Dealing with a New Boss's Insults: How Should You Respond to Office Bullying?

Dear All Seniors,

If the new head insults you in the office and comments about your face, what should one do? The new boss has appointed some of his friends/city fellows and is now running the company with a "Might is Right" attitude. In contrast, the previous boss respected you for your professionalism and praised your work in senior management meetings several times.

Looking forward to your guidance.

Regards

Dear Mianimtiaz,

It's a sure case of lobbying. In many ways, if you want to sustain your position, try to maintain a low profile in appearance with the boss because "the boss is always right" mentality still exists. If the boss is humiliating to his staff, ultimately, you will get support from your colleagues as they are all suffering from the same problem with the boss. Eventually, the boss will realize his mistake. Meanwhile, try to ignore the mis happenings and focus solely on your work. Try to build confidence in yourself among the friends/city fellows appointed by your boss. This will provide you with good support and defense when the boss is planning to create problems for you. Best of luck.

Hope this is useful to you.

Amul Joshi
Vadodara
9427503784

But the person recruited by the boss is afraid to even talk to me. They say that the boss will torch them also... What now?

Then, I suggest you should wait some time. It takes time to assess if your work profile is strong enough to support a relocation. You should consider changing your job from your current position.

Just tell him to provide the expenses of cosmetic surgery and tell him which face he likes the most.

Are yaar, if he is doing so and you don't like it, tell him directly not to comment on that matter. As professionals, personal matters should not come into play.

Dear Mianimtiaz,

One should be aware of a corporate saying:
1. "BOSS IS ALWAYS RIGHT"
2. "An employee never leaves his company; he leaves his boss."

What do you think?

What is preventing you from giving it back? Just ensure that you leave behind no proof and play your cards right...

Dear Mianimtiaz,

Expressions made by our friends are quite right. Even though we claim that working for corporates and in professional organizations, most of the organizations are run by their boss, not by the policies and procedures. The scope of HR in these kinds of grievances is very minimal as these are opinionated professional remarks based upon personal rifts or assumed rifts by the boss. We are still under bureaucracy, not in a professional environment with a "boss is always right" structure. I am against the opinion of quitting the job. Be more patient; the presence of these kinds of bosses is for a very short period, and they will face the consequences. Even if you quit, you will also come across these kinds of bosses elsewhere. Patience pays you double in your future; I have enjoyed the rewards of that. Good luck.

If there is an HR department in the company, go to meet the HR counselor who can provide you with the right answer. If you are not satisfied with the counselor, tell them directly in front of other employees not to comment on your appearance.

Respected all,

Please provide guidelines and details regarding the hypothesis for my MBA HR policies synopsis.

Sonawane

Dear friend,

My suggestion to you is something that I have done myself and succeeded.

Seek a meeting with your boss, clearly saying that you need to discuss a few things on the personal front. Do not push for the meeting, and eventually, you'll get it. It's impossible to ignore a person whom you see every day in the office, so he'll give you the time.

In the meeting, begin with setting the agenda, very politely saying that, "there are a couple of things that I wanted to share with you regarding myself"... say that I have a problem, that I am a very sensitive person and if emotionally hurt, it starts reflecting in my behavior and work... and some other talk like this... I hope you are getting the drift... then tell him, it hurt me real bad when he passed a comment on your face, saying it in a manner which is not accusing. Say that, I am sure when you said (repeat exactly whatever he had said), I am sure it was an unintentional joke but it still hurt me and I got upset. I am working on this flaw of mine (being so sensitive), but in the meantime may I request you not to say these things even in a light manner, especially in front of others as it hurts... or something on these lines. Remember, all this conversation should be very polite and you will have to talk as if you are sharing a weakness of yours and asking for his support to overcome it.

I don't think you'll have too many problems after that, just understand the flow and tone of the conversation you need to have and you'll be able to pull it off...

I hope it works out for you.... all the best!!!

Regards

Aditya

Hi!

I hope the suggestion given by Aditya will resolve your problem. It sounds very professional; you can opt for that.

Otherwise, you can go through my views.

