How Should I Handle Unwanted Gifts Left for a Female Employee at Work? Seeking Advice!

Hi,

I am working as an HR in a software company. I have a problem in my office; we have almost 200 employees working in the company, and we have both ladies and gentlemen. Someone has been leaving gifts at the place of a female employee for the past week. She did not bring it to our attention initially because she took it casually. However, as it is happening repeatedly, she has now informed me about it.

What should I do now? Should I report this to the management? We have CCTV cameras in our office, which the manager can use to identify the person and resolve the issue. Alternatively, should I handle this matter without involving the management?

Seniors, please help me solve this problem with your experience.

Handling Unwanted Gifts in the Workplace

Either let the lady or yourself take the gifts to your homes and enjoy! Alternatively, you can collect them and keep them as prizes for some employee welfare programs or appreciation awards. Keep collecting them until the person who sends them runs out of patience and resources.

Regards

I have read your message. I believe you should discuss the issue with your superior and investigate the reason behind receiving gifts daily.

You should bring this to the attention of management and request them to check the culprit through cameras. As an HR professional, it is your responsibility to maintain office decorum.

Regards,
Deepali

As you have CCTV cameras installed inside your office, you can monitor them to identify the person who is disturbing the female employee.

Hey, I don't suggest that. It may be possible that the person likes to propose to the lady.

Send an email circular to all and inform about the CCTV camera to the employees.

The person may be trying to impress her. Falling in love and gifting are not crimes. If she is married and receiving the gifts, then the person who is giving the gifts is doing something wrong, and, in my opinion, he should be asked to leave.

If you have received a complaint from an employee, you can take it to the management.

Hi,

Actually, every organization nowadays follows 5S, Kaizen, EMS, OHSAS, and QMS activities to make an organization world-class. Everything has its own place. Please ask the Admin Manager whether these activities are being conducted by the Admin Department for the company or without the knowledge of the Admin Department. If it is not within the knowledge of the Admin/Company, you may send an email communication to the Admin Department with a copy to your boss. This way, the right thing is done at the right time.

Don't be alarmed! With cheers!

Dear Swapna,

When the CCTV camera is working with you, there is no problem. Just create a rumor about who is responsible for this; management knows who it is, and they will take serious action against him very soon.

In every office, there are issues with females, but they always react boldly. As an HR professional, you should always be brave and bold because we represent the management.

Regards,
Vinay

This case borders on harassment, even though prima facie it appears to be a proposal. It may be possible that the person putting the gifts is a psychopath/sociopath.

It is in the best interest of your company that you bring this to the knowledge of management and identify the person. After that, have a counseling session for that employee and explain that such behavior creates negative vibes in the office.

By the way, does your office have a policy regarding office romance/relationships, as many companies do not keep declared couples in the same domains/workgroups?

This is a serious problem, so you should send an email to management. If you have the authority to view the CCTV footage, then go through that and resolve the issue.

Regards,
Aradhna

As stated in the above post, the reasons for the occurrence of this situation must be properly assessed. It could be that the lady has shown interest and this could be the outcome. Nevertheless, even if the guy has feelings for the lady, this is not the appropriate way to seek attention. All such actions should be carried out outside the workplace.

Otherwise, there is a risk that other women in the office may start receiving gifts frequently.
To address this, monitor the CCTV cameras to identify the individual responsible. Once identified, HR should directly approach the person to inquire about the behavior and request them to cease such actions, or else escalate the matter to senior management. While the person may be at fault for giving gifts, it is important to understand the underlying reasons for this behavior (though not necessarily accepted).

Arrange a meeting with HR involving both parties to discuss the issue.

As mentioned in another post, consider utilizing the gifts for office gatherings or upcoming festivals like Navratri or Diwali. Inform the individual that their gifts are being shared publicly and enjoyed more by others than the intended recipient.

If the lady's reputation is at risk, promptly inform the management.

