Feeling Stuck with an Uninvolved Boss Who Threatens Your Job – How Do You Cope?

My boss is not active in his business. He is around 58 years old. He tells me that I am not doing my job properly, but he is never interested in what is going on in the business or in his office between his 15- to 20-year-old staff who are playing cards all the time on the computer. To make a long story short, he threatened me by saying that he will not assign me any work in the future. Maybe this is the indication of a fire. I don't know what is going on in his mind. I have been with this company for 1.5 years and have put my heart and soul into it. Please let me know how I can deal with him. Did he have the right to swear at me like that?

Hi Ameeta,

I am so sorry to hear about the way your boss has been treating you. On the other hand, it's evident that you have been working with him for 1.5 years, which is a good span of time to get to know your boss. If he believes that you were not doing your job properly, even though you think you have performed well, it might be beneficial to set aside your ego and apologize to him. This will help you understand the basis of his conclusion and your potential shortcomings.

There are two possibilities here: either he has a wrong impression of you, in which case you should clarify by highlighting your accomplishments during your time at the company, or he may not be aware of your dedication to your work. In the latter case, you can assure him by committing to reporting to him on a daily basis, keeping him updated on your daily tasks and demonstrating your commitment. It's also important to investigate if any office politics are at play. Building your boss's confidence in you should be your top priority, as everything else will fall into place once that is established.

If your boss has mentioned that he will not assign you any work in the future, there must be a reason behind this decision. Take the initiative to find out the reason. If it is indeed a mistake on your part, take steps to rectify it and approach your boss to assure him that it won't happen again. On the other hand, if he is mistaken and has formed a wrong perception of you, it's crucial to prove otherwise. Communication is key in resolving these issues, so always be clear in your words and actions. If things don't improve, it may be time to start looking for a new opportunity.

Good Luck.

- Babu

Dear Ameeta,

Please find my observations and suggestions attached below:

1. Your boss is a senior; hence, observe him accordingly. Identify his triggers. What makes him irritated? It's normal that he would not be very patient; understand what areas are making him so impatient.

2. Identify who his influencers are and what makes them leave an impact.

3. Work-wise, he may not be stating or defining his standards. But if it's his business, it's impossible that he is passive about it. Maybe he has professionally achieved what he had set out for. Identify them and acknowledge them. Make sure you add value to them.

4. He may not be at the emotional level to groom or mentor you. So work on it differently. Observe his business acumen. Complement them with actions. For example, if he is excellent at client communication, work on your own level and start maintaining similar standards in your communication.

5. Find out his professional journey, identify the landmarks, and acknowledge the effort he has made so far. When you start doing it, he will see your effort.

6. Remember, this is your effort to identify his strengths and his journey. Never judge him.

7. Above all, RESPECT him no matter how much he tests your patience. Please remember, when someone shouts, acts rash, never show any empathy, and exhibits many such distracting behaviors, they are merely asking for attention. Remain assertive, never lose your composure, RESPECT, and identify the behavioral cycle. Act accordingly. When he seems to lose his temper and shout, stay calm and acknowledge the area related to work. Stay focused at work and keep delivering on his parameters. Sooner or later, he would calm down. At that point, he would see the effort. This kind of supportive behavior will build the necessary trust with him. How do you think those other people have worked for 15-20 years? On top of that, they manage to survive by playing cards on the computer! It simply means they have identified his triggers, weighed, and delivered on the parameters that your boss counts. They even know his blind spots. That's why they are so relaxed. They know exactly what he is not prepared for and how to present it to him. If I am not wrong, they never show him that they are scared. Sometimes, strong people get very upset to see others being scared of them. They feel uncomfortable and reflect it by acting aggressively. Observe these team members; I am sure they act appropriately and follow the behavioral cycle of your boss.

8. This is your best opportunity to learn. He is a godsend chance for you to learn how to deal with difficult people. Remember, he is still a senior man whom you would find easy to respect. How would you deal with similarly difficult team members and other employees, who might be vital to your revenue but impossible to handle? You have to be far more mature and balanced where you have no room to make an error.

9. Decide on your takeaways. The fact that you would decide what you wish to learn from this environment before you move on to the next will help you to stand for yourself. Don't worry, if God has put you into this situation, you are the best one to handle it. Probably in the years to come, you would find this was your goldmine. So do not give up; use this situation to prepare the best for the days to come.

Think about it. Blog your journey so that we can contribute to your strength. Wish you all the best!

