Struggling with Stage Fright: How Do You Overcome Nervousness in Front of Groups?

I am Akash, 25 years old. I have been facing a very big problem for the past 6 years. The thing is that whenever I have to do something in front of a group of people, I get nervous. I feel like I am alone and have to do it on my own. I am scared to face a group of people (it seems I am shy about it). I start thinking about running away from the stage. If anybody can give me a solution for this, I would be really thankful. :-x

Confidence is the only way to build yourself effectively. Read inspirational and motivation-related books. Keep reading as an important practice throughout your life. Updating knowledge and effective communication through eye-to-eye contact can help you feel at ease with stage fear.

Take care and all the best in your future endeavors. Hope to hear from you soon.

Hi Akash, welcome to stage fear. This happens because you feel you are the center of attention. Just relax and speak/do as if you are interacting with your friend. If it's stage fear you are talking about, then the first thing is organizing your thoughts, controlling your breath, not cramming your lines but going with hints as you prepare. This will help if you are stuck with something. Never think that you are alone (it's the thought that clouds your mind). Make any opportunity that comes your way for demonstrating or speaking with people. Another way is practicing when you are at home (in your room) - looking at the mirror and developing yourself. I suggest you read Natalie Rogers' "Speak without Fear."

Akash,

The problem you are facing right now is a problem that a lot of people encounter when they have to do public speaking. I guess we have all faced this problem at least once in life and experienced nervousness at that time.

The first step to deal with it, as said by Jayaprakash, is to start having confidence in yourself. Just think that no matter how embarrassing or funny it may be, you have to overcome it.

Secondly, try to get a grip on English and Hindi by reading basic English books to start with, along with a good English newspaper. Read and try to understand them. Do the same with a Hindi newspaper.

Thirdly, read that newspaper out loud while standing in front of a mirror, imagining as if you are presenting to a group of people what is written in the newspaper.

If you have a group of friends or even your family members, tell them what you are trying to improve. Call 2-3 of them, have them sit in front of you, choose a topic related to your daily life (it can be as simple as what you did yesterday throughout the day), and present it as a speech in front of them. Do it maybe once a week if your friends have time and patience, or you can do it alone imagining you have an audience in front of you.

All the above-mentioned things might seem funny, and with friends, it might even be embarrassing, and they may laugh at you. But understand that's what you have to overcome, so keep doing it.

What I have mentioned above are simple things to start with that you can apply in your everyday life.

If you still think it is not enough or you are unable to do it, you can consider joining a Personality Grooming Class where they also teach public speaking.

Also, one thing I have noticed that reduces nervousness to some extent while speaking is not to have too much eye contact with people while speaking publicly. Keep looking at them but not for too long; try to keep your gaze moving from one person to another or perhaps looking at their heads, at the last row, at the front row. But don't follow this if someone is asking you something; then, surely look at them while answering.

I know it will take time for you to start applying all this, but still, Best of Luck :-)

Dear Prashanth,

I am really thankful for your reply, and I will try my best to implement all the methods. If you have time, please provide me with more suggestions. Once again, thank you.

I must tell thanks to you. I think the method of speaking "like just interacting with my friends" will work for me, and practicing in front of a mirror is also good. Give me more suggestions. I am really thankful to you. But the important part is I can start like this, but I need to make it lasting till the end of the speech.

One thing I need to let you know is - when you look into the mirror and talk, start admiring yourself. Smile at yourself, compliment yourself.

Only when you start liking yourself and what you do, you will be sure that others are also looking at you and complimenting you the same way.

Also, please note when you sit and watch a person delivering - what is it that you look for?
- Control over body language
- Confidence
- Smile
- And... yes, the message

Similarly, see what you have to improve for the crowd watching you, and what content they are looking for.

Good luck!