---
I have corrected the spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors in the text provided. I have also ensured proper paragraph formatting and maintained the original meaning and tone of the message.

No need to inform the management or anyone else. It is not an HR matter. Administration or security personnel are the only ones who handle this issue. Do not get involved in such matters. In an organization, many frauds are ongoing, and we cannot stop all of them.

As an HR person, you cannot take action against her until you receive a complaint from the department where she works or from the administration or security departments.

Steps to Address the Incident

Please ask the lady to submit a formal written complaint to you. Upon receiving her complaint, capture the incident on the CCTV camera involving the individual. Issue a warning to him once (please keep your manager informed about this). If he repeats the offense, report it to the management immediately.

Hi,

I have read all the suggestions but wanted to know one thing: is it against policy to give a gift to a lady?

One alternative approach could be that HR collects the gifts from the lady and organizes a small event on the weekend. During this event, HR can distribute the gifts to the winners without revealing the donor. A statement can be made expressing gratitude to the anonymous donor for the wonderful gifts.

This method not only ensures the lady's safety by keeping her name confidential among her colleagues but also sends a positive message to the individual involved that HR is aware of their actions. It also serves as a gentle warning that future actions may have consequences without jeopardizing their career.

Before considering any disciplinary action, it might be beneficial to approach the situation differently.

Regards,
Deepak

You should immediately inform the management about it and catch the culprit through CCTV cameras. By doing this, you will be able to show the entire office staff that the HR department is concerned about employees and thus will enhance your goodwill.

Regards,
Swati Verma

Hi Swati,

It's true, we should always care for our employees, but we cannot control the emotions of an individual. Unless that person is behaving inappropriately, we cannot question them. It may be ethically wrong, but there are no grounds for us to punish an individual.

Creating goodwill through fear is a dictator's approach, not that of an HR professional.

I agree with Deepak. His suggestion can be good for all. If you have CCTV cameras, you can surely track down the person. You can send a memo to the person or have a discussion with them to give them an idea of the consequences.

Hi,

This type of issue happens in many cases, but whatever the reason behind giving gifts in the office, it will have a negative effect on other office staff as well. So, don't think of anything else. I believe you should highlight this serious issue to your management. If you have the authority to make decisions, then you should warn that person.

I believe bringing the matter to the notice of the management would mean serious consequences for the person involved. Maybe he genuinely feels for her.

Quietly go to the record room, delve into the details, and directly point out the person responsible. Don't make it a serious issue.

As an HR professional, you should address this problem with the management promptly before it escalates into a major issue for your employees. HR plays a crucial role in resolving employee inquiries. Please take immediate action.

Thank you.

Not knowing about a problem is an information issue. Not confronting a known problem is a serious issue. Don't wait. Inform the management. If someone has done something wrong, let them bear the consequences. This is harassment of a female employee, and such people should not be spared.

First of all, you should try to find out who it is and the method is very simple. By looking at the gift, you can tell whether it was sent by a gentleman or a lady. After that, try relating the gift to a past event. I think you will get the answer. If you still don't know, then one day, put a great smile on your face and try to judge who gets so much happiness on his/her face. I believe through this activity, you will identify the gift sender.

Hi Zonash, I have read about the issue you mentioned. It would be beneficial to discuss this matter with the management so that they can determine the appropriate course of action regarding the individual who is causing distress to the lady.

Regards, Zonash

This is a very unique problem I am hearing about. A person has been giving gifts to a particular lady without being noticed for the past 10 days.

It's really an alarming situation, not only for HR but mainly for the security department. It's next to impossible that a single person can do this kind of thing. I am sure there must be somebody else (maybe a female or a male) along with the culprit who is helping him or her in this. This may also be another way to mentally disturb the lady employee so that she gets defocused at work and makes mistakes, which will affect her reputation. Hence, I think this may be the mischief of some female who is jealous of this particular employee.

