Why Does Darkness in My Mind Feel So Overwhelming? Seeking Your Thoughts

I recently wrote:

Power-cut and a sudden darkness
I got up and lighted a candle
What's wrong with darkness in mind
Why I find it so difficult to handle?

Can you tell me why?

It is not the darkness from which we are fearing. We are fearing the unknown. When there is light, we can see and judge where we are, what we are doing, and what is coming to us. We can make a judgment or decision. But when there is darkness and nothing is visible, then we are in the unknown state. We do not know what is coming to us. We do not know who is watching us, and we do not know who is standing in front of us. Then we become who we really are. If we are ordinary people, we start fearing, make negative imaginations in our minds, and start feeling fear. If we are saints or in a higher state, there is no unknown, only trust, so there is no fear.

I think this is the answer to your question.

Veryniceguy (who shares good things)

You do not have the practice to stay in the dark, or in other words, you lack practice in staying in the dark or have a sense of uneasiness.

Assuming that each one of us has a good side and an evil side, the darkness of mind can be twofold: One - the evil side (dark side) of us, and Two - darkness of ignorance. I am further assuming that you are referring to the darkness of ignorance and not the evil side.

There is a phrase in Sanskrit - Agnyanaandhakaram - meaning the darkness of ignorance. In Bhagavad Gita, this darkness is termed as darker than the darkest substance in the universe.

The darkness of mind (that of ignorance) is the hardest kind of darkness to remove. Why? The only light that can distance this darkness is the Light of Knowledge. The Light of Knowledge, again, is twofold. One, the knowledge itself, and second is the wisdom coming from the deeper understanding of such knowledge. "When intelligence matures, and lodges securely in mind, it becomes wisdom" (C. Rajagopalacharya).

Why is it so difficult to bring the Light of Knowledge into the mind? What is the knowledge we are talking about?

To bring the light of knowledge takes work - a lot of work. Knowledge, here, is the knowledge of the physical self (I, me, etc., and Jeevatma in spiritual terms), and the knowledge of Self (the Supreme Soul or Paramatma in spiritual terms). To bring in the true knowledge of self (me, I), it takes knowing about ourselves, questioning ourselves, knowing the good side and bad side of ourselves, admitting to ourselves our strengths, and more importantly, our weaknesses and shortcomings. Beyond that, it also entails making a conscious effort to expand our strengths and good side, and marginalizing our weaknesses and bad side.

While most of us admit that everyone has good and bad in them, as a natural human tendency, we tend to first see only the bad side in others and only the good side in ourselves. Seeing (and admitting to ourselves) the bad side in us and making a concrete effort to change the bad side in us takes real (moral) character and tremendous inner strength. Once we possess that strength and gain the knowledge of ourselves, we get halfway across in bringing the light of knowledge. If you are not spiritual at all, then you are all the way there. If you are spiritual, then the remaining half is to gain the knowledge and understanding of the Supreme Self.

Again, not gaining the knowledge of the Supreme Self is not the end of the world (and does not mean you are any less of a human being). If you just attempt to gain that part of the knowledge, you are better than most of us. As is said in the Bhagavad Gita (and adapted to the current world population numbers), "Among millions of people, somewhere in some corner, one person attempts to know the Supreme Self. Among those who attempt to know the Supreme Self, only a handful is destined to learn the truth about the Supreme Self and gain complete knowledge". Therefore, the fact that you even attempted to know puts you in a different plane (making you one in a million). Even if you gain a tiny bit of such knowledge, you are better off than most of us. If you gained full knowledge, then there would be a shrine built for you and you would be named Buddha (or someone similar).

Hope that explains why it is difficult to handle the darkness of mind. The simple answer is, it is not easy to bring the light of knowledge that distances/removes the darkness of mind.

Thanks,

-Som G

Afterthought:

A dialog between a devotee and Sai Baba of Shirdi (from the movie "Shirdi Ke Sai Baba") comes to my mind.

Devotee: Baba! Is there a God?
Sai Baba: Yes.
Devotee: Then why is God not visible?
Sai Baba: Is there butter in milk?
Devotee: Yes.
Sai Baba: Why don't you see it? Or when do you see it?
Devotee: When you churn the cream.
Sai Baba: God will become visible when you churn the soul.

That, in the spiritual realm, is what it takes to know the Supreme Self. And churning the soul ain't easy!
-SG

Dear Mr. Ramesh,

I second Mr. Som's thoughts!!

There is complete darkness when we meditate, but we enter into that phase with a firm faith that there is silver light at the end of the tunnel. We, humans, lack this kind of faith. A child might be afraid of darkness because he is unable to see his mother and fears separation. Similarly, a person might be afraid of darkness because of negative experiences like accidents when it was dark, so he gets conditioned to believe that something painful will reappear during darkness. It's also true that mostly people grow up hearing stories about ghosts, demons, and Satan who appear when it's completely dark. This way, one learns to be afraid of the dark. Also, the phobia of darkness is very common among children. So, in a nutshell, there could be many social and psychosocial reasons for it. I believe it's our own imagination that makes a human crippled because of this fear. It's all in our minds, and we have created it to a major extent.

It's the fear of the unknown, as we are not able to see anything, and we lack the belief that this phase is temporary too. It's our inability to be optimistic about the light after darkness. We keep searching for the light or the source of light (happiness and enlightenment) seldom realizing that it's within us only. One has to strive to be enlightened in knowing oneself, Sansar (maya), and the Supreme Divine power in the real sense. The confidence one gains, the peace one feels by knowing oneself truly, is the strength against which no fear can stand!

"To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your path, and don't worry about the darkness, for that is when the stars shine brightest."

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