Frustration in life - how can i improve my communication And writing skills?

Hi friends, I am sharing my feelings through this site. My communication is very poor, so I am not standing anywhere in my life. I am a 30-year-old man. In the meantime, I have no job. Every time my communication comes in the way of my success because whenever I go for an accounts interview, my bad communication shows up and hinders my success. I am very frustrated. Please tell me how I can improve my communication and writing skills.

Thanks & regards,
Amit

Dear Amit,

Go as per the advice given by our Citehrian, but above all, you should be glad that you have at least understood your weak point. It's great that you know that your communication is your weakness. I suggest a few points which you can practice:

a) Be a good listener.
b) Take your time to speak.
c) Speak slowly, in the style of Mr. Vajpayee (Sorry, I mean speak slowly).
d) Use other modes of communication, such as facial expressions, etc.

For writing skills:

a) Write small and simple sentences; avoid long and flowery language.
b) Ask your friend to rectify the errors.

Try these few methods.

Jitendra

I agree with you, Jitendra.

More than anything else, he has to practice with someone who can correct him for his mistakes. Don't wait to take time out to practice; practice all the time. You will run out of things to talk about; create your talk.

Start by talking about whatever you see, describe them.

Some reading on grammar can help. Observation will surely help, but beware, it may confuse you also, like watching TV channels where every other individual has their way of speaking.

I guess I agree with Jitendra when he says speak slowly; that is very important. Let the thought come to your mind before letting it out on your tongue. A slow but constant flow of thought is essential.

Another thing is to learn to keep focus while speaking. For example, when you are speaking and have to look someone in the eye, you may get nervous and not be able to talk further or make mistakes. A good exercise to overcome this problem is talking to a mirror. Practice it; it is really helpful. Look into your eyes and practice not losing focus on what you are saying. In the beginning, it will be difficult, but you will get it with practice.

Now understand that no matter what effort you make, it may all fetch you no result in the absence of the following:

1. Passionate Intent
2. Observation + introspection + retrospection (While and after reading and talking to others, or observe others talking / TV watching, etc. Dictionary use is a must, as a matter of fact, you should see a dictionary to check all the words you do not know even in this write-up).
3. Practice all the time
4. Create talks; don't give up saying or thinking that you do not have anything to talk about.
5. Mentor - who can correct you.
6. Some reading (10 words a day is an over-ambition if you do not crazily, passionately want to learn, even if you learn just 2 words a day, use them in your day-to-day speech, and can continue to do so for a year you will know 365*2=730 new words in a year that will change you as a person and an English speaker).
7. Patience - this will not happen overnight, the only quick change people can see in you is that you have started trying -- that can happen right after you read this. but the real change in the way you speak will be observed in at least three months that too if you are passionate.
8. Start - First immediate change should come right now... I mean right now... my friend if you fail to start you fail to learn.. start now... give yourself some time and it's very easy.
9. Motivation - many times you will feel things like, "It's okay," "What if I don't know English," "I can't do this," "It demands too much effort," "It is very confusing," or at the very thought of making an effort to learn English if you start looking for excuses to avoid it. Tell yourself this is not tough. Each day takes you closer, and a day missed takes you five behind. Don't leave it.
10. Practice - Our tongue is used to producing Hindi sounds, and when we try to speak English, we get stuck while saying what we want to, as the tongue is trying to produce a new sound that it has not made in Hindi.

Write a few sentences that you need to use more frequently, make about 15 of such sentences and say them over and over again (the idea is not to learn the sentence or to cram it, the idea is to make the tongue get acquainted with the new or strange sounds of a new language).

Try, and with a focused persistent effort, all of us have learned it. Big Deal!!!

You can do it too.

Regards,

Gagan Sharma

Dear Amit,

Hi, this is Naveen. First, I want to convey that you shouldn't think that you will not understand English. Consider this as a new skill that I want to learn, similar to how, in our childhood, we didn't know how to ride a bicycle, but now it's different. Similarly, with the English language.

