Facing Harassment: How Do North Indians Cope with Challenges in South India?

Survival Challenges for North Indians in South India

Survival of a North Indian person in South India brings about many challenges. Among these, religious differences can lead to harassment and mental distress. Is this a serious issue? If so, to what extent does it affect individuals? What steps should one take to address this?

There has always been a dispute with South Indian employers regarding biased behavior. They often prefer to hire South Indian candidates and favor them in grievances over North Indian candidates. This has been noticed even in big MNCs and colleges today.

Even in my current organization, there are a few South Indians who frequently complain about us North Indians. Even my South Indian housemaid has this problem...  ... it's like an India-Pakistan fight.

So dear aahnapahwa, just be hardworking and reasonable in your approach. If you think you deserve something in your organization and are not getting it, go to the management and talk about it. I hope your HR and upper management are mature enough in their approach. Just ask them to be professional and educated in their approach.

Take care,
Shivani

It is true that North Indians face these problems in the South. I am also working in the South, and I too face the same problem as I don't understand their language. However, I started being friendly with them and began praising them for the work they have done. Gradually, I overcame the problem.

It is true that these people prefer South Indians over North ones. But there is always a middle way. We North Indians get frustrated due to their behavior, but we try to be cool, professional, and sometimes friendly as well. I have observed that if you praise their culture, they become very happy. It's important to appreciate things and try to understand them. It may be difficult at first, but it is not impossible.

Regards,
Swapnaja

It depends on the individual and the circumstances they undergo. There will be psychological thoughts; that's what I hope. So, it depends on the situation how you manage people. Whether it is north or south, you have to tackle people; just do not bother whether they are south or north. Even South Indians get angry or very cool in situations, and North Indians do too. Try to understand one thing: don't show partiality between north or south. Languages may be different, gods may be different, but we are all INDIANS. This is a public forum; some have posted as South India and North India look like India Vs. Pakistan, is it so? Who told us we are all brothers and sisters and INDIANS. Jaihind!

Regards,
Ramkishore

Hey, why don't you be practical and down to earth... just look at the situation here. There is somebody who is being harassed in his organization and comes to a public forum for help and to know others' experiences. He is being harassed so much that he has to go public with his emotions. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THIS? So instead of helping him out, all are getting emotional unnecessarily. Just be practical in your approach, okay! We have all seen how one Mumbai-INDIAN is fighting with Bihar-INDIAN, South-INDIAN with North-INDIAN, etc. YOU CANNOT IGNORE THESE realities. When one person makes life miserable for another person, then you have to look at the difficult situation and be judgmental rather than getting PHILOSOPHICAL AND EMOTIONAL. This is a professional world, sir. Just look at the reality and FIND OUT A SOLUTION rather than getting philosophical.

First of all, you need to get rid of your perception that everyone is gunning for you because you are a North Indian. Once this is taken care of, you need to understand why your colleagues are unhappy with you and how you can help them change their perception about 'you'.

I have not only worked in a multicultural organization in India but also abroad. Everywhere, people are slightly apprehensive about a newcomer, especially if they are from a different culture. Only time helps to accept each other. So, stop playing the culture card and creating a rift between North Indians and South Indians on a public forum.

In my view, the best way to overcome the problem is to have a face-to-face conversation with the individuals who are causing trouble. If they are found to be displaying clear regional bias, then they definitely require counseling from their respective HR department. However, before taking that step, I believe the person should analyze the entire scenario with a calm mind and determine whether what he or she is experiencing is actual harassment or just minor incidents being perceived in a personal manner. Viewing situations through the influenced words of others can prevent us from seeing the reality. It is better to examine the scenario in the right light and find a solution.

A kind word, a helping hand, and a friendly smile can elevate us to greater heights. If you have been implementing these three approaches and there is still no change in their behavior, then you can certainly escalate the matter to higher authorities. Otherwise, you might inadvertently cultivate more negativity towards you in their minds.

