Feeling Overlooked at Work? How to Communicate Career Goals Without Complaining

Dear Seniors,

I am striving to gain a particular career advancement within the organization I am currently working for. However, my efforts to convey this to my boss have all been in vain. Moreover, I often feel sidelined and isolated in various situations. I notice that my boss appreciates me for tasks that I am overqualified for, and only occasionally engages with me in a friendly manner. I am eager to address this issue with my seniors who are based overseas. Could you please provide me with guidance on how to communicate my concerns effectively without coming across as merely complaining, and help me articulate my desire to be more involved?

Thanks & regards

Dear Pleasehelp,

Here's what you can do:

- Have a one-to-one discussion with your boss about your career aspirations and expectations from the company you are working for.
- Ask him what qualities/skills he thinks you should improve on in order to achieve your goals.
- Don't wait for your boss to give you work or assign you to some job. Be proactive and suggest to your boss about your interest in taking up a particular assignment.
- If your boss doesn't share information without then look for other sources instead of wasting time complaining. But stay informed about what's going on in your department and in your company in general.

You will have to prove to your boss that you are more capable than what he thought and that you can take up serious and complex assignments at work with confidence.

Such problems are pretty common in any work environment, and taking this to your seniors overseas will seem a little immature. However, if you feel things are getting out of hand, then please go ahead... as a last resort.

Hope this helped.

And Mr.Bad Looser: Get a Life!!!

Dear Friend,

I am sorry I don't want to call you by the name "PLEASE HELP." So, I should call you Friend.

Anyway, Friend, please don't worry. Things will get alright. You just need to give time to your work and be smart in working and presenting whatever you do in a logical and soft manner.

Never say no to your boss, but at the same time, whatever you do as per his delegation, keep a record of that signed by him and CC to some of your other colleagues too.

Try to be a proactive subordinate and protect your boss in public, even if you know that he is not right. Just support him for the sake of your departmental integration, and later on, you can softly advise and take his burden on your shoulder. You will find gradually he will start depending on you, and to retain you with himself, he will start thinking about your career growth and your job profile.

So, Friend, we are always there to support you. Please don't lose heart. Be cool and always wear a smile on your face. It helps a lot in fighting internal problems. Good luck.

Take care,
Anju Prince

Hi Friends,

I entirely agree with Deepthi. Friends, you should talk to your boss initially. Please do a one-on-one session with him, tell him all your problems and queries. Maybe you both are misinterpreting each other. So please talk to your boss first instead of complaining to the overseas seniors.

Regards,
Sakshi

Well, I have a message for those who got angry by the comments of Bad Loser.

We have a case study put up by one of our members, and as told by one member, we surely should empathize with him/her.

But if we correctly read the post, it is derived that the poster is calling his boss weird and stating the incidences in which he claims that his boss is acting weird. But it is not necessary that what he/she told about their boss might be true. It could also be otherwise, and this person who posted this thread might be in real need of psychological help. So, your ideas like having a one-to-one with the boss, how can it help if, in the real scenario, the boss is correct in their place, and this person is unnecessarily cribbing about the boss.

SAD SAD thing is that major members on this site failed to understand Bad Loser's point of view and directly started abusing him. Shame on you people who don't even know how to solve case studies and start giving your replies based on hearing only one person's view and without getting detailed data. Imagine you being the good boss, and if your subordinate is having such a problem and accuses you by taking a one-to-one meeting, how will you feel? So before giving any advice, think twice. And to those who post their problems before acting on any advice, think four times.

Now let me analyze the problem of the thread starter:

Dear Seniors,

I am striving to gain a particular career from the organization I am currently working for. However, my efforts to make my boss understand this have all gone futile. Above all, I am sidelined/kept isolated on almost all the occasions.