We already know 70% of the words in English; the only thing is that we don't know how to articulate them. To address this, if you follow these steps, it may help you:

1. Start by reading some editorial columns in English newspapers. Purchase a dictionary. When you come across a difficult word while reading, refer to the dictionary, make a note of it, and try to use it as frequently as possible.

2. Always try to speak in English.

3. Watch some English news.

4. Read children's storybooks.

All the best!

Regards,
Naveen Kumar K.

Dear Amit,

I am impressed by the way you have accepted your weakness. Good communication is, of course, very important for progress in life, and in today's world, English has become the key criterion. But, my dear friend, this is not the last language in the world. What I feel is wherever you go, communicate your message with confidence, show your passion to work; every interviewer does understand Hindi. What you need to do is to show your confidence, passion, and determination to learn English if the job demands it in front of the interviewer. This will be an added advantage. There are people who have achieved success without initial knowledge of English, and of course, we keep learning as we grow up.

But that doesn't mean you should stop thinking of learning English. Make a decent start, and the rest of the things have already been suggested by my friends above.

Dear Amit,

Everyone has a learning phase, and so it's you now. No matter what someone thinks, tell them beforehand that you are in a learning phase and open to accepting any corrections. Secondly, don't feel bad that you are struggling with communication; you are proficient in writing without mistakes, which means you can write but may not speak at an expert level. So, no worries, talk as much as you can in English and correct yourself.

Within a month, you will see yourself doing much better than before. The links mentioned by our friends above are sufficient for you to proceed further. All the best, buddy. You will become the best communicator.

Regards,
Manju

Speak English with full confidence within ten days.

Hi friends, I agree with all your comments on this topic, but I'll assure you that you can speak English with full confidence within ten days.

If you do the following for continuous 10 days very seriously, you can do it.

Day 1. Read the newspaper aloud (Only the headlines from page 1 to the last page) four times.

Day 2. Slowly read the newspaper aloud (First 10 pages with full content, excluding classifieds) two times.

Day 3. Slowly read the newspaper aloud (again First 10 pages with full content) two times.

Day 4. Slowly read the newspaper aloud (again First 10 pages with full content) two times.

Day 5. Slowly read the newspaper aloud (again First 10 pages with full content) two times.

By now, anyone could read the passage with correct pronunciation.

Day 6. Slowly read the newspaper aloud. Now choose a passage and try to explain it to yourself in the mirror, thinking that you are in front of a third person.

Day 7. Slowly read the newspaper aloud for four hours; you can split the time duration.

Day 8. Slowly repeat what others say just like a parrot. Read the newspaper aloud for four hours; you can split the time duration.

Day 9. Slowly repeat what others say just like a parrot. Read the newspaper aloud for four hours; you can split the time duration.

Day 10. Think that you are abroad and the only language you can speak is English for communication. So talk with everyone in English and feel that you are the master in it and don't bother what others say because they are not going to help you in your interview.

This is not for anyone in particular, but this can be practiced by anyone to improve their English communication. You can even download tongue twisters and practice that too for good pronunciation. Cheers! :-)

Senior HR,
Tony

1. It's good you understand your limitations. Many of us can't, ever.
2. Your English is not 'very poor' as you feel. This I gathered from your written communication. Of course, there is good scope for improvement.
3. As others have suggested, read, read, and read good material. Listen to English, speak English, and do so only in English.
4. Don't hesitate to join a good English-speaking institution, but research well before making a decision.
5. Don't be negative, dude. You are just 30. Both your professional and personal life have a long way to go.
6. Keep searching for jobs and work simultaneously on improving your English. If you stay at home, your frustration will only increase.
7. Be cool, man. Just smile and chill :)

Wishes,
Mayank

Dear Amit, follow the advice of all. Please try the following points also:

1: Think in the language in which you want to be proficient. Let your thoughts arise in the desired language in your mind.

