Dear Shyamali,
There is a saying that people who mix up their personal and professional life to such an extent where one affect the other is sure to fail in both. Glaring examples have been there in history: Antony and Cleopatra.
The basic thing I feel is not to get involved in the personal life of an employee. Yes, if they seek our help and suggestions we should counsel them but not otherwise.
The whole concept of Corporate counselling takes into account two things:
1) The employee is a rational human being who is interested in growth in his career.
2) The employee wants to change but needs help in changing.
So, as HR we are not in the business of changing Romeo into Bill Gates. This is best left to external consultants, professional psychartists. There are reasons for me saying all these. It is not that I feel you should throw the guy out. Keep him, but the basic ingredients needed to change a person of this sort is not present in majority of Corporates. Some of these are:
1) You need to be a very good friend and confidant, only then will the person fully confide in you, but in Office do we really have or foster such relationships??
2) As a friend you need to spend a lot of time with the employee and also interact with the girl and be their common friend. Do you have the time??
3) By being a common friend then you have the job of either cementing the relationship or to convince the employee that is better to leave the girl by showing him facts, reasons and logic that they are not made for each other. Do you want to give the effort??
Just think, after giving so much effort and time you found out it was a mere infatuation.
Well, please tell the guy that the Company is not liking the attitude, and tell him about the course of action the Company will take if he does not change.
In the end please find out about the girl, you never know whose daughter it might turn out to be. It might be the reason for the type of attitude he is carrying.
Regards,
SC