When could somebody leave these gifts?
1) Early hours of the office when nobody has reported.
2) During lunch hours when the staff goes to the canteen.
3) Before closing the office physically. In this situation, many people come under suspicion, starting from the watchmen, sweepers, peons, courier boys reporting late, 2nd shift watchmen, office staff, canteen boy, stationery supplier, xerox boy, etc.

Certain immediate measures are suggested:

1. Keep a muster outside the office door in which security will register the time, and the employee will sign.
2. Make them wait outside the office until a group of people is formed, then only let them in together.
3. Don't allow late sittings in the office.
4. Make all the ladies sit in one area of the office and create a separate room with a glass door that can be locked while leaving the office. It will be opened only after any of the ladies among them report for work. This will indirectly restrict the movement of male members into this room and solve the problem. I am sure this will solve the problem.

Phulora

Falling in love or gifting may not be a crime, but disturbing office etiquette and decorum is a significant violation. Moreover, offering an unwanted gift to a lady could be perceived as entering the realm of sexual harassment. Immediate and exemplary punishment should be meted out to the individual in question. Organizations and society cannot maintain a healthy environment if such inappropriate behavior is tolerated under any circumstances. It is imperative to take this matter seriously and terminate the individual responsible, regardless of whether the gift giver is a lady.

Dear, nothing to panic about this. Please circulate an email stating the above and request that the individual involved meets with you to discuss the matter. Otherwise, TV footage will be brought to light, as you also have it from a higher-end source. However, ensure that your CCTV camera is in working order.

Regards,
Bharat M Kukreti
GM, GOI

I suggest that you and your friend should have the courage to bring this to the kind notice of the management. It may be a trick of the management to ensure the credentials and honesty of the staff. It's better to act immediately without any fear. Truth always prevails.

ALL THE BEST,

Usman

Hi,

I think that you should take the initiative and resolve this problem on your own. You need to talk to your senior who has access to the CCTV and find out the person who is doing this. Then you should have a one-on-one talk with this person and inform them that this kind of behavior is not in the best interest of the company and could also harm their career. If the person works in the same team as the lady, try to move them to another team or change their shift to different hours. If things still do not improve, you can report it to your seniors for appropriate action.

Remember, employees come to HR to get their problems solved, and you should ensure that their issues are addressed properly so they can rely on you.

Sanjay

Hi,

I am working as an HR in a software company. I have a problem in my office. We have almost 200 employees, including both men and women. Someone has been leaving gifts at the desk of a female employee for the past week. She did not report it initially, taking it casually, but as it continues to happen, she brought it to my attention. What should I do now? Should I inform the management, as we have CCTV cameras in the office that can help identify the person and resolve the issue, or should I handle this without involving management?

Seniors, please help me solve this problem with your experience.

If she doesn't want to accept all those gifts, keep all the gifts in one big box with a message "return gift".

Very simple!

If CCTV cameras are in place in your office where the manager can observe the person, but he is ignoring the issue, that may only be the manager who would be placing a gift or getting that placed through some peon or security man at the place of the lady.

In that event, if you bring that to the notice of the management, your effort will go to waste. No doubt, he would stop placing gifts, but he would adopt some other method to entice the ladies.

So, self-help will be the best help in that case. Better some colleagues of the lady should first start investigating who is that man who places the gifts. For that purpose, at first, check who comes early in the office and leaves late. Watch their behavior.

As a second alternative, one or two employees alternatively may start reaching the office early and hide themselves somewhere from where they can watch the seat of that lady until someone places the gift and catch that person and bring them before the higher management.

---

Hi, I am working as an HR in a software company. I have a problem in my office; we have almost 200 employees working in the company, and we have ladies and gents. Someone is keeping gifts at the place of one lady employee for the past week. She did not bring it to our notice because initially, she took it casually, and later she did not want it to become an issue. But as it is repeatedly happening, she brought it to my notice. What shall I do now? Shall I tell this to the management because we have CCTV cameras in our office where the manager can see the person and solve the problem, or should I not say this to management?