2: While going to bed and before you sleep, do a short revision of what you learned and did the whole day. Our brain is a super computer; for a day's revision, it will just take a few seconds or more. Then gradually, you can increase the revision process for 2 days, then more.

Benefit: IT WILL HELP YOU IN MEMORIZING WHAT YOU LEARNED

Dear Amit,

Have confidence, and you will do it. All the advice that you have received will really help. If you know your weak point, you can definitely correct it.

All the best!

Pratibha

Hi Amit,

The best way to improve is by reading newspapers. Especially, read the "Letters to the Editor" column in The Hindu. Also, try to read as many books as possible.

Regards,
Balaji

Dear Friend,

It is a common problem among people. You are a little better as you have the courage to admit it. As far as improving your communication skills, start by doing one thing: dedicate only half an hour daily.

Close the room, and read the daily English newspaper loudly (as loudly as you can) and see the results.

All the best.

Hi, Mr. Amit,

This is to tell you to never give up hope on learning anything. I have found that the easiest way to learn English is to read children's storybooks, which are easier to understand. Thereafter, make small questions and answer the same. Slowly, you will get the hang of it. Making small sentences is easier than trying to make big ones. Conversation is all about small dialogues. A good book that I use for teaching English is 'Essential English Grammar' by Raymond Murphy. Go to a shop and start speaking in English even if you make mistakes. This confidence will give you the stimulus that English is easy to learn.

Hope this is of help to you.

Smita

Dear Mr. Amit,

Never be frustrated because it will add more problems in your life. Remember, no one is perfect. It is never too late. No one in this world has not struggled. Remember, behind every smile lies the pain, the real struggle each one goes through to reach the top. Once you reach the top, you will then see that those days were a blessing in disguise. Take a deep breath and have a fresh start.

Regards,
Rahul

Dear Amit,

Normally in accounts, you do not need good communication skills initially since it is an individual job. Slowly but surely, you can improve based on the advice given by other members. Please share your contact number, and I would like to talk to you. You can email your resume and contact number to [Login to view].

All the best,

Regards, RLL

Dear Amit,

Loads of tips on improving your communication skills have been provided by our friends. However, this will take a little time. To complement the maximum gains and also start getting immediate benefits, pay attention to your body language. Simple techniques that are silent and extremely powerful, like proper eye contact, hand gestures, distance, and stance, will allow you to enhance your communication (which I believe you are already trying to improve with the suggested techniques). "Body Language" by Allan Pease, the Indian edition, is a very reasonable book. You may also find some relevant material on this site.

Actions speak louder than words; modify it to your benefit.

Rgds,
RR

Dear Amit,

Though you have not mentioned anything about your qualifications or job, the suggestions provided by your well-wishers above are very good and should be implemented in a phased and systematic manner. It also appears that you lack confidence in yourself, which should be strengthened through various exercises. Several programs conducted by experts can help in this regard. I recommend trying one such program. If you need any assistance, please feel free to contact the undersigned.

TR Chhabria
Mobile: 9818444595

Dear Amit,

I recommend you to buy an Oxford dictionary and learn 2-3 words per day in the morning. Use these words while talking or writing, and that will increase your vocabulary, which will reduce your English frustration.

Please read The Hindu editorial; there is no other newspaper in India other than The Hindu that will improve your English skills. This advice is from my own experience.

And understand this - there is no problem in this world without a solution. This should be your mantra.

Wishing you all the best.

MDHLAL

The first and foremost thing is to not get disheartened. It is not difficult to master the language and articulate. I suggest reading the editorial of a reputable newspaper, like 'THE HINDU,' many times daily and trying to write your own comprehension of it. Then, read aloud your comprehension and try to correct the spelling by referring to a good dictionary such as the Oxford Chambers Dictionary. Best of luck.

Nishadht

Dear Amit,

Knowing the problem is half the battle won. Now sitting back and not correcting it is a battle lost, so get down, read some very valuable suggestions given in the previous replies, and listen to English News on any channel - NDTV, CNN-IBN, Times, etc. Do not feel shy to speak.