Regards,
(Cite Contribution)

ameeta.mefcom wrote:
"My boss is not active in his business. He is around 58 years old. He tells me that I am not doing my job properly but he is never interested in what is going on in the business or in his office between his 15-20-year-old staff who are playing cards all the time on the computer. To make a long story short, he threatened me by saying that he will not assign me any work in the future. Maybe this is the indication of fire. I don't know what is going on in his mind. I have been with this company for 1.5 years and have put my heart and soul into it. Please let me know how I can deal with him... Did he have the right to swear at me like that?"

I sincerely appreciate the responses from beauty_babu and (Cite Contribution); it shows their maturity, understanding of life situations, people around us; and how to deal with them/such issues in the 'right' way.

I think, it would be of particular significance to the young HR professionals, if they shed their own egos and look at the 'problems' they are facing, objectively and 'dispassionately' - without getting/feeling 'hurt'. The feeling of 'hurt', 'insult' and 'not getting appropriate credit (as perceived by oneself)' comes only when one involves one's ego.

Don't we all "accept" our parents and dear ones, despite being aware of their 'shortcomings'? This is because we understand they 'belong to us' inasmuch as we 'belong to them'.

Dear Ameeta, I do understand your agony and sense of bewilderment; but still I say this: once you start treating him as 'your' boss in spirit and actions; you will see "change" happening. This new perspective of looking at things will not only make your problems evaporate; they will also make him a better person in the long run (and that is real Human Resource Development).

You are young, and have a long way to go in life. Do think over these responses calmly, to find if they make good sense to you. Do feel free to revert back, in case you need further assistance or clarification.

Warm regards.

Hi Ameeta,

Speak to your boss and try to understand whether "I am not doing my job properly" is a fact or just a perception. If you are confident that you are doing your work properly, try to convince your boss. Better not to compare others' performance with your issues and let them play cards or sleep in the office (why should you care if you are not in charge of discipline or HR).

Try to understand your strengths and shortcomings, particularly something which is influencing/affecting the assigned area of work. Be assertive, empathetic, show reasonable patience but never act like a slave. I think you should not waste time doing R&D on finding the mood swings in your boss; change your character to compromise with the boss's misbehavior (if any). Also, keep in mind that your current organization is not the 'end of the world.'

If your boss continues to be arrogant after all these efforts and says that you will be sidelined without any work, plan for a change in job. Prepare your resume, improve networks, find a better job, bag a good offer, and then hand in your resignation.

Dear Ms. Ameeta,

Whatever you have experienced, I have experienced the same. I know what I did for my ex-employer, but I didn't get what I was expecting in terms of my hard work, commitment, dedication, honesty, and sincerity. In the end, I resigned and took another job.

1) Do consider the positive suggestions from other members.
2) I suggest not to dwell on your current boss and his company because I was an employee, just like you are today.
3) We don't have the right to speak negatively about our boss and his company. Let him do whatever he wants. After all, he is the owner of his company or may own a certain percentage.
4) Be practical and practice positive thinking skills.
5) Please start looking for a new job.
6) Also, please refrain from speaking negatively about your current boss and his company, regardless of what they may be. In general, a complaining nature is not acceptable to many. The past should remain in the past.
7) Keep acquiring knowledge as much as you can and utilize available resources for job applications rather than resigning due to tension.
8) Think about your future, believe in yourself, your skills/talents, and move forward. It is you who has to decide your destiny; don't expect others to do it for you.

There is a lot more to tell you, but I sincerely don't wish to confuse you as your current state of mind may not accept new things unless you start sending positive signals to your brain. Ultimately, the outcome will be positive.

Wishing you good luck for your future.

With profound regards

I think you have to win your boss's attention and work hard to do that. People may have the wrong perception of us, so here work is not the only matter, but the human factor is quite important. Sit with him with his permission, discuss your work, and let him guide you if he can. Seek assistance even if it's not deemed worthy; that may satisfy his ego, which is present with all kinds of bosses. Discuss your work along with the surroundings of work; this may make it interesting for him to listen. If this ice-breaking does not work, then most probably you have to work hard to develop some other way of communication with him to bridge the gap of expectations. It might be daily reporting to him, follow-up of work, initiating new ideas, and a lot more.

Dear Ameeta,

I will not give you any particular advice, but I would suggest going through the responses calmly and then deciding, as the situation you are facing, you know it BEST. The suggestions offered are based only on the information you have provided, as we do not know the other side of the coin. Undoubtedly, the suggestions from seniors are valuable; however, I sincerely feel one should judge from their parameters, apply the mind before deciding on a course of action.

Best wishes.

Regards,
Vaishalee

Thank you, Mita, for your guidance. I agree with you, Vaishali. Actually, my boss wants to expand his business with the support of his son, but his son is not interested in the business. This is the only reason.

If his son is not interested in his dad's business, then in what way does that link to you? Is he showing that frustration to you? Can you be a bit clearer?

- Babu