How Do We Navigate Morality and Law in Modern Relationships? Let's Discuss the Impact of Recent Judgments

Sex, Life and Morals

When I heard S.C's judgment on Khushbu's case, I was deeply pained. The country's highest judiciary has confirmed the following points -

Sex before marriage is not a punishable crime because there are no laws against it.

Living together without marriage (in Telugu, it is called sahajeevanam) is not prohibited because there are no laws against it. They also cited the example of Radha and Krishna in our Epics and Puranas.

I don't know what to comment, but surely it leads to lawlessness. Before S.C's judgment, maybe people were afraid to engage in such activities. But now, these things are legalized.

If an activity is perceived to be immoral, unethical, or detrimental to the harmony of society, it is better to enact laws accordingly. But on the pretext that there are no laws governing such activities, we can't encourage people to do as they please.

Now, no boy or girl needs to be a virgin before marriage.

Living together without marriage will continue.

I fail to understand why these two things are not treated as prostitution, which is illegal. Forum, please respond.

This is another great step towards suppressing India and its rich culture.

In my opinion, by this statement, the Supreme Court legalized what's now going undercover. In a very short period, they will legalize prostitution, citing that there were a lot of veshyas in our epics and puranas. India, a poor country in both money and knowledge until now, is becoming poor in culture and values as well, learning from the rich culture of foreigners.

I pity that one judge who has the name Krishna but didn't understand the relationship between Krishna and Radha. Without knowing anything, they are making comments like this.

This will create a mess. Life will get terrible with such acts being legalized.

I highly condemn this!

Dear Rao,

I certainly understand your expressions regarding the statement. Let me tell you something. The law states that it is not punishable according to the Indian Penal Code for those who engage in pre-marital sex.

The term "Prostitution" is nothing but sex being exchanged as a business transaction. I completely understand your resentment towards this act. So, why can't it be viewed as a personal choice made by individuals regarding engaging in pre-marital sex?

Thank you.

Hello Rao Sir,

"Virginity is not dignity, it's just a lack of opportunity." Being a Psychology student, I would like to take part in this discussion. Sex is nothing but a basic need of human beings, like food, water, and air. How could it be against the law to fulfill basic needs? I completely agree with the Supreme Court's judgment on Khushbu's case. Rao sir, nobody, no law, no government can stop this need.

Regards,
Prakash

Well, Mahesh. Thanks for the comment. But tell me, what happened to the case of anti-dowry? How many of us could take the oath to not accept dowry? Could we prevent dowry-related deaths? Individual 'will' power is good, but how many would truly be ready?

Comments like equating virginity with a lack of opportunities are concerning. I empathize with the female community members who are yearning for these opportunities. I doubt that many of us are prepared to embrace a world of such change.

I fully agree with the sentiments expressed by Mr. KS Rao. I totally disagree with the senseless outbursts of some others supporting the Supreme Court's opinion. It's clear that we have fewer quality people at the helm of affairs who do not have any moral values. This is all the result of the marks-oriented education where a human being is reduced to an ANIMAL!!

Wake up, gentlemen, realize that we are HUMANS and not animals!! Let not the values and morals befitting a human being slip away from our hands!! Is this what you teach your children to do? We talk of the Standard of Living... This does not mean just economic prosperity but a standard of thought and action keeping the moral standards of life in general.

Regards,
SUNDAR
BANGALORE

A thought-provoking post... Such lawlessness will surely lead our social structure to a great collapse. In fact, the present time is proving itself as no value age. It's a matter of serious concern. Samu..

Dear Mr. Rao,

It's really a matter of serious concern. These kinds of acts are a great threat to the society we live in, and we just cannot allow this structure to collapse. One cannot be allowed to do whatever he desires just in the name of advancement. There are social and moral bindings that one must adhere to, to act with responsibility in society and to set examples for the new generation.

I just want to ask Mr. Ravishank, what will be the difference between humans and other animals if we start acting like them? Moreover, when he feels that society should not object when he goes out with a girl and does whatever he feels like, can he say the same thing about his sister or his daughter as well?

To act in an irresponsible manner is very easy, but taking on responsibilities and making our society a better place to live requires serious efforts.