I am language handicapped; though I have made Bangalore my home, I am finding it difficult to communicate with the locals as I do not know Kannada. I am trying my best to at least be able to communicate my thoughts, maybe not fluently, but just to get across my ideas.

Regards,
Colonel J H Mayne

Dear Amit,

First of all, I appreciate you for accepting your weakness. Don't get discouraged; take it in a positive way. Failure is the stepping stone to success. Another thing to consider is to sit down and introspect on where things went wrong each time. Ensure that the same mistakes do not recur. Start by reading the newspaper and aim to learn at least 10 new words every day. This practice will certainly aid you.

Remember, nothing is impossible in this world. I wish you all the best.

Regards,
Vadivelu A.P.

Dear Sir,

Keep your spirits high. It's not English, but it's just a language and a means of communication. You can learn it very soon. Concentrate on learning the language by all means. A child, when born, does not know English, Hindi, or any other language; he learns from his surroundings. Try to be in an atmosphere where you can learn. Try reading newspapers, magazines, books. Focus, focus, focus, and reach your goal. You will learn the language very soon. Create that confidence in yourself that if a child can learn, why not you?

As far as your accounts and job are concerned, you have the knowledge and skills. Don't panic. Try to express yourself conveniently. Once you do that, you will get whatever you like by communicating properly.

Thanks, and your English is not too bad, sir. Please concentrate with full confidence that you can do it. It's not a great job to learn a language very soon. It will take some days.

Thanks,
Shridhar J

Many people lack self-awareness and are not willing to accept it. Sometimes, they are unaware of where the problems lie. Once you identify the issues, you can work towards solving them. However, it requires regular practice and full commitment.

Thanks to everyone who has provided valuable advice.

Regards,
Arbind

Dear Amit,

The fact that you could express yourself very well on CiteHR means that you do not lag far behind in communication. We could clearly understand what you wrote, which means that you are an effective communicator; it's just that your English needs a bit of improvement.

It is not a big task and is very simple; it just needs one hour of daily devotion to learning English, no matter how busy you might be. There are a lot of classes and free online tutorials available. You may buy some English books that are simple to read, which will initially boost your confidence. When you are thorough with them, I am sure you will be clear enough.

Remember, go a bit slow and do not pressure yourself. While learning, if you are not able to grasp something at that moment, do not assume that you are not good, etc. Just tell yourself you have to learn, that is all. I am sure that within six months, you will be really good.

Kind regards, [Your Name]

Hi,

You have conquered your biggest hurdle by identifying your problem and acknowledging it. Being frustrated or depressed will not help resolve your problem. You will have to work for it.

All the above advice is the right solution, but from my personal experience, I have seen that you must always try to speak the language even when you know that you are correct. I am a non-Maharashtrian but born and brought up in Mumbai, so since childhood, we have grown up with Maharashtrian kids so we too learned Marathi. However, as I grew up, I realized that my Marathi was nowhere as good as a Maharashtrian, so I decided that whatever I knew I would go on talking and in the process my Maharashtrian colleagues/friends would correct me when I was wrong. Now, over the years, my Marathi has improved significantly.

The purpose of my telling you this is, practice all of the above, but don't be shy, go on, speak to your friends (who speak English well) in English and tell them to correct you when you are wrong. Don't misunderstand them, learn from them, be alert and attentive. Drill it into your mind that it is only a language and nothing great. If you have grown up to the age of 30 against all odds, you will definitely conquer your shortcomings and move ahead and one day be a very successful accountant.

So put your fears/doubts behind you and move ahead as per directions given above.

Best of luck,

Meena

Dear Amit,

Point 3, part 2 of the first replier is indeed valuable:

"Cultivate a habit of writing a small paragraph at an interval that suits you."

It has helped me in my life, so surely it will help you as well.

Regards,
Attri

Dear Amit,

First of all, stop worrying. Whenever you go for an interview, never try to talk in English because that will lose your confidence. You may be very clear about your accounting fundamentals, but when you try to explain the same in English, you get confused. So, give the interview in your mother tongue and, at the same time, practice your English skills.

