Why Do Bosses Let Their Mood Affect Employees? Let's Discuss This Common Workplace Issue

Hi all,

Today, I want to discuss a very interesting topic. At least, I feel it is an interesting topic 😄. I would like to hear your views on the same.

Why do bosses, when they are in a good mood, expect their employees to behave the same way, but when they are in an angry mood, they throw all their anger on employees? Why are they not able to keep a distance between their personal and professional lives?

Views are welcome from everybody!

Regards,
Sujata

Hmm, because even in professionalism, a boss takes their employees personally. They own them. What do you say?

Hi Sujata,

It's all because bosses do not have any boundaries, no limits, and they are never questioned.

Regards,
Raj

Hi,

Do you watch movies? Have you watched SRK movies (movie name not recalling)? If you go and watch movies, your answer is there only.

Note: BOSS IS ALWAYS RIGHT.

Comments: It happens in personal life also. An employee scolds his own wife when he reaches home from the office. Do you know why? Because his mood is off due to an official task. So it is not only the BOSS... Ok... you will also get the same when you come in the same life.

Remember: Action vs Reaction of Newton's 3rd law.

Regards,
Sidheshwar

Hi Sidh,

The example you have set might be right, but not everybody is the same. Usually, people keep their personal and professional life different. Actually, it should be. I think people should be mature enough to handle this. Though I rarely have a fight with my colleagues, I don't show my anger to my family members.

Best Regards,
Sujata

Hi Sidh,

The example you have set might be right, but not everybody is the same.

But you see, the percentage of applicability of the same. Exceptions are everywhere. Like you may be exceptions towards your family...

Regards,
Sidheshwar

Hi Friends,

Maybe you are talking about the majority of bosses, but there are some exceptions. Also, bosses sometimes use management tricks to get the work done from subordinates. "Different strokes for different folks." One among them is to "act angry." If your boss belongs to an exceptional category and you are a good performer, then you need not have to worry about his/her mood.

Cheers,
Ramesh

Hi Sujata,

I cannot agree less with you in saying that most of the bosses become the servant of their moods and whims which are mostly related to their personal affairs. As we cannot stop bosses from acting that way, the best thing we can do is to go along with the mood of those bosses.

Regards,
Doj

It's all because of their position, power, or cadre they carry – they show their attitude. It's all about the power of the position they carry.

Hi,

Good to see the response. Different people have different perceptions on the same topic. It would be nice to have others' views on the same.

Regards,
Sujata

Dear Sujata,

The present system of Performance Rating and Promotion Policy depends more on successful achievement of objectives/targets fixed by the organization, and very little stress is given to Emotional Intelligence. For example, let us look at two Managers in different zones:

One with a low EQ attains the target of 500 crores set by the company.

The other Manager with a very high EQ attains a target of 300 crores instead of 500 crores.

Now, tell me, who will the company promote? I tell you, it will be very difficult for HR to sell and convince the management that the Second Manager should be selected. The management also needs to be very mature and brave to implement such a policy.

History of success also gives very little importance to EQ. Look at famous leaders; you will find many of them have been dictators and tyrants. There have been very few good leaders. The current situation is the same.

So, as long as we don't change the system, it will be difficult to have the leaders we dream of.

And there is a saying: "There are two things in life which you can never choose: - Your Parents and Your Boss."

The only thing you can do as an HR professional is to arrange for training on Emotional Intelligence.

Regards,

SC

Hi Swatisk,

Well, you have quoted a very good example. I am impressed 😄. You are right. I think we should do something to improve EQ. As you rightly said, we should arrange trainings on Emotional Intelligence. That would be the best option, I gauge.

Thanks for your comment.

Regards,
Sujata

Dear Sujata,

It is human nature to lash out at somebody else for a bad day.

It is not only your boss, but even executives tend to reflect their moods because, as you very well understand, every job, whether a Cost center or Revenue center, performance is of utmost importance.

What do you do when your boss fires you? It sets off a chain reaction because you might in turn release your anger on somebody else or start looking for a change.

I am not taking sides or blaming anybody, but when you move up to his position, you will also behave in the same manner.

You should also understand that the boss is responsible for the success of a team, and he is liable for failures as well. It is the work and performance pressure that results in mental upset. Don't blame him, but approach him and tell him if he is wrong. At most, your appraisal would be affected. Look at the positive side. He might recommend you as an aggressive person. Be subtle in your approach, but being straightforward, especially when it is not your mistake or error, does help you in the long run. Remember, your negotiation skills would count.