Even though your head sounds unprofessional or rude, you prove that you're not him. Raise this matter to the head that he reports. Take a copy of the complaint that you have raised and keep it as a reference for the future. If he abuses or insults you again, you need to follow the same procedure. The complaint that you're raising should top up the previous one.

No one has the right to crack jokes or criticize our physical appearance. Everyone has their own self-respect and dignity. We are not slaves to anyone in this world. The company is paying for the service that we are providing, not our team lead, manager, etc.

I will not appreciate the saying "Boss is always right." No one in this world is perfect. Everyone might have gone wrong at some point in time. The head or a lead should be a good example to their subordinates.

A bossy approach will not work all the time. Managers, directors, team leads, and so-called high designations were given to them in order to lead the company and to share their knowledge with their subordinates to take the company on the right path to raise the profit.

They have to be professional and friendly in nature if others have to accomplish the tasks they schedule. They have been tagged with those designations since they have enormous knowledge and experience in that domain.

Organizations are built with teams and departments. It's not a one-man show. Everyone has to shoulder the organization if it has to reach the sky. Everyone is responsible for their actions.

If you feel that he is repeating it, then you should report it formally to your line manager or HR and inform them that you would like to work under a professional head and not him. The HR manager will take the responsibility to handle this problem. They will help you out to come out of this problem.

I will not suggest you change the company; if you're going to do that, it sounds like he is winning. Prove yourself in that organization; you can beat him with your outstanding performance. Everyone has to adore and admire you in that company. The whole organization has to say that you're the best employee of their company. This will be a very bad defeat to your unprofessional boss since everyone is praising you in your company.

Move on... Take the necessary steps to prove yourself to others in a professional way. We should not fail because of their rudeness or unprofessionalism.

Don't let others treat you badly. If you have the courage, give it straight to their faces. Again, it should not sound like you're mocking him, but it should be very polished and funny. If he is very brilliant, he will find it out; otherwise, we can always recall it and laugh at his so-called intelligence.

This is for my friend who is seeking some suggestions. These are just my views and suggestions. Others, please don't get offended by what I've mentioned. It purely refers to people who are being unprofessional and rude, nothing specific.

Regards,
Asha M.

1) You are in the good days of your old boss.

2) The five fingers in our hands are not the same. How can a human being?

3) The good things your ex-boss has done are still in your mind, so you are not able to accept the new boss.

4) Your mind is set to hear only good things about you, not the things that need to be corrected, which will make you much more professional.

5) Please come out of the mindset.

6) Analyze why your boss is saying all these things to you.

7) The more you concentrate on yourself, the output will be enormous.

8) Good that you have a boss who talks straight to your face.

9) He is the person who will be your long-time guide, friend, and the best person who can make your career successful.

Always remember the following:

"People who say what you wish to hear will do so for their own benefit, not yours.

People who challenge you, whether they intend to help you or not, do indeed help you grow stronger and better."

Dear Asha,

It is extremely refreshing to read such logical and professional suggestions in this forum. Most of the time, we read impulsive or knee-jerk reactions. I am sure the people who report to you are very lucky, and the organization that receives your services realizes the value of the asset they have.

All the best to you for your professional as well as personal life!

Dear Mianimtiaz,

I am sure that either of the suggestions given by Asha or me should take care of our problem. It's important that you stay focused and not get into a zone of helplessness or self-pity; otherwise, no suggestion or approach will work.

Take care and remember, you have a lot of friends in this forum... all you need to do is reach out.

Regards,
Aditya

It seems to me that your boss is seeking to make your life difficult. You must maintain a daily log of any/all incidences. Ensure that you are professional and beyond reproach at all times. If matters deteriorate, and I suspect that they will, then you will need to request a meeting with him - you may need to have some representation with you - to ask him what difficulties he has with your work. Remember that he can only comment on your work and not on anything about you personally. If he bullies you or refuses a meeting, then take legal advice but put in a formal grievance against him if your organization is large enough. It's difficult but keep your nerve. He is a bully, and bullies only respond to strength. You must stand up against him but remain professional.