Mr. Rao,

I would certainly stand with you because even my values are the same as yours, but still, these decisions are individualistic decisions, and we don't have a right to interfere in anyone's personal life, neither does the law have. Just need to give these morals to our kids and just need to handle our house.

Hi All,

I completely agree with Mr. Prakash.

Being a social worker and a psychologist, I don't think that there is any harm when people go for live-in relationships. It's not a senseless outburst that a live-in relationship is not legal.

It's only the fact that people who want to live together but are unable or don't want to take responsibility of marriage at that point of time, they are staying together under one roof.

People can know each other thoroughly in this way and in this way, women, if there is any violence, they can seek justice against them under domestic law.

It is not a senseless decision of the Supreme Court, but in my opinion, it is a very good decision to support 21st-century people. In this century, there are different demands of life and to fulfill those demands, this is a minor change to that.

One more thing that I want to bring into notice is that it is not prostitution; don't mix both things together.

Regarding the dowry system, I want to ask, that at the time of your marriage, have you protested against it? It was the high time when you should have protested against your parents.

Always remember, charity begins from home only. If you will not start, then why are you expecting it from others?

And what does virginity mean? Does sex mean the entire marriage? If that's so, then it's better to go to a prostitute. Marriage means having a healthy relationship with the spouse in every aspect; it doesn't mean only SEX. Sex is a part of it only.

Please try to understand all the things that you people are mentioning. Then analyze.

Dear Friends,

I would like to give my comments. Sex is an individual interest, and we can't do anything about it unless it is illegal, and I agree with the Supreme Court judgment. We have strict laws for prostitution, and we shouldn't compare prostitution with premarital sex. Consensual sex cannot be prohibited unless it turns into a business. Many lovers have sex before marriage, so what can we do about this? Will you be able to address this issue?

Mr. Roa, Mr. Sundar, I accept your statements, but the practical situation is not acceptable. I think you both come from old traditions. Let's not compare humans with animals. Again, I am telling you that sex is an individual interest. If you are not interested in sex before marriage, kindly refrain from it and let's live according to your interests.

What is your problem if a boy and girl have sex before marriage? I want you to answer this.

I am also not interested in sex before my marriage, but I can't ask others to do the same.

Thank you.

I agree with Nipuna. Thanks for your mature and clear statement. Judges think numerous times before making a judgment. Friends, don't compare premarital sex with prostitution. Sex is a part of love, that's it.

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Hi guys, this is not an Indian culture, so don't follow it. Be good to our parents and be gentle towards our country. Otherwise, you will be punished on the Day of Judgment.

I truly agree with the concern raised by Mr. KS Rao. As per Indian culture and ethics, premarital should not be accepted. Yes, it's true that every citizen has the freedom to do anything he wants; however, for the sake of our cultural values, it is our responsibility to preserve it. If you can't understand this, what would be the value of marriage then???

Hi Cite.hr, I agree with your valuable point. No one will accept or digest if their wife/husband had premarital sex with someone. At the same time, what I am trying to say is we don't have any right to stop premarital sex. If you have any consequences in your individual life about premarital sex, you can worry; there's no need to worry for others. Those who engage in premarital sex should be concerned about it. Have you lost anything? Have you lost your family culture or your values?

Hi friends,

Yes, it is hot enough. We need not personify anybody while we discuss concepts. Without using 'You' and 'I,' can we discuss? Now the point is when SC pointed out and questioned the life of Radha and Krishna, we have to take it with a pinch of salt. People like me, more of traditionalists, could not keep silent.

In the Indian context, the institutions like family, marriage are built upon the roots of love, trust, and belief. Now, if the new verdict challenges the old ones, definitely, we need to think a lot.

Like people said, I liked pre-marital sex before I got married. But I don't like the same law if it is applicable to my wife. I know that since the last two days, hundreds of parents are caught up with a headache and indulging in the yes-no digression on this topic. They are afraid of their daughters who are likely to become aggressive now. It is not that I like or you like; it is what happens to the very strength of the social fabric?

