How Open-Ended Questions Can Transform Your Parenting and Leadership Approach

If you're a parent or a manager, you'll find this article to be good, practical, usable tips that you can apply right away with your kids or your subordinates, and I encourage you to practice it out and see the difference.

"Ask Questions that are Open-Ended rather than Closed-Ended."

For example, at home, you ask your child a very simple question: "Are you having a good time?" or "Did you have a good day?" "Did you like the food?" are close-ended questions. They only require a "yes" or "no" answer. "What things did you enjoy doing?" is open-ended; as is "What was good about your day?" or "Tell me about your favorite food."

Open-ended questions invite your children to engage in a dialogue with you. They allow your kids to give more thoughtful responses. The more we can allow our children to do things for themselves, the more strongly we communicate the message that, "I believe in your ability and growing skills."

As you get in the habit of using the language of responsibility, you'll be able to see tangible evidence of your children's growing sense of independence. When we ask our children for their ideas and suggestions, we are often surprised by the creative practical solutions they present. Our kids are more likely to follow through with the solutions when they have helped create them.

"Friends, isn't the same true for organizations also?"

For example, you as a boss/manager, instead of asking close-ended questions to which the downline is indifferent, ask open-ended questions like "What do you think we can do on the customer service issue?" or "Tell me your views about the improvement in the product." By doing so, you would start being a leader, and your team would get a feeling of ownership.

"Yes, asking open-ended questions will require your conscious effort and a lot of alertness."

So the next time you are dealing with your child or your subordinate/employee/downline, just take a pause and ask the right open-ended question, and you will find your relationship improves tremendously.

Please share your feedback on the same.
Shabbar Suterwala

Communication Skills Material

Hi Shabbar Suterwala,

I agree with your views. We mainly use this approach when conducting incident investigations. When interviewing the witnesses, asking open-ended questions can be very helpful. If necessary, we can also use open-ended questions at the end.

Nice write-up.

With regards,
Dipil Kumar V

Re: Communication Skills - Open-Ended Questions

@ Shabbar Suterwala

I agree with Dipil that we use a lot of open-ended questions in Incident Investigations and in communication between managers, parents, subordinates, and children.

Normally, when communicating with subordinates and children, we tend to give instructions on what needs to be done without always explaining why it should be done.

In my communication training, I always provide examples of current situations and compare them to when I was young. In the past, questioning why would often lead to a response like "do it or face consequences," but with my kids, I find myself answering all their "why" questions until there are no more.

My experience has shown that in today's business environment, people focus on results, leading them to wear blinders and not engage in enough verbal communication. There are even instances where colleagues sitting next to each other communicate through emails.

I hope this helps clarify the importance of effective communication in various settings. Thank you for sharing your insights.

I feel both open-ended and closed questions (may also be called leading questions) are equally important for communication. The moment a person answers YES or NO and the other person (receiver) stops at that answer, we can easily say the communication is not still 'UP'. The receiver should now continue with one or two open-ended questions. Again, he/she should (or can) go to closed questions and keep changing the pattern.

The main principle I am suggesting is that communication should lead to something (might be to find a solution to a problem, to understand the other person's needs, etc.). Until it is achieved, the receiver should keep changing his/her questioning styles. The aim of the whole exercise should not be to nail down the other person with his/her answers (and taking advantage of some, negligible contradictions). There will be many contradictions when the questioning style changes. The receiver should be prepared to receive answers in a different tone, meaning, context, etc.

Regards,
Govinda Padaki