DEAR, THERE ARE MANY OCCASIONS WHICH BOSSES DON'T LIKE TO TELL OR INVOLVE THEIR SUBORDINATES, AND IT'S NORMAL. IT MIGHT BE THAT EITHER THE SUBORDINATE WOULD NOT UNDERSTAND THE ISSUE OR THE ISSUE MIGHT BE OF SOME IMPORTANCE, OR THE BOSS WISHES TO KEEP IT SECRET. SO, DOES THAT MEAN THE BOSS IS WEIRD?

I find my boss appreciating me for tasks for which I am overqualified and being friendly with me only occasionally.

WELL, BE HAPPY YOUR BOSS APPRECIATED YOU. AND DON'T EXPECT ALL JOBS WHICH YOU GET TO BE AT PAR WITH YOUR QUALIFICATIONS. AND I NEVER KNEW A BOSS HAD TO BE FRIENDLY WITH YOU. NOW HERE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN BY BEING FRIENDLY...

I am wanting to address this to my seniors who sit overseas. Could you please guide me so that I do not sound complaining and at the same time I could put across my point of getting me involved.

Thanks & regards

SO BAD LOSER'S COMMENT IS ALSO RIGHT FROM THE OTHER POINT OF VIEW.

Dear Friend,

I think your boss has formed a perception about you. I agree with my colleagues that you should directly talk with your boss instead of involving other people, as it would further worsen the situation. Direct communication would provide you with deep insight into the perception that your boss had in his mind about you. Sometimes we feel neglected or ignored in important projects, particularly when we know that we are better qualified and skilled in accomplishing the same, but the boss selects someone else to do the job. Don't be disheartened and have a positive approach. Wish you the best of luck.

Dear Mr. Bad Loser,

My kind advice is to never demotivate any person when you can motivate them. As an HR professional, listen first and provide the best possible options. It's like if a person wants to do something extreme, instead of encouraging them, you discourage them further.

Dear Mr. Help,

Never give up hope and remember that "the boss is always right."

As an HR personnel, understand what your boss wants. This can be a challenging situation for you but also a learning opportunity. Bosses may not explicitly express their likes and dislikes, so it is up to you to identify them.

In a recent incident, I had a late-night meeting at 11 pm with my Chairman. The next day, he indicated we could continue with the same project. I was prepared with all the necessary materials and awaited his call. However, he did not reach out. At 11 am, he left the office with a serious look in my direction, which left me feeling like I had made a mistake.

I immediately consulted the Director and shared the entire situation. He advised me not to wait for the Chairman's call next time. A month later, a similar situation occurred. So, the following day, I proactively approached him with all the materials discussed in the previous night's meeting.

Some tips I recommend:

1. Identify and understand what the boss wants without trying to change the existing system.
2. Be prepared when tasks are assigned and inform/show completion promptly.
3. Prioritize the boss's work.
4. Avoid showing personal feelings as an HR professional in any circumstance.
5. Lastly, do not expect your boss to change. Adapt yourself quickly without compromising your ethics and principles.

Enjoy the experience. You will encounter various types of individuals everywhere.

With Regards,
Vivek 😂

Quote from Bad Loser: "VISIT PSYCHOLOGIST... 😄

I AM SERIOUSLY ADVISING YOU... 😉

YOU HAVE SOME INFERIORITY COMPLEX... 💡"

Dear all,

I have also checked all the posts of BADLOOSER. As the name suggests, that really the person is a bad loser. This person is not on this site to share knowledge but only to comment on all of us.

I request the moderators to please block/restrict these types of people from entering this site. Otherwise, there will be a time when the site will be full of these kinds of people, and the original motive of this site will be completely ruined.

Dear Mr. Ravi,

Agreed that there are two sides to a coin and we shouldn't consider only one person's point of view. Maybe the employee is at fault and the boss is right as you suggested.

But you should read all the other posts/comments made by this "SMART ALEC - BADLOOSER" (or so he considers himself), then you will understand why everybody reacted in such a manner. For every query asked by members, he only has useless comments to give. There are other members who give comments that do not always favor the person who poses those queries because there are two facets to everything. But nobody gives such unwarranted, outrageous comments.