As I pointed out earlier, if there are no laws to protect our strengths, why don't we make some? The psychologists are pointing out that sex is a bodily need and love is different. But to an old man like me, sex without love is beastly. The life of a wife and husband is tied first with love and affection and then sex. If this is not true, they must part the moment they don't have sex after their 60s. Love is the binding thread in life and also in the family.

Just because sex is a bodily need, nobody will do it with anybody, even with mutual consent.

Dear Mr. Rao,

This is only a court judgment. The court is bound to act within the laid-down procedures. Of course, in this case, the judges made a mistake.

In marriage cases, the court is morally bound to refer to our Hindu procedures. It has to honor our old traditions. Marriage means "KANIGA DHANAM." If a girl is allowed to have sex before marriage, then there is no meaning in our Hindu traditions.

The younger generation cannot be allowed to continue damaging all our traditions in the name of GENERATION GAP. SEX & DRESS do not mean modern. They should be good citizens. How many young people behave like this in public places? We are not caring for our future generations.

If the present trend continues, then our own grandchildren will curse us. SEX will start even at the age of 15.

If a person tastes sex at 15 years, how long will he live? Just a maximum of 10 years. Then he feels dejected, loses interest in everything, and becomes a danger to society.

Dear Mr. Rao,

I totally agree with you, Sir. This is not what our parents taught us. India is known for its rich culture. Parents will never want their children to have such kind of relation. I want to ask Mr. Ravishank and all the guys who think the same, have you ever thought about how your parents will feel if they come to know about it? Is that what you will teach your children? How will you feel if your sister or your daughter does the same?

There is a difference between human beings and animals. We are living in a society where we have some social and moral values. We are expected to follow those, otherwise, nobody will believe in the marriage system. If you cannot stop the mess, at least do not create it.

Regards,
Swapnaja

For a while, just think, if someone knows that his/her mother/sister had a sexual relationship with others before marriage, then??????????? Now, still, you guys puzzle about morality. It's all about civilization; this is the only thin line between animals and us who talk about morality.

"Virginity is not dignity; it's just a lack of opportunity."

Bullshit, it's "Virginity is dignity; it's just not a lack of opportunity."

Please comment.

Taking dowry was also a part of our Indian culture. So, should we protect it just for the sake of maintaining our culture?

You are correct. All these acts are harmful to society. They accepted gay sex, lesbian sex, and now this controversial ruling. Tomorrow they may go further and state that public sex is not a crime. These so-called intellectuals are trying to minimize the difference between humans and animals.

That is true. Such judgments or examples may be okay for big cities, where no one notices or bothers about the next door. But such examples will create unrest in society, especially in small cities, towns, or villages where people are murdered for small instances. Social restrictions are needed for social control. Things like living together without marriage or sex before marriage, at least, should not be promoted.

Ravindra Dikshit

This may sound a bit uncultured, but yes, sex is a matter of personal preference. Once it is commercially done, that's where it is called prostitution.

The irony here is that we are neither fully modern nor fully Orthodox. We talk about culture, but we should not forget the practicality of today's world. We may like it or not, but the world is changing, and the same is applicable to every single situation. For example, 10 years back, did you have the freedom to talk or discuss sex so openly? Or sex education/condom commercials? Now, you have the freedom to talk about every taboo. For some, this may also be a violation of culture. Culture has a very vast definition, and every one of us has a different set of rules for our culture. For example, some may think wearing a saree was our culture, but nowadays, very few young women wear it in the office because practically, it's tough.

Yesteryears women didn't used to manage house and office at once, nor did they used to run to travel 35 km in local trains or packed buses. So, are we offending our culture? No, we are being practical with it.

Now, let's talk about sex. Our culture says premarital sex is bad. Earlier, no couple lived together before marriage, it was considered a sin. But if you think the other way, circumstances have changed. Earlier, people used to get married early so their physical needs were fulfilled as soon as they became adults, whereas nowadays, late marriages are common. Also, earlier, teens did not have the privilege to easily know everything about sex from the internet or books, but now, a young kid knows how and why a baby is born. So, sex is no longer a taboo for youths now.

