Dealing with a Difficult Colleague: How Do You Handle Negative Attitudes at Work?

I have one senior colleague. She can't seem to control her emotions and also she likes to show a :-x face. I've learned that she has some personal issues and is not satisfied with me being promoted. But hey, you gotta show that you are competent, then the promotions will come along.

At first, I didn't bother with her negativeness, but it started to affect me. I began to develop some negative feelings towards her. In front of others, she seems so positive, as the :-x expression only happens when we are among our department colleagues.

Some other colleagues and I have made an official complaint towards her to our superior, but I understood that she is also not on good terms with my boss. Oh dear, I wish my company provided "stress-allowance" to us.

I've heard someone confronted her but got spanked! Yes, I can retaliate, but it won't help much in creating a healthy working environment.

Ideas, please... anyone?

Hi Rozalina,

My heartfelt thanks and good wishes to you for being concerned towards fellow colleagues, which shows your own big-heartedness. Now coming to the problem at hand, we have to analyze the reasons for the same. You yourself have mentioned them as not getting a promotion, personal problems, and the office environment. One thing for sure, communication is a very good tool for striking a dialogue with your senior colleague, be it for any reason. Initially, she might be wary but will surely open up. My personal experience is that the best way to talk to a disturbed person is to listen to them (before which you have to make her talk, which may take some time). Secondly, forget the past and forge a bond on a personal and professional level, which will be a win-win situation for both of you. Remember, anything done good whenever to whomsoever is bound to reap positive results or even otherwise you will be deeply satisfied and contented from inside for giving it a try. Last but not least, do your homework thoroughly and do not show your emotions at any time, as your senior colleague may take time to come out of her shell and do not get carried away by her momentary reactions.

This seems to be a funny and typical comic Indian corporate case. What matters in the workplace is not personal attitude but a professional approach towards peers, superiors, and juniors to avoid such silly characters around who are there as workplace hazards.

Partho

Dear Parthasarthi,

Either we are part of the problem or part of the solution. If your word is taken as sacrosanct, then a person like Rozalina will have to wear the boxing gloves by killing their conscience. There is a hell of a lot of difference between the survival of the fittest approach and building empathetic behavioral experiences based on processes and system-driven, need-based norms.

Taking the problem head-on is one thing, and attempting to gain the limelight through others' bad fate is another. It's up to us what we actually want. I want Rozalina to see and solve the stalemate from the perspective of her being tomorrow's CEO of the organization.

There are 3 versions of every situation: yours, his/hers, and the real one!

I would suggest you do what you are paid to do... i.e., work. Discussing a colleague and whether or not she has personal issues, does not get along with the boss, or gets spanked (whatever that is) sounds like water cooler talk.

We have heard your side. No one has heard your colleague's version. How can we even consider the case when it's one-sided?

Dear Deepak,

At the workplace, we have to ensure that every employee is being respected, and the employee himself/herself shall act in preserving their respect as well as work culture and decorum. As the HR Head, we are not supposed to sermonize or correct every abnormal case because our focus should be on preserving the best talent in the organization, and waste or garbage has to be isolated in order to make things right.

An HR manager is not a teacher; the basics of how to behave and change attitude are not HR business to teach to employees who are already well-educated and trained by their schools and colleagues, etc.

Regards,
Partho

My dear Deepak,

I think you and Rozalina both need some lessons and practicals on Emotional Control. And do not worry about *Rozalina becoming the CEO*; she will, if she is good. What Rozalina is facing is a very small problem - somebody does not like her. Maybe that person is feeling insecure, and her insecurity is turning into animosity. There can be many other factors involved too. To solve Rozalina's problem, you need a Magic Wand, and also need to read a few excellent books by Dr. John Gray. (Kindly do not ask me who Dr. Gray is.)

Regards.

Dear rsk11584,

I guess you are joking. :-D Who doesn't know about the author of the Mars & Venus series?! But now that we have LISTENED patiently to Rozalina's problem, without offering any quick-fix SOLUTION, I think her problem must have been solved to a great extent.

My dear Deepak, when you read those bestsellers by Dr. John Gray, you'll understand that not all problems need a solution. Therefore, one need not be a part of the problem or solution, as suggested/opined by you. Sometimes, just LISTENING sympathetically, without being judgmental, in itself is a solution (or helps provide a solution to the concerned person). Rozalina is ALREADY FEELING BETTER and must have found her solution by now.

Pardon me if I am wrong, but my guess is: You are young, inexperienced (read as less experienced), and a bachelor. :razz:

Regards.

Hi guys! Hmm, I see a pretty serious discussion pertaining to my post. You can say it is a one-sided story because you don't hear anything from her. I'll take into account all your thoughts, ideas, and recommendations. No worries, I am still as positive as when I first entered this office.

You may say that this situation is typical, but here, it's not. Now, someone else is dealing with her mood swings. She didn't do her work right, not according to SOP, and not following the timeline. It affected some of our training - but it's okay because we are all independent individuals. The complaints are lodged, so I'd say my immediate superior will find a way to neutralize this UNHEALTHY WORKING ENVIRONMENT 😄.

I'd say that something in me urges me to release the feelings I've kept inside. So I chose to share with you guys. Sorry to have caused inconveniences to some of you.

So fellow friends, CASE CLOSED.

Hi Rozalina,

There is nothing to feel sorry about; take everything in your stride. Without your consent, nobody can make you feel sorry. Until you get your desired result, have faith in yourself and always keep looking to fulfill your objective. I urge you to change the tables and return with what you have achieved. My best wishes for your future endeavors. Personality assassination is one thing, and being part of the solution is another. Last but not least, I have to get in touch with Dr. Gray.