Dear Akash,

Only a handful of people are blessed with non-nervousness while in public speaking or who can speak impromptu. The majority face the same problem as you are facing. If you intend to avoid nervousness, you should have command over the language you want to speak in public. For example, if you want to make a speech in English, you should have a good vocabulary for which you should make a practice of reading a lot. To improve the language and speech, you should read aloud any English newspapers or English magazines for at least half an hour daily. You should try to read the editorial column which consists of effective words. In my opinion, practice makes man perfect. You should tell yourself that if others can do it, you can also do it. In the beginning, everybody faces the problem, but slowly things improve. Your courage increases day by day, and your fear will slowly disappear. Once you improve your courage, whatever you speak is only correct. If you attempt to speak something in public, you are doing a great thing. Even if someone criticizes you or laughs at your mistake, you should think that the person who laughs at your mistake may not have the courage to face the public at all. Take courage. I once again insist, 'practice makes man perfect,' and 'slow and steady wins the race.' All the best.

Regards,

Madhwa

Dear Akashh,

By virtue of the strength and richness of the site, you have already received excellent practical feedback, particularly from Prashant and Asha Mathew. Please put it into regular practice. In addition, I am giving you the theoretical/conceptual base to strengthen your conviction. Let me introduce you to the concept of Cybernetics.

Cybernetics is the science of control and communications in animals, including humankind, and machines. The study of cybernetics has been used in various ways since ancient times to attempt to explain, understand, and manage the effective workings of all manner of systems - social, organizational, animal, mechanical, electronic, and others. As such, the cybernetics concept (notably 'the first law of cybernetics') is immensely relevant to the modern development of management, and one's own role and potential within systems of all kinds.

The organization in which we work, the world in which we live, and the people around us - these are all systems.

The 'first law of cybernetics' has massive significance, especially in understanding and developing greater individual self-determination, and greater understanding, tolerance, and variety of responses to situations and people around us, which are all essential for our ability to interact and respond effectively within work and beyond.

The 'first law of cybernetics' is arguably one of the most powerful maxims for living a happy, productive, and successful life.

The 1st law of cybernetics:

"The unit within the system with the most behavioral responses available to it controls the system."

Think about it:

"The unit within the system with the most behavioral responses available to it controls the system."

The 'unit' is you.

The 'behavioral responses' are how you react and plan, and what you do and say.

The 'system' is the environment (in all respects) and the people that represent the world that you seek to succeed within.

And 'control' is the choice that you are able to exercise in achieving what you want, whatever that may be.

In addition to this, I am appending a presentation on Transaction Analysis which will probably rationalize your thoughts on interpersonal communications.

Wishing you the accomplishment of a towering personality!

Arun Chopra

Hi Akash,

Being a performance coach, I'll give you only one expert advice: to overcome your stage fear, work your best on your communication skills. Listen more and give intelligent answers, but most of all, master your English language. Soon, you'll be a winner.

Hi Akashh,

Let us appreciate the useful suggestions posted by our CiteHR friends. In my view, the root cause of your fear is low self-esteem, probably something to do with your upbringing, whatever.

Tell yourself again and again that you are great and capable of achieving great things. Relive your past successes, and every time you do a good thing, however small it may be, pat yourself on the back.

Also, have belief in yourself that you can achieve anything you want to. When you do work, if it goes well successfully, good. If it doesn't, don't take it as a failure; you have gained experience! Remember, failures are stepping stones to success.

Be the best friend of yourself, appreciating the good work done by you. But do NOT PUNISH yourself for not doing successful work. In a nutshell, have a POSITIVE ATTITUDE towards life. Not only can you overcome fear in public speaking, but also in talking to others or in a group. You will always be cheerful and confident.

Once you taste success, without your knowledge, your self-esteem improves by leaps and bounds. Enjoy that.

It does take a lot of effort and time from your side for that. YOU CAN DO THAT.

If you need a good e-book for self-development, email me at excelhr2009@gmail.com.

All the best!

Thank you all for your valuable advice. I want to learn more practical strategies to overcome stage fright. I have read all the suggestions and I agree that I now have more confidence. I have started talking with my friends confidently, and I see improvement. However, I want to maintain this confidence and be able to speak confidently to an audience. I still have some fear when facing an audience. Please provide me with suggestions and recommend some famous books to help me overcome stage fright.

Hi Akash,

According to me, the best method of overcoming fear is assuming that I am the best speaker amongst all sitting there. I am the only person who can make them understand the concerned topic. And this really works...

Thank you.

