Feeling Overwhelmed by a Tough Boss and Stress at Work – How Can I Cope?

Hello, To all CITE HR members, I am currently experiencing a significant amount of stress in my workplace. I\'ve been working in a private limited (PVT LTD) company for approximately 9 to 10 months.

We\'re in the process of hiring programmers and designers. Presently, our company comprises around 50 employees.

In the early stages of our company, we recruited fresh graduates and provided them with training. Now, we\'re shifting our focus to candidates who have at least 2 years of experience. However, attracting experienced individuals is difficult due to our lack of a strong brand name and our location, which is less desirable.

I am the only HR personnel, and I have a senior colleague who is rather stubborn. He rarely communicates with me, but when he does, he tends to question my decision on various matters.

Upon joining the company, I felt quite isolated and experienced numerous challenges. Three months into my job, there were rumors of me being laid off, which was quite distressing. Currently, he continues to blame me for various issues.

Excluding my boss, the rest of the team is understanding of the challenges I am facing. However, he persistently criticizes my approach and my communication skills. Despite my attempts to communicate, he constantly displays rudeness towards me.

Despite the enjoyment I find in my job, dealing with such a difficult boss has made my work life quite challenging. Occasionally, I find myself crying alone in a corner, but I always turn to faith, believing that God knows everything and will take care of things, as I am giving my all to this job.

Could anyone provide some advice on how I should handle this situation?

Best regards,

Rohini

Hi Rohini,

Adjust yourself according to the situation. One thing to remember, the boss is like your parents; he will never think wrong of you. Sometimes, you might feel that he is doing something wrong, but that will also be fruitful for you.

Regards,
Ranjeet
kumar_ranjeet@hotmail.com

Hi, Rohini.

It occurs to most of the people here. Just learn to live with it. It is not that your boss is intentionally hurting you. He is just trying to make sure that things are on the track. You are saying that he is adamant. What if he is demanding? So, it all depends on how you are taking it.

Regarding the recruitment part, you can discuss tie-ups with the local consultants available there who can supply your demands for a nominal fee.

Good luck!

Elamurugu

Hi Rohini,

When i read your posting..felt somewhat nostalgic.. :D Infact i too faced similar situation in my early stages of career..my situation was worse than yours as i was drawing higher pay package than him!..so one can well imagine..

These days workplace are often like a pressure cooker as we are all required to work effectively with many different people and personalities. However, the most critical and important relationship is the one you have with your boss.

One cannot be effective on the work front if things are not good between you and your Boss.

Typically, people facing such situations tend to quit which may not turn out be a right decision and also there's no guarantee that the next boss would be easier to work with as well !..

A sound strategy would be to deal with this situation

1. Look at yourself first as Ranjeet pointed out. See yourself from your boss's position - a difficult task but worth the exercise.

2. Improve yourself especially on communications and personality wise ..may be it is time for a makeover like "Jassi ( Mona Singh)".. :D

3. Adapt your work style with your supervisor/boss - Many times understanding your boss's style and adapting works very well..of course this requires a bit mindset change from your side and your sheer perservance to change things would help.

Try to see n understand as how your work is helping your boss's committments and targets - voila it works!..

If this doesn't work work towards change and be be patient as well.

Remember one thing, we have to help ourselves and perhaps GOD has ordained him to be your boss so that you would change n learn to face the tough world ahead and prepare you for the success ahead.

Best wishes,

Rajat Joshi

Dear Rohini,

Do remember that your boss may be an idiot, but he is still the boss. Look at it from his perspective. He may be relying on you to meet his targets on recruitment. He himself may be stressed out as he is unable to deliver and perhaps gets a dose of what you are receiving from his boss.

Your problem seems to be attracting talent to your organization. Analyze why this is so. You say you are located in a "not so good area." This is really subjective. People's wants differ - what appears to you as not a good area may be the one most desired by another. If you are indeed in a remote location with no facilities for raising families or do not have amenities that can attract the young, suggest some alternatives like compensation or a higher allowance or house rent subsidies for the unattractive persuasion of your location. Widen your search engines to deliver potential recruits, use the web, online employment agencies, employee referrals, headhunters, etc., for a wider range of recruits. You could talk to college heads/job placement officers for their former students' progress and to discover if there are leads.

You say your employer is good and you are happy - then you should go all out to remove/improve any contributory conduct on your part to your present state. Try to look at personal development, read about communications, dealing with people, and improve your communication skills. There are a number of organizations that actually provide you with opportunities to improve soft skills. Join them and make life more pleasant.

Crying in the corner is the last thing you should do - look around you, and you will find many others who would be glad to step into your shoes. So girl, rise and shine.

Regards,

Ganapathy Ramasamy

Dear Rohini,

Crying and moping will not help you. You need to pull yourself up and prove your capabilities. Remember, running away from problems will only aggravate them. Reconciling with the fact will help you get stronger and will benefit you in the long run. You need to self-introspect and find out what is lacking. Alternatively, you may also discuss with your boss and try to find an amicable way of working.