Hi Sujata,

Good to read your topic. It's really a nice one. Most of the days, we go through the same situation relating to the moods of the employer, whether good or bad. Well, it's human nature, and it's obvious to many that the anger from one side is often reflected on the other.

The main psychological reason is that there is one heart and one mind for all human beings, and all our day-to-day activities are recorded in our minds like a tape. Our minds get blocked when faced with obstacles, and at that point, the problems start bothering us, raising questions like "why? why? why?"

Behavior doesn't allow us to keep away from these problems at work, and thus, personal and professional lives get intertwined. Therefore, it's crucial for an employer to maintain a good environment in the workplace so that they can behave well at all times.

Neha

Hi all! :)

I do agree with Raj and Sujata. It's not very simple to identify the exact reasons for the mood swings of our bosses and why subordinates are being treated as mere puppets (with their choice of emotions), but for sure, this dates back to the feudal-mental set up of Indians. The lust to command and extract anything desired from the subordinates has not yet left the minds of people. The moment you are the boss, you are on the other side of the road. You forget your perceptions about your superior's behavior and unknowingly or unintentionally act like your bosses. If they have somebody higher up who is not that considerate, for sure, you will have the wrath of high-tide mood swings.

Regards,
Amita

I've witnessed the same in my own organisation. I would rather wish to extend the question - Does the blunt reaction affect only the underdogs? Perhaps I would prefer to stick to this notion of mine, I've never seen my bosses showing resentment towards the employees who are considered as drivers of the organization's growth.
Cheers!
Vivek

Hi Vivek. To some extent, you are right, but not always the case. When he is really in a bad mood, he can throw his anger on anybody 😛
Don't know what others say!
Regards, Sujata

Hi Suji,

Do you know the philosophy of riding bikes? Let's state an example of how the subconscious mind works. As we practice by learning, reading, training, and observing, our minds function automatically according to the situation. For instance, you apply the brakes whenever you need to, whether knowingly or unknowingly. Would you agree with this?

From childhood, we are influenced by our peers, teachers, and relatives. We are taught that when we are angry, we should shout or throw things. These behaviors become ingrained in our subconscious minds. When people face similar situations, these behaviors can come out automatically, similar to how we apply the brakes.

This is why you may hear people say, "I don't know why I behaved like that." I hope this explanation clarifies why these reactions occur.

Thank you.

Hi Sujata,

You are 1001% right. Although we feel disturbed by the same, we still have to be calm as we can't change our boss at once. Moreover, all our office rules say:
1. The boss is always right.
2. If the boss is wrong, refer to the first rule.

Anshul :)

Hi Suji,

Thank you for your response. Yes, what you said is right; such a thing is a wrong practice. It is not possible to change attitude all of a sudden. The first time when we cook, we unknowingly make a mistake of burning our hands, right? The next time before we start cooking, the mind automatically recollects the past incident and says, "Beware this time," am I right? Because we humans make mistakes unless we realize what we do is a mistake, right?

So, here we just have to make clear that the reaction to such a situation (showing anger) is wrong, and an indifferent attitude is more appropriate. Once we set it in our minds, even if our friend makes us angry, we never show it back to them. It may seem silly, but it has a profound meaning. Just think about it.

Thank you.

You are right, but much of a boss's behavior is a result of his psychological state, which will inevitably have an impact on his leadership style. The decision-making theory taught in MBA programs will undoubtedly have an effect as well.

Hi Suj,

You know our boss has to play a leader's role, and to lead a team, it is essential that every member of the team acts and reacts according to the requirements and instructions of the leader. The leader is the only one who plans and decides how to implement a policy, and the most important part is monitoring the same.

So every boss, or you can say leader, likes or wants people to behave in the same manner as his mood is.

Sujata,

If you have gone through a few psychology books, it is well written: "We perceive things as we are, not as they are." In other words, whatever is good as per our view, we wish to see, and it is a human tendency. I don't think there is anything wrong in it.

For example: suppose five people are at the same place called to see the things at the same time and ask for what they saw. You will see every person's answers will be different. Some people will see a car, some a tree, some maybe a girl. It happens because they want to see what they wish to see; otherwise, everything is available to see for all.

When the question of the boss comes, we are usually impressed with their position, so we relate to their emotion and feel the same emotion they have.

It is as simple as that.

Regards,
Pranav

Hi,

The mood of the boss is unpredictable. After all, he is also a human being. So, to be on the safer side, it is always better that we change accordingly. 😉 In extreme cases, it's better to discuss and make things clear.

Regards,
Swapna

I feel that it's a person's weakness if he shows his anger on others who have nothing to do with their anger. If a boss is not able to compose himself or suppress his anger towards people not related, he cannot be a leader.