Tell 3 things that work for them & 3 things that not work for them.
im tireed of typing ,,, wish this computer cld read my mind n typeee
74) Five day a week work policy.
im tireed of typing ,,, wish this computer cld read my mind n typeee
75) Fast Track programme for promoting middle managers.
im tireed of typing ,,, wish this computer cld read my mind n typeee
76) Leave work on time, flexibility to work part time as per requirement.
im tireed of typing ,,, wish this computer cld read my mind n typeee
77) Only 10 unutilized allowed to carry forward to next year.
Why some organisation allow as much as 150 - 300 this is harassment of emp,,
78) Encourage to spend time with family.
what a joke ,, big joke hr big joke wish your PC / LAPTOP catches fire so many lies,
79) Leadership programme for young managers. (Wharton & London business school)
80) Health café, yoga classes. Stress management.
81) Flat leave structure, restricted work structure & timings (System Shutdown after 7PM).
DONT JOKE COKE
82) Flexi working hours.
again repeata
83) Foreign trips for spouses.
84) Employee referred as “Members”, Department referred as “Groups”.
so what,, change of name>?
85) Share your concerns.
86) Home away home. Reach out family in all day to day happenings.
87) Foreign Language Allowance (100 % fees).
88) New Joinees – Personally welcomed by MD.
89) Paternity Leave, Birthday/Anniversary leave.
90) Compassionate leave.
91) Fun at work & freedom at work.
92) Open Door & Transport Policy.
93) Crèche for working mothers.
94) Behavioural Training programme.
95) Sense of security/Family taken care.
96) No Attendance.
wtf?????
97) Freedom to Experiment.
wanna send a rocket to moon can i plz >?
98) 2 year sabbatical leave for higher studies.
dont joke ;( fr 1 day leave so much torture ;( n talking for 2 yrs oh godddddd
99) New Joinees welcomed with flower bouquet.
surely if its gal then a whole rose bouquet ;) mmmmmmm
100) Inform & Communicate in Transparent manner.( Trust & Transparency )
101) Employees Calculate bonus on their own.
and HR cancels it and gives whatever they wish,,,
102) Senior Executives – No Attendance/Unlimited leaves.
COME ON DONT JOKE ;) so many JOKES i gonna die ;(
103) Decide where, when & how their work to be done. Flexible to people’s needs.
104) Creating new roles for prospective/potential candidates.
105) Workshops for parents.
106) HR Policies evolved keeping local people in mind.
107) Working beyond revenues.
108) Intellectual Stimulation/Variety weighs in decision for new projects.
i am so tired going to sleep now,,, plz dont delete post, i know u cant handle truth but let me see how many TRUE HB are here i mean thinking human beings