Dear Mianimtiaz,

Don't leave your job. Stay some more months in that job itself. The boss is not an owner of the company; the boss is also one of the salaried employees. He can't do anything more than making unnecessary scenes. Try to increase your patience. You will get a strong heart to face the problems, which will help you in the future.

Thank you, dear seniors and colleagues. I appreciate the way you have helped me during this difficult situation. I am grateful to all of you.

I have raised a formal complaint about grievances as the boss called me "dog tail" and used disrespectful language towards me, which I find inappropriate to mention here.

My senior manager has expressed satisfaction with my work, and the HR manager has requested the boss to address the issue amicably and take steps to evaluate my performance.

Despite these efforts, I feel fearful and reluctant to return to the office now. I have tried to arrange a mutual transfer with a counterpart from another city, but no one is willing to transfer, citing the challenging work environment. My family is also concerned about these developments.

I am unsure about what steps to take next.

Hi to all. I have recently secured a campus placement in an IT firm (Pelsoft Labs: Bulk SMS, Website Designs, Customized software, Send National Bulk SMS). My profile is core HR, but I find it strange that the company has selected 5 other people for the same role. Currently, the company has a staff of 450 people in Delhi, not here in Chandigarh where I am based, as it is a branch office. They mention an expansion plan in the coming months. I am curious about the need for so many HRs, as I am new to this profession. Kindly clarify my doubt.

Dear M,

Majority always wins, so if you are bigger than your boss and his created team, then you must stay there. Otherwise, move to some other place. Before you move, inform your management about the behavior of your boss. On the last day, reply to all of his abusive questions in the way he deserves.

Regards,
Ram

Hi everyone,

I have started a group "Partners in Progress." The intent is to create a forum within this huge platform where we can have constructive discussions and genuinely share our experiences and best practices for mutual growth. You are all invited, and I hope to see you all in this forum soon...

There are 3 actions for you...

1. If you like your job, forget what is happening.

2. If you can move on from the job.

3. If you like the job so much, then gift the guy. (But first check if he accepts and likes gifts. If yes, then if he agrees, go with him on his breaks...) Just a way to make sure to become friends with the boss.

I strongly back both points raised by Krishan, that one should be patient and work with utmost perfection. You will achieve the results ultimately, here or elsewhere. As life moves on, we will learn new areas of behavior. As humans, we can adapt to the situation.

I have seen instances where the aspect of "An employee never leaves the company; they leave their boss." Ultimately, other people will grow, and you may find yourself alone. Fight back with patience and your skills; success will follow.

It's been said, "If you don't like the rule, then reach the top and change the rule."

Dear all,

I have joined a company with 15 employees. I am an HR exec and the only HR employee there. This is my first job, and I have been working in this company for the last 3 months. However, recently my boss (proprietor) humiliated me in front of all the employees, even the peon and the boss's driver were present. The mistake was committed by me, but it was not a significant mistake. He could have given me a warning by calling me into his cabin or explained to me about the rules I broke. Now, I am not able to work with a proper frame of mind. I feel insulted and am considering leaving this job. With only 3 months of experience, I may not find another job soon. Please advise me on what I should do.

Regards,
Vikram

Many of us have faced this kind of situation at some point in our careers. I think what most of our friends have said is true: patience is golden. See if you can hold out patiently against your rogue boss. If it becomes too stressful, you should definitely start looking for another job. Hopefully, the new environment and new boss will give you peace of mind.

All the best!

"When employees change: work suffers," and "When the boss changes: employees suffer." If nothing changes, then our family, friends, and loved ones suffer. So, my dear friend, "suffer" is permanent; others are meant to be changed.

In my experience, every person is "unique," so nobody can insult another. Therefore, when a new boss insults you, just perceive it as an insult to your "work," not "you."

Regards,
Vanrajsinh Jadeja

Reasons for Insulting Remarks from Your Head

The insulting remarks your head is making towards you may be due to one of two reasons. Firstly, he/she might be feeling insecure about your current position, abilities, or knowledge. Secondly, it could be related to your contacts within departments and top management. Alternatively, the head may have been given a specific target by top management to criticize some staff within the organization.

Regards