Are Organizations Just Like Playground Bullies? How Would You Explain This to a Student?

I found one day in a school a boy of medium size ill-treating a smaller boy. I expostulated, but he replied, "THE BIGS HIT ME SO I HIT THE BABIES, THAT'S FAIR."

In these words of the boy, he epitomized the history of the human race.
- Bertrand Russell

Can HR people relate to this? Aren't our organizations doing the same? I have been asked this question by a student of mine. How do I answer him?

Please share your views and help me out.
Cheers,
Archna

Archu,

"The bigs hit me so I hit the babies, that's fair." What more can I explain to him, other than this...

"My love, you take my breath away. What have you stepped in to smell this way?" Hope this conveys everything!!

Vinod Vijapur

THE BIGS HIT ME SO I HIT THE BABIES, THAT'S FAIR
This is very frequent not only in organizations but in most areas of our life. When it comes to our organizations when the managers get “Hit” by the Director etc they tend to “Hit” the minor employees just to get rid of that pressure. But in our day now I see this habit changing due to the open culture maybe. This still frequently exists in government organizations but does it happen in private companies as well???
In my opinion unless the BIGS are still stuck in the last era they tend to be more open towards the babies.
Comments??????

Dear all,

Of course, it happens in private companies too, actually more than that of government organizations. When the Big Boss gives pressure to the Manager, ultimately it comes down to the junior level. I saw another article in this forum stating that when the Boss is happy, everything goes well, and when he is angry, vice versa.

Regards,
Sree

Hey all,

Thanks a lot for your contribution and suggestions.

I want to know, is it only the boss who is doing the same thing, or can the peer group also do the same in the organization?

I had posted a problem long back on this forum related to a friend of mine. She is a Training Manager in an organization, an honest and star performer. Everyone in the company dotes on her skills, but she is facing a problem. The assistant of the boss somehow does not like her, and there is no reason why. The assistant is having an affair with the boss (both are married), and the boss listens to her and generally ignores the points made by any other person in the company. None of the employees like the assistant, as she makes a lot of mistakes, but no actions have been taken against her to date. :(

During the performance appraisal, when HR asked the boss for feedback on my friend, he gave some negative remarks as well. Whereas, for the assistant, the other two departmental heads have not said anything positive; the boss has written three pages to praise her.

Can this situation fit in as well? How do we solve this problem? I have given many suggestions, but to no avail. I would like all of you to help me with this.

Cheers,

Archna

Hi Archna,

Very intriguing topic, yet very true. For the case cited by you, I'll see only two options:

1. Figure out a way to prove your worth in the organization.
2. If option 1 doesn't work, move on.

The worst-case scenario would be when a person clings to a job for reasons other than professional growth.

A good example can be seen in governmental jobs; it is well known that due to the Annual Confidential Report (ACR) concept in such positions, staff often face significant challenges from difficult bosses. This is one of the primary reasons why even officers form Unions (referred to as Associations).

--Joydeep

Hi,

I have seen this sort of behavior at all levels in the organization, especially when things don't go too well. The behavior is to 'react' to the situation at that particular moment. Even a senior manager, when pulled up, wants to pass the buck onto his immediate subordinate - very rarely do we see the 'individuals' in the company taking 'ownership' and 'accountability' for the end result.

Regards,

Chris

Hi Archana,

Well, this is a very common phenomenon everywhere. I personally feel that whatever you get from the top need not be passed down. Having been in the military service, I have seen this very often, but somebody has to make a change somewhere, right? It's the same psychology that works behind in ragging also.

There are certain things that are required to be passed on, like those pertaining to the professional growth of personnel. However, it's not necessary at all that whatever you get from the top should be passed on to your subordinates. That leads to confusion; why am I being punished for no fault of mine? I would not say that you have to just absorb whatever you get from the top; you can do filtering and pass on only what is required. Since negative emotions are very contagious, it leads to only bad feelings between the boss and the subordinates, and the welfare of the team members is a primary duty of any manager.

Hi Chris, Joydeep, and Veena,

Thank you for your inputs. Could you all shed some light on the case discussed by me in the same thread? This problem is still persisting, and I would like to solve it ASAP as it is causing a lot of problems for my friend. More suggestions on this are required.

Thanks and Regards,
Archna

Hi Archna,

Firstly, I do not buy this logic of big hits me so I hit. It is generalized unjustifiably. Such victims do not know how to tackle those bigs. There are certainly instances advocating this statement, but not on an alarming scale. If an organization allows the culture of 'big hitting small', what sort of understanding and judgment would prevail there? Certainly, such a stinking culture itself will kill the organization.

Regarding the case of your friend, she is in a pitiable situation, no doubt.

The doting boss, exploiting assistant, boiling others... I do not see any polished way of bringing sense to the boss and his assistant - immoral pestilence. But there is a way. It needs ruthlessness. Since both are married (hopefully not to each other), someone should make calls to their homes and inform their spouses. Send letters on this illicit relationship and its effect on the organization to the board members (nothing wrong in sending anonymous letters). Apart from this, a very powerful action would be if all the members unite and raise their voices against the assistant to the assistant herself. Shake her up, instill a moral fear. Will the employees do this?

The above is not a fiction-idea. It was tried in an organization I worked in earlier. The boss was sacked, and his assistant left the job.

Regards, Venkat

Hi Archana,

This is the problem you can see in any organization. There will be some who like us and don't like us. Since the problem is with the assistance, your friend can do this simple task - just to understand why she hates her. This way, your friend can avoid such activities for the sake of a harmonious relationship. However, our actions should not be overly exposed to show that we are trying to please her. You know that in Tamil, there is a proverb, "Dustanai kandall thura vilagu," but here, we go one step further and try to understand why she behaves like that.

Hi Archana,

You are 100% right; it happens frequently in professional and personal life. This mentality develops during our developmental stages of life. It's a natural process to feel relieved, but at the same time, you make others victims unknowingly or unknowingly, that's not fair. When we know these things, we can stop behaving in this manner. Our generation has to develop such a culture for the upcoming generation.

Take care.

Regards,
Gambhir

Hey all,

I really liked the idea given by Venkat. I'll try and convince my friend to do that. The boss is not that bad, but his weakness is females. Actually, my friend does not give him that kind of importance he looks for. The assistant does not come from a good family, married to an alcoholic, and had three or four affairs in the past. She was actually thrown out of a job in the last company also, and no employee likes her. I think all the employees will raise their voice against her for sure, but what do we do with the boss? Thank you all once again for such good ideas. Others, please contribute your ideas.

Cheers, Archna

Hi Archana,

Just because the bigs hit you - you just can't go about hitting the babies. One has to find a way out instead of just hitting out. Emotional intelligence laced with social intelligence would pave the way here.

Regards,
Madan :)