It is all in your hands. Bosses come with different attitudes; beware that you may jump from the frying pan into the fire. Buck up and start thinking out of the box. The key is a smart way of working.

Best wishes,

Vidya

HI Rohini
I can understand your situation. The best way to carry your work is plan properly. I do understand when company not having good brand name, getting good skilled people is difficult. But simply u cannot leave the topic as it is. List our all your difficulties and present to your management. Interact with u r boss and extract ideas from him. Normally people feel pressure, when they are not having sufficient experience and skills. When people end up where they don't know what to do, they feel it as pressure.
Please try to upgrade your self and be open minded. Share your problems with your boss and don't hide any mistake what you committed, If you hide one mistake, you have to make it as a habit to cover your mistakes. One fine day you will feel like quitting the job because of the created pressure.
Regards
Sathya

Dear Rohini,
Warm Greetings!
Dont worry abt ur manager or boss. According to ur mail, u can adopt these two steps in ur work place
1.Avoid Confrontation: Confrontation at the workplace is the result of frustration. It is dangerous to have confrontations, no matter if the opposite person is your subordinate or your boss. Instead of reducing stress, it might add it, especially if you realize it was the result of your mistake. Avoid confrontations; when you must, evaluate the situation carefully and if you still want to go ahead, do it in private.
2.Create Friendly Atmosphere: A light-hearted comment or a joke at the right moment can immediately reduce any tension in the air. Additionally, your coworkers will see you at your best and will inevitably lighten up as well. It's hard to be upset when you're laughing.
Take care and Cheerup.
Warm Regards,
John Jebaraj N

Hi Rohini, I hope you could find some solution for your problem. If not, do one thing: come out of the job and search for another job. But before you do it, you should make them/him understand why it happened.

Can I give you an example? Even when I was a Management Trainee four years ago, my boss (GM) used to throw water on my face for a small mistake. One day, he forcefully blamed me for an official files theft case. As a result, my confirmation was extended for six more months, which made me think about my future and eventually forced me to quit the job. Recently, I have joined Renault India (a joint venture of Mahindra & Mahindra) and informed him through another source. Two days ago, he called me and offered me a job as an Assistant Manager in his organization, which I rejected.

I am sharing this with you because most HR professionals face problems; they are bound to have them and find solutions. Otherwise, how can we solve others' problems?

Think about it. If you need assistance, feel free to call me. I have been working in Mumbai for 3.5 years. I can definitely help you.

Have a nice day.

Vishnu

9867348720

Dear all,

I thank all the seniors for providing more insights on stress.

I would like to add one more point.

Rohini: What you can do is take leave for some time to change your mindset and act according to the situation. This is common in HR.

Act according to the situation. Be friendly to all the employees in your organization; try to share your problems with seniors and seek their guidance.

In the HR Department, these kinds of situations are common, and you have to face the challenges. It is not easy to face the world.

Every day, every minute in your life is a good opportunity to learn. Show your skills, prove that you are the only one in the organization who can work and handle things. If your boss is not supportive or not good to you, prove yourself and show them how valuable you are to the company.

Motivate yourself, act according to the situation. Bosses will always appreciate it when you complete your work on time.

As per the situation, I understand that you are the only executive in HR. I am unsure whether to say this or not, but you may need to hire another person with any designation in your department of the opposite sex. This can truly help you to share and understand your problems.

Be bold and brave, face the situation. You may come across similar situations or even bigger ones in the future.

From now on, you need to condition your mind to adapt to the atmosphere(s) of corporate cultures.

You are handling a great and important task. Never lose your patience.

Say yes to all, never say no to anybody. Do your work according to yourself.

If you still feel unsatisfied, use the GRIEVANCE PROCEDURE.

I request all community members to please comment on this.

Regards, B

Rohini,

Bosses are always perceived as bad, be it in any profession, any industry, or any company. I am not blaming you. I can understand what you are going through, but have you done enough to cope up with your stress and tensions? Put yourself in your boss's place. Is he doing more work than you? Is he handling more tasks than you are? Is he facing more pressure from clients and superiors than what he is passing on to you? Most bosses are not bad, but they are perceived as such. If necessary, take a break for a few days and reflect on it. It is also crucial to understand your career expectations.

I hope this analysis will help.

Regards,
Sanjeev Sharma

Hi,

In my opinion, in this situation, you must team up with some local recruitment consultants who will definitely help you out. The benefit of partnering with a recruiting consultant is that they will provide candidates according to our specifications and those who are genuinely seeking a change.

Also, I want to tell you not to feel frustrated. In HR, these kinds of situations happen every day. So, cheer up and face the situation with more enthusiasm and eagerness.

Goodbye.