Understanding Body Language: How Everyday Gestures Reveal Our True Feelings

Here are some inputs on body language that I thought would be of great help to all our members in their day-to-day life, personally and professionally.

What you say is important, but what you do is very important. It has been researched that your body does not lie. Most commonly used body gestures and their meanings. I believe they would be of help to you.

Arms crossed over chest - Defensiveness or anxiety

Swinging arm - Want to walk away from a situation

Eye blinking - Fast blinking signals stress

Downward gaze - Feeling defeated

Taking notes - Shows interest or involvement

Hand over mouth - Can mean boredom

Arms behind head and leaning back - Looking for power or control

Unbuttoning coat - Openness

Buttoning coat - Feels trapped and wants to leave

Standing with hands behind back - Confidence

Clearing throat - Nervousness

Rubbing back of neck - Defensiveness

Hands flat on table - Ready to agree

Stroking chin - Evaluating or thinking

Foot tapping - Impatience

Rubbing the eye - Doubt or disbelief

Rubbing hands - Anticipation

Tilted head - Interest

Pulling/tugging ear - Indecision

Leaning in and talking = eagerness

Too much movement of eyes = lack of confidence and uncertainty; inability to concentrate.

[Quote: sreenivasan]

Eye blinking - Fast blinking signals stress.

Hi sree, can't this also mean some particle in the eye? Nice ones... will keep them in mind. I got a few:

- Closing the book as soon as the professor stops talking - boring lecture & eagerness to go :)
- Not maintaining eye contact - has other things on mind.
- Maintains the same posture as yours - agrees on the situation.

Hi Sunayna and Rishab,

I think it is a good addition to the article points. However, when it comes to students, the body language study does not seem to fit. For example, something I have observed in my college: students staring at the professor during a lecture without blinking, then appearing to be half-asleep with their eyes open. Additionally, students clapping excessively after a talk or presentation might indicate a desire to leave rather than showing appreciation, although sometimes it may genuinely be a positive response. There are many such observations to share and even to laugh about.

Thank you.

Hey Sreenivasan,

You're right... some things don't apply to college students. But overall, it's a fun thing to study. Different people have different ways of expressing - like in some Hindi movies, every time the person lies, he winks his eyes. I had a friend whose ears would turn red every time he wasn't sure of an answer - not body language exactly, but a nonverbal signal to understand people. :)

Hi Rishab,

When you mention even my engineering days to the present MBA day, it brings a lot of fun. Thank you. However, even body language cannot be fully relied upon since some people may have the habit of talking while looking at the sky or the ground. For them, this helps in free-flowing conversation as it is their nature. Although it may be perceived as lacking confidence in body language, for them, it is a way of speaking with confidence.

Sometimes, it is best not to dwell too much on that.

Goodbye

Hey Sree and Rishabh,

Do explain, aren't students who become managers?

First, people appear to be seeing the professor lecture without blinking their eyes, then they are sleeping with open eyes. Afterwards, students are clapping enthusiastically after a talk or presentation, which either signifies they want to leave or that it was a good session. There are many more instances like these to share and laugh about.

Hihih... funny. Our professor said we should take notes to keep ourselves busy and not fall asleep with our eyes wide open. :)

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Hi Sunayna and Rishab,

Generally, I don't think body language has more standardization. What they tell may go wrong with some people. For example, in students, if they say clapping shows you are interested, it may prove wrong.

Yes, students are future managers, there is no doubt about it. But I have a view that not all successful managers have the same body language. That is what I mean to target.

So, just that.

Hi, Sreenivasan.

Generally, I don't think body language has more standardization. What they tell may go wrong with a few people. For instance, in students, if they say clapping shows you are interested, it may prove wrong. Students are future managers, there is no doubt in it. However, I have a view that not all successful managers have the same body language. That is what I mean to target. So just that.

Body language is universal, so to some extent, we can standardize it. It has been proved through various studies. In our Sales class, we were taught body language, and I have been actively practicing it. It is quite effective.

Regarding clapping, it has two meanings:
1. They are genuinely clapping.
2. Forced to because of the lecturer/faculty.
3. They want you to get off the stage.

In all three cases, you can not only hear the difference in the clapping but also see their facial expressions and the force they are using for clapping. Even a deaf person can distinguish the difference.

If there is one thing that always encourages sharing, it is giving either verbal or body language feedback.

Here are some helpful suggestions to show that you are absorbing what another is saying:

* React physically. Turn toward the person. Lean forward. Nod your head in response. Keep looking the person in the eyes. Nothing shows greater interest than eye contact.

* Request more information. Ask a question that seeks clarification or additional details. In asking questions you are saying, "Tell me more--I'm interested."

* Reflect on what has been said with a leading statement. "That must have been rough on you." Reflective listening pays off in more intimate sharing.

* Repeat or rephrase statements with feeling. Echoing the meaning or feeling of a statement both clarifies and encourages further communication.

* Remain silent when someone is telling a story. Don't interrupt, and don't finish sentences for people. Also, don't rush to fill a pause in the conversation simply to avoid the silence--you may cut off something important the person was preparing to share.

* Refrain from concentrating on your answer or rebuttal while another is still talking--it makes you impatient to speak. When you are constantly constructing a rebuttal or a way to justify something you've said, you are merely building up a defense mechanism. As a result, you are not truly listening.

* Express your encouragement and appreciation for what the other person has been sharing. Both of these enhance healthy communication.

Remember that your ear can open the door to another's heart, so don't close it. Believe me, if you work on being a better listener, it will pay off.

Josh McDowell (The Secret of Loving)

It is crucial to remember that body language should always be studied in clusters of gestures/expressions. A single gesture or expression is like a word in communication, while clusters would be like sentences. It is always possible that we could jump to wrong or hasty conclusions based on a single instance (like the dust particle in the eye). The ideal thing to do would be not to rely only on stray body language signals at the initial stages when we try to decipher these.

Sanath