Thank you.

Dear all,

I am in need of a contract license for my company. Can anyone send me Form 5 for applying for the contract license?

Regards,
T.N. Vinoth

Hi,

If you are interested in improving your communication (spoken), then I would suggest you to view at least one session of the BBC Worldwide News telecast. You can then follow it up with viewing Headlines Today, which is an Indian English news channel followed by CNN IBN. What you will find here is the difference in the way people speak and also the vocabulary the presenters use. This would be of great help as you will improve your way of speech as well as your vocabulary.

Let me know if this helps.

Regards,
Dhiraj Sharma

I would like to add on the comments, Mr. Amit. Start watching English movies or news, whichever you like, and reading the newspaper. Go in front of the mirror and speak with yourself. I am sure you will be able to speak English fluently. No one is born and brought up with this language. Everyone has their mother tongue, and Hindi is one of our national languages. You should feel proud of knowing your own language. Just keep in mind that whatever you say should be relevant and make others comfortable to understand. Cheers & Enjoy your day. Hope you will find a friendship with yourself and you will like it.

Dear Gagan,

All kudos to you. You deserve all appreciation and hype for this. How emphatically you have addressed his problem and very nicely prepared a road map for him. I want to thank you on his behalf. Keep up the good work.

Regards,
Naresh

Dear Amit,

I want to know one thing: whether only your English communication is poor or overall communication.

Regards,
Modi Ashok Kumar

Hi Amit,

Don't worry about what others want. You cannot satisfy others. Think - once you speak English fluently, people will expect more from you. Just ignore what others want and concentrate on the positive aspects you have. For accounts, you need accounting knowledge, not English grammar. Just focus on that.

Take care,
Ashwin

Hi,

Good morning. I appreciate your sincerity in expressing your weakness. Life has not come to an end for you. A simple task like reading an English newspaper daily (aloud) is one of the first steps. Try to do this. Read for 45-60 minutes every day and see the difference yourself. Have a dictionary next to you while reading the paper. All the best.

Prasanna Kumar
[Login to view]

Hi Amit,

I think you have received enough suggestions, but I would like to share something as well. There was a time when I felt the same way as you do now. I decided to discuss my problem with one of my professors. I told him, "Sir, my communication skills are not good." He then replied, "From now on, stop thinking that your communication skills are not good. If you continue to think like that, you will never be able to improve."

My dear friend, he wanted to boost my confidence by showing me that I, too, can speak English well. I am not claiming to be an excellent speaker now, but I can confidently say that my communication skills have improved significantly compared to before. So, from now on, refrain from thinking negatively about it.

Regards,
Khushboo

Dear Amit,

As mentioned by other members, please indicate your location. I think you have wonderful ideas to implement. While you are working with accounts, continue to improve your communication skills.

Remember, in accounts, 2 + 2 = 4. Manage your work efficiently while enhancing your skills. Where is the language in dealing with ATMs and still performing the duties of an accountant (being a machine)?

Take care and please send me your bio-data. I would be able to place you somewhere if you are in Bangalore.

All the best.

Regards,
RLL

Hi Amit,

The only thing you have to do is practice, practice, and practice. Read, write, and talk regularly, and you will be able to gain a good command of the language one day.

Thanks,
Kumar.

Hi Amit,

Nothing is impossible. With systematic training and practice, it is possible. The fact that this post has got the most 'views' shows there are many like you. You are not alone. Keep your effort to improve in mind until it is achieved. That's it.

All the Best,
Anandhi

Dear Amit,

I am also going through the same condition, but I do not lose my patience. Though I am from a vernacular medium and from a small village, I always tried to improve myself. I learned one thing: that I am shameless and no one is perfect in the world. Understand this and feel free.