So, stay composed. A calm mind is always the key to success in any situation.

All the best.

Thanks & Regards,
Manju :)

Dear Shivani B,

With regards to the post you have shared, I replied that there is no difference between South Indian and North Indian. We speak different languages, and I mean I am not emotional at all. I feel we are in HR, and people differ from one another. Situations happen, and to overcome these barriers, if you are in HR and aiming to be successful, it is common to play a role that suits and adjusts to the situation. This may lead to stress or mental torture. I posted because there should not be any partiality between our fellow Indians, especially in this public forum. For example, consider what South Indians think when they go to North India – they search for South Indians and avoid talking to the Northerners. Similarly, when you go from Tamil Nadu to Bangalore, you search for Tamils. This situation exists everywhere. To overcome it, you should mingle with others so that you will be safe in your career and plan accordingly. This is my perception. And do not divide us into South, North, East, or West. We are all INDIANS. JAIHIND!

Regards,
Ramkishore

I was born down south but did my college, work, and all other things in the North. I lived most of my life in the North, having great experiences both good and bad. One thing we need to pay attention to here is that everyone respects his or her own culture, and culture comes with different attitudes, behaviors, beliefs, clothing, and practices.

South Indians are always harassed in the North, and vice versa, but that is an individual experience. Let us not generalize. Let us not use this forum to determine who is superior. We are here for a job, and that is our choice. We need to live and let live others.

As educated HR professionals dealing with people, let us open our eyes to a few realities and practice the good of it:

1. See the culture around and live accordingly.
2. Learn the language as there is no way we can survive with only one or two languages in India.
3. Respect the dress code of the place you have come to live.
4. Put yourself in others' shoes and see things from their perspective.
5. Ensure your fun does not hurt others' sentiments.
6. Avoid generalizing issues so we can address situations properly.
7. Be true to yourself in clothing and practices as you were in your own place.

If someone is religiously biased, it is their right. However, if they pressure others to follow or influence them, they are committing a crime. These types of people need to be handled carefully, as they can influence others and cause trouble for HR professionals. I worked in a Christian company where employees are Hindus and Muslims with different beliefs, yet we respect each other's festivals and traditions. Employees of other religions organize Christmas celebrations, and we reciprocate during their festivals.

As HR professionals, if we encounter religious intolerance, we have the right to counsel, escalate, or even issue a strict verbal warning if the person's behavior is unbearable and poses a threat to unity. In this developmental stage, sticking to one's religion and forcing it upon others is not acceptable.

I hope I have made my views clear. Just as an example, when our people go abroad, they strictly follow the rules, beliefs, and practices of the US, Australia, the UK, South Africa, Iran, and China. However, when they travel from south to north or vice versa in India, these principles are not always applied, and complaints arise. This is a serious issue to consider.

Every coin has two sides, and every issue does too.

I request you all not to start arguments regarding religion, caste, creed, South/North Indians, or nationality, as these topics are sensitive and can lead to misunderstandings.

Thank you,

Antony Prakash

Hi, thank you so much for your obvious words. I have tried all that you said. Even I tried learning their language, but they don't appreciate it and don't help me get through their language. They feel insecure. In this case, what should be the solution? I was given a choice for the east location and for the south location, I chose the south just because of this reason that I will learn some new language and be exposed to a new culture. I took it as a challenge, saying "let the difficulty see how difficult I am."

Understanding Cultural Challenges

If you go out of home, your neighbor will be a problem. If you go out of the village, other villagers will be a problem. If you go out of the district, other district residents will be a problem. If you go out of the state, others from that state, with their language, food habits, body language, customary behaviors, and lifestyle, will present challenges.

In Delhi offices, you will find that 85 to 90% of employees are from South India, while only 10 to 15% are from Delhi, Haryana, Rajasthan, Punjab, even though the employers are from North India. If you observe the Tamil and Telugu Cinema Industries, the majority of heroines are from the North. They have been successful by adopting Tamil and Telugu languages as their own, even though their mother tongues are different.