Maybe now you will feel that since BADLOOSER is being frank, we should empathize with him and understand his viewpoint.

Dear Deepthi,

I'm also facing a similar problem with my current boss. I have tried to do most of the things that you've suggested, e.g., proactively coming up with work, but no, I haven't had a one-on-one discussion with her (because I fear for my job in these uncertain times). The main problem I feel is poor communication between us because she's in Mumbai and I'm in Delhi. While she does appreciate me, it's usually for unimportant things. Even though I've explicitly asked her to involve me in things, she doesn't do it.

Sometimes I wonder if she's insecure because she isn't an MBA, hasn't worked with MNCs as opposed to me, who has even worked abroad. But I'll never move to Mumbai, and also, I think I still need guidance from her as she is definitely far more experienced than me. She does keep me in the loop of what she's doing but doesn't involve me, doesn't ask my opinions, we don't do any brainstorming, etc., and whatever information she does share with me doesn't help me much in my work either.

She's not well-versed with all aspects of HR (we're HR professionals) and is outsourcing everything even though I've shared with her my interest in doing it internally. I just feel that I'm learning nothing at all.

Of late, we did meet up due to conferences, etc., and I thought we did bond, but all is back to square one now that I'm back.

She complains of being overworked all the time but still wants to do it all herself and not delegate anything to me.

She reports to the CEO, and I don't see any point in taking it up with him as he thinks that she's an 'Angel'!!

Please advise how I can overcome the physical distance and create a good and beneficial relationship with my boss so she can delegate work, and I can learn.

I support face-to-face communication with your boss. Just be open and make him aware that you can see what is happening around. Try to be obedient and do what is required of you while also being assertive.

---

Dear Arnold,

Here, once again, you are underestimating your boss. You think you are smarter and more knowledgeable than her, but in HR, there are many people working without professional qualifications and enjoying their time in air-conditioned rooms. This is sad; I even pity you, dear.

Do your best. I hope all organizations follow strict practices while recruiting and remove all non-MBA HRs from their teams. Maybe the non-MBA HRs in this forum may get angry at me, BUT I DON'T CARE :-x

Dear Arnold,

Your problem is lack of experience and innovative skills to navigate the corporate HR agenda by sending good proposals for approvals. When I was initially working at the unit level, I had the same issue with corporate HR vice presidents. However, I proposed many new initiatives with the consent of my unit-level management. As a result, I gained corporate approval and subsequently succeeded in elevating my position in management.

Despite being below the corporate HR head, I was always consulted before any approval on HR issues. This practice helped us build faith and trust in our abilities within the corporate structure.

You have to overcome this aspect. As for this post, there is nothing new; millions of such quotes will follow because the survival of the fittest is a law of business and nature, of course.

Entire responses to this post are overly sympathetic, overacting, and overreacting.

Badlu

I am also facing the same problem like the login name "Please Help". I should not say anything against my immediate boss because he is my senior. But the problem I am facing is that he is very diplomatic. If he is giving me some instructions now, after some time or some days he will say to me that he did not give me any sort of such instruction. I really face a problem at that particular moment.

Moreover, he never appreciates my work. He appreciates others' work. I really get demotivated. Please suggest.

Regards,
Anindya

I guess this posting is too late. But I don't find anything wrong or humiliating in what Mr. Bad Loser earlier commented. It's left to the user to take the message the literal way or understand what he meant between the lines. It just meant you are overreacting. Stay cool and focused.

Dear Friend,

I appreciate and support your response to the comments of Mr. Bad Loser! Really, CiteHR should take some initiative to remove such bad advisors from all its blogs! Every starter like me and many others need valuable assistance from seniors or colleagues on various routine HR administrative queries. We get the required support, assistance, and motivation here on almost all of our queries. Demotivating remarks from abusive users will hamper the very purpose of this blog. So all Bad Losers should seriously change their attitude, if not, stop visiting CiteHR!

Regards