Seniors, please help me to solve this problem with your experience.

Swapna, please inform the top management that the HR department has identified the culprit, who has been caught on CCTV. Kindly send an email to notify everyone that the individual will be dismissed.

Thank you.

I suggest that you should immediately inform your boss. But before informing, receive the complaint from that lady through a written application.

Regards,
Supriya

Please report this issue to management and take serious action against it so that such issues will not be repeated again in your organization.

Regards,
Sonali

Dear Swapna,

As per your post, I clearly understand that the person who kept the gift on the table wants to impress her for his own. After a week's time, she is escalating this to you. It's better to get the written complaint or in the mail along with the complaint. You can check the CCTV records for the person who kept the gift on her table. Don't take it to the management for this simple issue. Give a warning to the concerned person and get a written statement from him that he won't do the same on the office premises. Tell him politely and explain clearly that it's not the place for these types of activities. Also, inform the girl that henceforth these types of activities won't be repeated and ask her to bring it to notice beforehand.

Regards,
Gowrishankar.G

Dear Swapna,

Before bringing the matter to management's attention, identify the individual through your CCTV cameras and inquire about the reasons behind the gifts being placed for the employee. During your conversation with the person, ensure that you ascertain there are no malicious intentions behind their actions. If necessary, inform your boss. Good luck, and I hope you can successfully resolve the issue.

Dear Swapna,

It's good that you have a CCTV camera at your office. I believe you are in a junior position in HR and are in a dilemma about discussing the same with management. It's good to involve management when control is not in your hands and you cannot handle the situation on your own.

In my view, you should take control of the situation by requesting your CCTV camera team to observe (CCTV camera personnel always listen to HR concerns regarding employees) the individual when they next place the gift and, if you catch them, speak to them privately to issue a warning. Remember to send a written email warning once you apprehend the person; this serves as proof for future reference when informing management.

Regards,
Preyrna
HR Professional

As an HR professional, it is better to address situations on your own. Review the CCTV footage to identify any instances of misconduct and send an email to all employees addressing such disciplinary actions to uphold office decorum. Sometimes, we must help individuals realize where they are going wrong.

Regards,
Pooja

I agree with all of you who said that the company admin should look into it. Just informing the management about a half-investigated case is not the right solution. We really don't know if this lady in question is telling the full truth. This is a breach of security, and admin must take care of it. Helping the employee route the grievance to the right person was the job of the good HR, which you are going to do. It's not our job to take it till its end and solve romantic mysteries. Unless the gifts contain stuff which may be objectionable, I don't see it as a harassment case either. But that's my opinion.

I feel that you have to stop the personal belongings of employees from entering the office. I mean everything should be submitted at the security place. I believe that in the future, you can avoid such problems. This is just a suggestion.

Regards

Hello everyone,

Where is Swapna1981 amidst all this well-intentioned advice? There's not a single response or acknowledgement after she posted this thread on 7th October 2010. Was she serious in asking for the advice of all the members? Is it worth the time spent by all, or is it a waste?

Regards,
TS

As the lady employee informed you late, there is no need to further delay the matter. You can discuss this with your senior management to resolve the issue.

Subject: Re: Gifts to Employee

You should inform the management about this situation. If the lady is facing a problem and has reported it to you, then you must find the culprit and resolve the issue. Otherwise, it will not be good for the lady as well as you if the situation gets worse.

Regards,
Mayank

Steps to Address Unwanted Gift Situations

First, observe and identify the person who is leaving gifts at their place. Once identified, issue a warning. If the behavior persists, report the situation to management.

Please take a moment to reflect on this course of action.

Regards,
Eshwar

Instead of informing your management, I think you can take action from your side. Create awareness about IP cameras and information security issues by sending emails to all employees, displaying pop-ups on system login screens, putting up small posters, and including relevant quotations. This way, the person (victim) will understand and avoid certain behaviors. However, if the issue persists even after these steps, inform management.

