Are We Practicing the Soft Skills We Preach? Let's Discuss Our Own Courtesy

Hello Friends,

Greetings to all! This is the second time I am expressing my concern. We claim that we train people in soft skills such as good behavior, courtesy, and manners. Do we possess those skills ourselves?

Many times, a post appears asking for soft skills trainers. I am certain that many trainers, filled with hope, respond. However, unfortunately, we do not know the results at all. I recall an age-old slogan, 'apply and apply but no reply.'

Courtesy requires at least a response, even if it's just to say, "Sorry, no luck this time. Better luck next time."

I hope to see some changes, at least now.

Thanks and regards,
KS Rao

Placement consultants do the same and fiercely argue that such is their right to do. But they do not claim to be soft skills trainers.

Soft skills go beyond just cosmetic surgery on communication skills and personality. We need to understand the mind's mechanism, how our behavior gets influenced because of our programming, and what we are going to do about it. These processes require acceptability from the participants and at least five to six interactive sessions. For that, the trainer himself should follow what he preaches or speaks. That brings the results.

Hello KS,

I do hope that this note finds all things going well with you. When it comes to soft skills training, consider approaching it from the angle of soft skills education instead of training. Training is typically for the development of a specific skill set, while education is more about grooming individuals to become better and expanding their behavioral base.

People are more likely to change their behavior if they see a benefit in doing so. Soft skills such as communication, active listening, integrity, and honesty stem from a genuine desire for these qualities. Remember this nugget of wisdom: "Behavior that is rewarded is behavior that is repeated."

Lead by example, hold others accountable, and demonstrate honest friendship, and soft skills will naturally follow.

Be well,
Dr. Marc :-D

PS 63:7

You are right! Many of us don't have soft skills. I think the reason is we are so engrossed in our own selves and in our own minuscule world. This is the ailment of the day! People even two generations ago did not undergo training in soft skills because it was all taught at home. People were more polite, understanding, and managed time even though they did not have all the hi-tech gadgets of today and the luxury of the quick cars of today!

[Know Your Language](http://kyl.typepad.com)

I was going through all the comments when I thought I would add my experience too. I happened to join a management solution company (was working as a full-time trainer in a hospitality-based company) thinking my training skills were narrowed down to one industry. It took me only three months to realize that a company offering soft skill training to large companies couldn't go beyond the basic courtesy of listening to their own employees (who happen to be trainers). Modules were prepared on material downloaded (cut and paste), sessions were prepared last minute (time management :( ), and creativity was at its worst. Finally, this disillusioned me. I wish companies who hire would look beyond glossy brochures and PPTs and find how genuine the training is. I recollect the old adage, "Walk the Talk," eh?