नमस्कार, शुभ संध्या, शुभ रात्रि, सुप्रभात; रात्रि को निद्रा बिहान को सुरुआत; धीरे धीरे निकलता हुआ सूरज, अपने प्रकाश से सभी को जागृत करता है;

सभी लोगों को सदा मुस्कुराते देखना चाहिए, जीवन को सजीव रहने का साधन मानना चाहिए;

Dear, have faith in yourself and your god, do the things you want to do,
Acid test - what is good for you, is good for others and vice versa.
Thanks and regards,
Sanjeev

Dear Akash,

90% of people will have to face this problem at a certain stage of time. Even I had faced this kind of problem in my earlier days. I used to feel nervous, just as I see a lot of people eagerly waiting for me to speak. I would feel my heart beating fast, my mind becoming blank, etc.

BUT,

Now I have developed an attitude of fearlessness and have the courage to speak to anyone at any time. I just practiced speaking standing in front of my family and friends, imagining them as a crowd. I started talking to myself, etc.

Try to follow my suggestions.

WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK.

HOPE TO HEAR A REPLY FROM YOU SOON.

RAJSHEKAR

Hi Aakash,

To cope with this, try talking to yourself in your mind. Analyze words, frame sentences, imagine situations, and speak to yourself as if you are addressing a group of people. It happened to me as well, but now I'm over it. Also, whenever you start a presentation or address, take a deep breath and tell yourself that this is what you always wanted to do, and you will not spoil it by any means. "I CAN DO IT." It does help, trust me.

All the best.

Dear Aakash,

Whether you like it or not, there is no other method or shortcut to overcome the fear of any kind, assuming that you need a solution on 'fear' or 'shyness' and not on the skills required. Any skills will never help you if you have fear or shyness. What do you think? Those who do not speak, especially in groups or in a group of people, do not possess skills? They do! The differentiator is a fear factor and nothing else.

If you realize and admit that this fear factor is working as a barrier or a hurdle for being a fearless speaker against you, probably I can give you the solution. I mean to say I can show you the solution, where the key is! Probe further!

Probe what exactly the problem is, fear or a skill shortage? Otherwise, the root cause will be different, and you will treat yourself differently. On the contrary, at the end of the day, you will find yourself standing at the same place where you started, resulting in a declining ratio of confidence. Be aware of it.

Take care,

M P Nahar

"Empower aspirants in such a way that they carve out their own destiny!"

Hi Akash,

I don't know you personally, so I can't say that you don't have self-confidence. I am assuming that you are thinking a lot about yourself and what others will say when you are speaking in public. Just don't think of the people sitting in front of you. Concentrate on yourself. Give some time to yourself to think. Speak slowly so that you can think and talk. Taking a bit longer or pausing in between sentences is a very handy tool to think and speak.

To build confidence, I will say, "SAB SE BADA ROG, KYA KAHENGE MERE BARE MAIN LOG." If you learn this, I am sure you can give speeches better than the Speaker of Parliament. All the best.

There is an association called 'Toastmasters,' which is a group of people from different working areas who meet periodically. Basically, this was started in the US and is spread across many countries. You may become a member there. You will be able to overcome stage fear. (I had stage fear and was finding reasons to avoid going on stages. Now I can comfortably talk to a group of 100 people.)

:) Uday Shankar

Dear Akash,

Remember, you are not the only one who is in fear in front of a group. Each person has their own fears in the back of their mind, but they are maintaining their natural calm.

Secondly, tell yourself, if you are not capable of leading this group, who else will?

Thirdly, in the long term, you are going to live life on your own terms and not according to the opinions/comments of others. If you keep these points in mind, maybe you will feel better equipped to face a group or be on stage.

Here's a friendly piece of advice: gain lots of knowledge; it will increase your confidence. However, don't try to pretend to be something you're not.

Dear Akash,

There is an association called "Toastmasters" in almost all cities, which mainly focuses on improving a person's ability in public speaking and communication. It is truly beneficial, and I have personally gained from it. If you require more details, you can contact me via email at udayshankar@in.bosch.com.

Best regards,

C.N. Udaya Shankar

Hi Akash,

Please read motivational books like "The Magic of Thinking Big." You will definitely come out of this situation.

Thank you.