Are We Sacrificing Family Time for Career Success Without Realizing It?

Well, we all desire to be at the top positions in the corporate world. We all want to make it big. We all give in our hearts and souls to achieve it.

Is it all that we are sacrificing from our sides? No. Apart from these, we are sacrificing the real quality time we spend with our loved ones, the moments of care, affection, and love we feel when we are in their company.

The reason we give ourselves is to assure us that what we are doing is right - we are doing this for our loved ones. A son says he is doing it for the better future of his parents. A husband says he is doing it for his wife. A father says he is doing it for his sons/daughters.

True, very true, we all do it for people we love and care for.

But have we ever asked them, is this what they want? Is it only money and other comforts which our job provides them the only thing they desire? Does this mean more than spending time with them? Ask this to a growing son or daughter - what does he want? Money to buy more toys or to spend an hour with his father which he has not done for days, maybe months. Ask this to the old parents. Ask this to a wife waiting until late at night for her husband to return so that she can feed him.

And if the people we are doing this for just want our presence in their lives, then aren't we lying to ourselves that we are doing this high-stressed job for them? Aren't we doing it for our own selfish selves, even though our intentions are pure?

Guys, life is short. We've got to decide what we want.

Isn't it?

True...very true, Khyat!!

But who is to blame? Is there really a person who is devoting all his/her time to give all the comforts to the spouse/children or parents? Here, that person is not wrong, but yes, time management should be there. Even a single hour with full devotion to his family members is enough if in that time his personal life is totally personal.

I have seen some cases where a spouse/children or parents need comforts or money more as compared to his precious time, but the percentage for this case is less.

- Sandhya

You are correct, Sandhya. But isn't it ironic? The people for whom we make sacrifices are the ones who don't want us to make the sacrifice. I guess that's life.

Exactly, this is the life. We can try to make changes in it, but just a bit. But at last, one should try to manage what I believe because if there is a will, there is a way. If you have found a way to earn in order to make your loved ones happy, then you can also find another way to truly make them happy. What do you say?

Dear all
The discussion is really an interesting one but think about one thing. Ya its true that our family members miss us; they don't want our money but our time. All these are ok. But think can our family members be proud of us if we don't do our work and bring home the money.
How will a son get arrange for the best of medical facilities for his parents if he doesn't work……….
How will a father teach his children and send them for higher education if he doesn't work hard………
How wills a husband ensure that his wife is happy and getting the best of the things if he doesn't work hard………..
And without these things will the parents, children, wife be really happy?
We definitely work hard for the happiness of our loved ones.
Think about it…
Regards
Rima

Absolutely Sandhya, but that's what the problem is. In order to make them happy, you have to spend some quality time with them and alas, you don't have that.

You are right Rima!!

But the question is not about working hard, but what will you say to that person who is in the position of providing everything for his family but still not devoting time to them.

What I believe is that a person should not be a workaholic. He/she must separate personal life from professional life.

Every person has a different way of thinking.

Yes sandhya ur right in ur point. But what I am trying to say is most of the people do not become workaholic themselves but the circumstances turns him into one. Wen he sees his peers are working late in the office he also has to coz he can't afford to loose his job (especially in these days of hire n fire). When he sees his official working hours are 9-6 but the boss stays till late and his colleagues stays to create an impression on the boss he has to automatically stay whether he wants it or not it becomes a office norms.
Regards
Rima

I think we are all right in our perspectives, including the person working late hours and the individual waiting to have some precious time. In this current discussion, I find myself confused about where exactly the problem lies. Who is at fault? Can anybody suggest or provide a concrete answer for that?

Hi,

This late working scenario is something that seems more applicable to Indian organizations than others.

I wonder if any of you have read the following books:

1) *Management by Guilt* by Nicholas Iuppa

2) *How to Be Idle* by Tom Hodgkinson

3) *Managing to Have Fun* by Matt Weinstein

The first book talks about the REAL managing techniques. It tells it like it is without theoretical jargon. The second book talks about thought and the necessity to take time out today to think and actually "get a life." The third book talks about how to make work fun. Sadly, I don't think they are all available in print anymore.

These books are brilliant, thought-provoking, and should be essential reading for management students and working professionals who forget their home for various reasons like career growth or money.

It essentially boils down to your personal definition of success. If it is making money and attaining a position, or getting a job that allows time with family, it is a personal definition and as such is not open to judgment by anyone.

However, at the same time, a person who defines success by career and money has no right to moan about work-life balance, and the rest of the world not being understanding and accommodating for him.

I would like to have the views of others, especially those who might have read these books. You can Google the titles for more information.

Regards,

Ryan