Earlier, girls and boys (especially girls) were not allowed to leave their families and live in other cities for a job. So, they always lived with their families. However, nowadays, every other youth is living out of their home city, so there are no restrictions at all, and they form a kind of small temporary family for themselves. I have known a few couples who lived together before marriage, and I have seen that it's not just sex that brings them together; it's also loneliness, lack of family's emotional support, and in some cases, financial support as well.

As far as virginity is concerned, even if we make a rule against premarital sex, we really can't stop it because sex is a matter of high privacy, and one can't prove oneself innocent or guilty until a medical checkup is done. Saying all this doesn't mean that I support premarital sex, one-night stands, or live-in relationships. But what I want to say here is we really can't do anything unless we strongly believe that the only thing that could prevent it is our inner selves and, to an extent, our society— not our legal system. Mr. Rao is correct that how many of us will be ready for a personal oath. But don't you think for those who are not ready for a personal oath will do it anyway, even if we make a rule against it? Though giving God's example is not good according to me because we are in no way comparable to God.

At a certain age, one has the freedom to do certain things, whether it is before or after marriage. Cultures are merging, and people are having more choices in whether to make or ruin their lives. Sex becomes normal at a certain age. Doing it every week or month with a new person isn't good at all. Well, everyone is responsible for their own karma. Make sure you live an ethical life.

Dear Mr. Rao,

I fully agree with your views. For others who don't, please imagine a situation when the boy and girl are in love and have no problem living together. What will happen after that is the girl's family will break all relations with her, as most Indian parents will not approve of their daughter living with a boy without marrying.

Now comes the tragic part. If the boy or girl start to have fights and differences, who will guide them? The boy's family may help in some cases, but if no one comes forward as a mentor, they will break up, and the girl will have nowhere to go. So, it is very important from the girl's perspective to make such a strong decision as it will affect her whole life. Therefore, one should not try to copy what youths of other countries do because we are Indians, and we should remain Indian at heart.

Hi, I fully agree with Mr. K.S. Rao's feelings. I am surprised and worried to see the views of psychology students. But they should know the fact - there are survey results stating, "No one is affected by AIDS or any other sexual diseases in the Narikuravar Community in Tamil Nadu. They live as Nomads. But what about civilized people...?"

"I just want to ask Mr. Ravishank, what will be the difference between humans and other animals if we start acting like them only?" - Samchchay.

Dear Sir,

In your former case, why can't Indian parents think of a girl's situation rather than separating her? Why is only the girl brought into the issue? This mentality has to be changed.

In your latter case, fights can happen in marriages (love/arranged) as well. Please note that in this hour of time, girls have many options to explore rather than just sitting and crying.

P.S: I am not wise enough to label a decision as 'right or wrong'. These are my opinions.

Regards,
Dipty

Hmmm. This is a big debatable topic. If I understand better, any law across the world cannot stop a human being from eating food when he/she is hungry. That's the birthright of a human. Ok, we are saying we have a rich culture and heritage.

In fact, the surveys conducted 20 years ago revealed shocking facts. India was topping in extramarital affairs and premarital sex scandals when Western culture was not having so much influence as compared to these days. And we have been hearing for so many years that XYZ Swamy is involved in sex scandals.

My point is, as the Supreme Court rightly said, all these affairs are an integral part of our culture and heritage. If you look at our epics, you find a lot of affairs like that, e.g., Dushyant and Shakuntala. It all depends on our thought process. Sex is natural, and it has to be fulfilled at the right age.

We have made laws for a lot of crimes. Are these laws really stopping these crimes? NO. Then what should be done?

It all starts from the home of a person. Parents have to play a very important role. Children learn from parents first, and society comes next. For every child, parents are role models.

If parents can build a strong value system and attitudes in children, no law is required to stop these kinds of affairs. If my value system and attitude are strong, no society can change me. If I am influenced by these so-called ill cultures, it means my value system is flexible, and my upbringing is not perfect.

It's all about how we perceive, understand, and respond.

That's my opinion.

Regards,

Mohan
Behavioral Trainer

Dear Mr. Rao,

I certainly understand and can feel your concern. The judgment that came from the Supreme Court is really a pity, as being a human being, it hurts that today premarital sex shall not be illegal and punishable, and no boy or girl is required to be a virgin before marriage. The terms like 'live-in relationship' shall be socially recognized and agreed upon.