Hi Amit,

I too had the same problem as you, but now I believe I have improved. Start reading English newspapers every day and find out the meanings of difficult words that you come across. Begin using those words when you talk to your friends. Always try to communicate in English rather than using your mother tongue or any other local language. Remember, practice makes perfect. The more you practice using the English language, the closer you will get to perfection. All the best :)

Thanks for the word of appreciation, Mr. Dabas. This actually comes from self-experience. I can relate myself to Amit, and when I introspected, this is what I came up with.

Regards,
Gagan Sharma

Hi Everybody and Seniors!

Here I'd like to share about my frustration with life...

I have a big frustration at this moment too. At my workplace, I work as an HR intern for a year. During my internship, I obtained my degree in economics in the HR field, so now I have an educational background. I have a boss, an HR manager. We support the company from an HR aspect. I assist my boss with daily work and sometimes handle small projects like prescreening CVs. I have expressed to my boss that I would like to take on more challenging tasks, such as attending interviews personally instead of just prescreening tasks in recruitment. However, she mentioned that there are currently more important tasks for me to handle than attending interviews and continues to assign me administrative tasks regularly.

Additionally, I desired a higher salary as my boss exceeded my contract, which is a fixed-term contract. However, she presented me with an ultimatum to either agree with the current salary or leave. Moreover, she does not want me to work full-time as an HR specialist/generalist/support. She insists that a student can handle my daily tasks. The issue arises as she rejects any new tasks that I could perform as a full-time employee, stating, "I do not want to do these tasks, so whoever wants to do this can, I will not do it at all!" Consequently, if given the opportunity, I could have enough tasks and projects as a full-time employee. Furthermore, my boss and everyone in the company are content with my performance, and I exceed most expectations.

In this situation, what should I do? Please provide me with advice...

Should I inform my boss that I would like to take on more challenging tasks or something else? I have mentioned to her previously that I would like to assist her with her tasks, but she responded by saying I could not help her with them.

Thank you in advance for the advice!

Great regards,

Andi

Reading daily one English newspaper in front of the mirror with the help of a dictionary for 3 months can yield positive results.

Hey, don't get disheartened. Just do one thing: start replying to questions on sites like Cite HR, Yahoo Answers in your area of interest. That will increase your knowledge as well as give you confidence in writing. In fact, I also started in the same way.

Hi Amit,

You are just 30 years old; frustration should not be in your dictionary. Follow the advice of all seniors who posted on this platform. I wonder whether you are as poor as you have portrayed. It seems as if you have doctored it. Sorry for my skepticism. I personally feel that nobody can be that poor.

In which language are you good? Take an English book for kids, follow general English, and join speaking courses. Nowadays, technology has improved so much that you have many avenues to learn. Remember, learning depends on your levels of desire and passion.

All the best.

Dear Amit,

First of all, I would like to suggest that for good communication skills, you will have to change your subconscious to English. Convert all your thinking into English, use English language daily, start group discussions, and record yourself, then listen...

Best of luck.

Dear Amit,

It is pretty simple to improve one's communication skills. Just speak a bit loudly in front of the mirror. Start this simple exercise and tell me if there is any improvement. After this, I will tell you some other steps.

Regards,
C.M. Mohla

Hi Amit!

I hope you have been motivated after reading the comments of all the friends above. Now, just have confidence in yourself and start now. It is you who have to motivate yourself. Best of luck with your speaking!

Regards, Singh S

Dear Amit,

The moment you think you are not good, you become that. Always think good, and you will become good. There are thousands of people not at your standard in writing when I see your communication. For learning swimming, you should jump into the water. Similarly, to improve your English:

1. Start conversing in English with everybody. Let yourself make errors; never bother, just keep talking.
2. Read a lot. Read editorials from any leading English newspaper (such as The Hindu, Times of India) loudly.
3. Write more in English.
4. Listen to others conversing in English (listen to BBC News, CNN, NDTV, etc.).
5. Attend all the English debates, discussions, and meetings happening in your town.

I am pretty sure that you will become good in less than 6 months.

Regards,
Shyam Kumar