Embracing Challenges as Opportunities

In this world, the only place that does not have any problems is the graveyard, where departed souls rest in peace. Therefore, in your prayers, ask God to give you problems so that you can live your life, and ask for the strength to solve these problems too. Some people struggle with cholesterol due to overeating, while others struggle to earn their daily bread and livelihood.

Remember, all inconveniences are adventures when rightly considered. Be brave enough to tackle any hardship and overcome all problems. Be happy and enjoy life.

With warm regards,
Regards

I respect your emotion of oneness, the quote you said "We All Are Indians." However, I cannot ignore Shivani's perspective either. Once you come and live here for a while, it's really like Indo-Pak. Also, why must only we people think that we are all Indians? Aren't they Indians too? Can't these people also believe that we are all Indians? We should share our culture and make others feel comfortable in their place.

I do agree with your point. I don't mind Nasir Hussain playing for England. But just think, what if he was not allowed to play for the England team being an Indian? Similar is my case. I am ready and agree to accept their culture, their language, but they are not allowing me to do so. I thought they would be welcoming as they are Indians, not foreigners.

Thank you for your valuable quote. I did not feel emotional. What made me is that India and Pakistan are enemies. Shivani mentioned that South and North Indians are like that, but that is not true. As you said, everyone should have the attitude of saying that we are Indians because we are educated and born to educate them as an HR.

Thank you, Aahnapahwa, and special thanks to Shivani B as well.

Regards,
Ramkishore

Whoa! Why are we discussing regionalism-based difficulties? And why, oh why, did the post contain the word "harassment"? Come on, people... It is just a perception that needs a little revamping. We are all culturally educated professionals, and it is our duty at work [wherever we work] to put behind sourness and try to work as a unit, despite all the redundancies that come across. I hope we all understand subtle differences, accept them, and still try to contribute to our work area in one spirit: Coherence.

Regards

Understanding Cultural and Linguistic Challenges in India

This discussion can easily continue for decades. Being NEUTRAL & PROFESSIONAL, the following issues are important to understand.

1) People from North India have difficulties with Dravidian languages; it's genuinely challenging for them to comprehend. They are somewhat at ease with learning Bhojpuri, Bengali, and to some extent Marathi (I think they can understand it easily). Similarly, South Indians find it impossible to learn Hindi.

2) Due to centuries of influence from invaders over North India, both Hindu & Muslim cultures are different compared to the South.

3) People who have not traveled beyond 600 kilometers from their native place and stayed there for a year or two cannot be expected to understand the plight of someone who has come a long way from their native place.

Tips for Newcomers in a Different Cultural Environment

The newcomer, if in the initial stage of their career, will have their attention divided between making a career and balancing their social existence. Here are some tips from my experience:

- Be dedicated to your work and DO NOT lose focus on professional learning.
- Look for a couple of friendly people (they will be there); consult them for any help.
- Don't be aloof from the surrounding crowd; try learning a few words of their language. Speak publicly a few kind words in their language; it will bring you closer to their hearts.
- Initially, you may be afraid of being laughed at, but don't worry! Your superiors will at least know that you are trying to adjust to the different culture. Don't stop your efforts to learn the language and culture. YOU NEED NOT GET A GYANPEETH AWARD IN TAMIL/TELUGU/KANNADA. JUST KNOW A LITTLE BIT ESSENTIAL FOR HUMAN COMMUNICATION.
- If your colleagues are interested (and they are not used to watching Colors or Star+ TV channels), share a few things about your culture with them.
- Stay away from cultural & office politics even if there are efforts to drag you into it.
- MOST IMPORTANTLY, remember that you are here as an expert in your profession; not invited to feel depressed. Have genuine appreciation for a different culture that you are seeing for the first time. You cannot be forced to accept the local culture, but at the same time, you should not insult or hurt the people who believe in that culture.

ALL THE BEST