Hi,

This is Assistant General Manager here.

Firstly, accepting them is not a crime, unless they are free from other dangerous items. Let her have them opened by the housekeeping, and if necessary, she can gift them to the housekeeping right there, or have them dropped off at a nearby crossing or orphanage. Say thanks to the nearby staff because everything is being watched, and the nearby acquaintances may inform the person or know about your intentions. Just thank him, saying whoever he is, God bless him, and if necessary, distribute them among the other staff. However, do not carry them personally as advised by others. Just continue and take it easy. Many people in the world need such offerings. Just go on.

Best regards

You should inform your management, but before that, you should see how supportive your management was in this regard in previous cases.

You identify the employee through the CCTV camera and counsel the employee regarding the behavior because we do not know if the employee (lady) is married or not. If the employee repeats the same behavior, you should highlight the incident to the management.

Regards,
Viju

Dear Ms. Swapna,

I hope the problem is resolved now. As an HR professional, prevention is better than cure. Each employee should understand the consequences and avoid engaging in such activities. Implementing punishments such as issuing memos, suspending without pay for two days, or delaying their appraisal for a month or two can deter others from misconduct. These measures help maintain discipline in the workplace.

I am curious to know the final outcome. Please update me on the situation.

Thank you and regards,
Saravanan

Hi,

I think that as a lady employee has informed HR about the incidents and she is not happy with it, you should take necessary steps to identify the person responsible for doing it. If you have the authority to check CCTV footage and identify, do it; else, escalate it to the right authority who has the power to check CCTV footage.

Once the person is identified, talk to the person and make sure to inform them to stop such incidents with immediate effect. Also, communicate clearly that in case of such incidents in the future, more serious action can be taken. Put these details down on paper and get the person to sign it along with a senior person from the organization. This paper will serve as notice to the person and can be used as proof if required.

This should help to resolve the problem as the person will understand the stand taken by the management. In case the person continues such behavior, management can decide and take appropriate action, including termination of services.

You must write an email ASAP to management explaining the whole situation. This is the demand of our job.

Yes, you definitely should get in touch with senior management about this. If you are authorized to check CCTV, you must go ahead and check that, and accordingly, you can give a verbal warning to that employee. If the behavior is still repeated, you should issue a written notice as well.

Yes, you definitely should get in touch with senior management or probably initially you can discuss this issue with your immediate boss. Also, if you are authorized to see CCTV, you must go ahead and find out the guilty person. Whomever he/she is, you can have a meeting with him/her and give him/her a verbal warning. If the behavior is still repeated, you must then give a written warning with the consideration of your senior management.

Hi,

Please don't make it seem like the person is not mature enough to come forward and express. If you are truly not interested, you can politely and firmly convey your message by using a sign such as "Please do not waste your money," "Please be bold enough to face me," or "Please do not fill my table with unwanted gifts," as many others suggest. These simple issues can be addressed without involving management. It is an absolute waste of time for the management to handle such matters as they cannot act as principals or teachers.

Revathi Margabandhu

Dear Swapna,

I have read and understood your problem, and it is really an issue. If you have CCTV cameras, then you should bring it to the attention of your management/boss. Determine if the same employee is responsible for the repeated incidents or if they are different individuals looking to cause trouble. If it is the same person, personally invite them for a discussion in the presence of your boss. Try to make them understand the situation or issue a warning notice outlining the penalties for such offenses. By taking these steps, you will secure yourself for the future.

Addressing Unwanted Gifts in the Workplace

First of all, the person who is struggling with those gifts from an unknown person has to complain about this. Then you will take action as per her wish. She may refuse to come to the limelight with this problem.

Regards.

At once, bring this to the notice of management after confirming the version of the lady concerned. If she is willing, get a complaint in writing from her, and then initiate action. A written complaint from the individual concerned is necessary so that later on, the person does not retract. CCTV cameras will be of immense help to nab the culprit.

A.D. Kawale