Sex before marriage or virginity are terms that relate to human beings being different from animals; they also cohabit and have sex without any barriers. Human beings, as mankind, have some barriers, restrictions, social belongings, and cannot be related only to material things, whether they conform with the law or not.

I strongly support Mr. Rao's concern and understand that even today, if any girl or boy comes home and says to their mother or father that they had premarital sex relations, I don't think any parents will like, admire, or agree, other than those who don't have any ethics or culture around them or their home.

Certainly, the deaf and dumb people of society may not react to this judgment, but no one who originates or accepts the origin of our Indian heritage shall agree with this judgment.

Brijesh

Dear K.S. Rao,

Sir, I understand how human values are coming down. Somebody mentioned in this post that we are in the 21st century, and it is modern to say it is a need; some talk about God. Does anybody know that Krishna is treated as a lover boy, but he never had a physical relationship with any of his lovers except his wives.

If some are towards the judgment, I ask all those: can you see or imagine your kids saying that tomorrow, if such activities are encouraged, one day a daughter or son will come and tell their own parents that we are having sex to know how satisfied we would be if we marry him or her. Sorry to talk like this, but one day for sure it will be like this.

Do we really have to see such days? Then we need not be humans; then all our identities will vanish, and we just remain animals. I agree with K.S. Rao, Sir, and I am very much against Kushboo and the judgment.

Thanks & Regards,
Santhoshini

While accepting the judgment of the highest legal body, I feel that this has to be discussed at a higher forum (parliament) and legalized so that there is no misinterpretation.

I do agree with you Pallavi. If you look at the evolution of mankind, you will appreciate the fact that mankind has always taken up new habits and behaviors for better living, which we are calling civilization. At the same time, it has left behind many traditions and customs that have become barriers or obstacles to better living.

In the end, any tradition or culture must keep an individual in harmony and peace. Marriage does not guarantee that. It has been proven many times in various cases. Perhaps it is time for all of us to reconsider our age-old traditions that we are passing on to the next generations.

Mr. Rao will also agree with me that there are quite a few marriages that are intact, yet both partners are unhappy.

If a marriage is intact without happiness for 40+ years, what is great about it?

Why did they live together after all?

Is it because they respect tradition?

Is it because they fear tradition?

I am sure there would have been negative energy at home all these years, and kids would have been adversely affected by this if they had kids.

In such marriages (which we proudly call Indian heritage and culture), what is achieved?

That's where all these insecure, incompetent, inferior, and directionless younger generations are coming up day by day, which is supposed to be the biggest strength of this country.

India is the only country in the world with 42% of its population aged between 18 years and 35 years.

Look at the youth today.

What is making them so unproductive and directionless?

What shaped their attitudes and personalities?

It all starts from parents. As parents, we are responsible for all of this.

We need to consider the fact that are we successful as life partners, as parents, and more importantly as citizens of this country. Those who cannot contribute to their country have no right to demand from it.

We are worried about our traditions and culture, yet unfortunately, nobody is concerned about the progress of this country, including me. We don't vote, we don't encourage our next generation to vote, yet we want excellent governance.

We don't go to the police station to report a rape that happens next door, yet we say law and order in this country is pathetic.

Really surprising! We don't even consider our fellow humans as humans at all, but we are worried that our traditions are vanishing.

Who is responsible for this? Let us ask ourselves frankly. Are we responsible in our actions as parents? This is where everything starts!

No tradition is inherently bad. We were just dormant as a nation while the rest of the world was exploring new ways to develop.

Even today, in the history books of this country, it is written that Vasco da Gama "discovered" India. We are supposed to be one of the ancient nations of the world.

We have no issue with that? We only have a problem that our traditions are disappearing?

A tradition will become the best when it brings happiness to mankind.

Similarly, a relationship should foster harmony and peace for the people involved in it.

I am sure the means of a relationship (how it is formed, in this case, whether it is marriage or cohabitation) has nothing to do with that.

I am very sorry; I was a little rude in expressing my thoughts. It was not intended to hurt anyone.

Regards,

Mohan Rao