How Do I Handle Constant Criticism from My Boss in an HR Generalist Role?

Dear Friends,

I am in a difficult situation these days. My boss is highly critical of me and my performance. I try my best to adapt to his ways of working and abide by what he says, but I feel I am not able to satisfy him. According to him, my performance is below average. It is sometimes challenging to receive such criticism.

He tends to be critical in front of fellow employees, which further demotivates me. What do I do? I am in an HR Generalist role where I have to manage all HR and administrative activities, including travel, visas, transportation, leave records, and database management.

Please provide me with a solution.

Regards,
Sarika

Hi Sarika,

I understand your situation, and I know how it feels when one goes through this. But why don't you find out what is the real reason behind all this? First of all, don't get demotivated (I know it's easy to say this) because self-motivation is the best. Secondly, try to find out why he is underrating your performance. If possible, confront him and ask him, "Where have I gone wrong?"

Cheers

Hi Sarika,

Impressing your boss does not mean you should blindly follow his orders and stick only to his ways of doing things. If you find a better way, discuss that with him. Speak to your boss about what he thinks is lacking in your performance and what you should do to improve it. Also, request that he not criticize you in front of a third person as it is highly demotivating. Let him know that you are still in a learning stage and would be happy if he could guide you instead.

But don't get demotivated. Some bosses don't give their appreciation easily. Perhaps they feel criticism helps the employee to improve even more. They fail to realize that it might hamper growth too. All the best!

Hi Deepthi and Rajni,

Thanks for the comfort you have provided. I feel maybe he has in his mind that the profile I have is not of much importance. I mean he doesn't give much weightage to my functions and what I do to achieve my objectives. For him, the sales and the supporting functions of sales are more important, which I feel is the basic reason for his being critical of me and my role.

I don't know how to tackle that. He is a terror sometimes. I try to be patient in front of him and try to ignore his sarcastic comments. But I think this gives him more flexibility to say anything to me. Please advise. It is becoming difficult to handle.

Regards,
Sarika

Hi Sarika,

Sometimes people fail to realize the importance of others' functional roles. You take care of HR general functions like transportation, visas, etc. Let's assume if you do not arrange for visas on time for the sales team who need to go onsite (abroad), the company loses business. This is the point you need to talk it out with him. Reason why your role is important as his... Make him realize how important your role is and why you think you deserve appreciation for the same.

Cheers!!!

Hi Sarika,

I agree with Deepthi's advice to you. If your boss doesn't realize your worth, it's high time you show him exactly that. Just try to make a list of all tasks done by you on a regular basis and then discuss the same with him. Just don't feel miserable yourself; make him think from your point of view. If you feel overburdened, let him know that. The need is mutual for you as well as your organization. There is always a dearth of good people for the jobs.

Regards,
Ranjeet

Dear Sarika,

I agree with Ranjit's suggestion to list down the activities you do on a daily basis. This will help him understand your hard work for the company and boost your confidence during appraisals or performance reviews.

It is important to note that poor performance does not justify ill-treatment of an employee. If Ranjit reacts harshly or rudely towards you in front of others, consider discussing the situation with him or escalating the matter if necessary. It is the manager's responsibility to train and support employees to improve their performance, even when it falls below the standard.

Furthermore, every employee deserves respect regardless of their role or any other factors. It is crucial to address any attitude issues promptly, whether it involves a lack of appreciation for others, a pessimistic outlook, or venting job pressure onto you. Understanding the root cause of such behavior is key to taking appropriate actions in a timely manner.

Regards,
Gayathri

Sometimes, performance also does not count. Please check what problem he really has. These are some of the tactics adopted by seniors to break the confidence of the employee. Either he wants something different from you, or he wants you to quit. So evaluate this first. The reason behind my saying is such a scenario has been witnessed by me closely.

Hi dear,

I am really amazed to see that you have shared your emotions with your friends. It is a better way to share our joy and our sadness. You should especially share your demerits or what makes you feel hurt because it will give you relief and comfort as a part of the body and mind.

Regarding your boss, what I say is take it in a positive way where you can learn something or it may teach you a lesson to cope with the situation in the future. If you feel that you are lost speaking with your boss, then let it be solved. If it does not end, then end your job. But keep in mind wherever you go, problems are common, sometimes more, sometimes less. So, think again about your career and future. If you hope that you will be better honored in some other place, then get out of it. Because peace and life are more important than money or position.

Thanks,
Prashanth Joseph

Why is there a need to teach people things like not to be ticked off or sarcastic in front of a third person, or to belittle someone? Perhaps the boss has not learned his lessons well. Grooming is a sacred duty of every senior unless one is not confident oneself or is feeling insecure about the juniors and their capabilities.

K. Srinivas

Dear Sarika,

Set milestones for the next quarter and present them to your boss. Strive to achieve the milestones on time. Send the monthly leave report to all line managers regarding their team members if the firm is small. Begin sending emails on employees' birthdays. Monthly, engage with each employee individually to understand their problems or concerns. Compile a list of issues that require immediate attention and discuss them with the boss.

If your boss is unable to see your work, you must showcase your efforts. "Jo dikhta hai, wahi bikta hai," so demonstrate your work in a manner that cannot be overlooked by anyone in the company. Begin identifying suitable candidates for the company during recruitment. There are numerous ways to demonstrate yourself as the most dedicated and busy employee.

Regards,

Hi Sarika,

I know you are going through a hard time, but demotivating yourself is not a solution to your problem. Try to find out the reason for your boss's behavior. If you are unable to identify the reason, then talk to him about the problem and try to find a solution.

Rakesh

Dear Sarika,

Please stop feeling bad. First, analyze whether your boss is doing it with the intention of changing your profile and posting you in some other, better position, or if he is doing it to belittle you. I had a boss who used to yell at me but would promote me and speak highly about my performance with management. It is better if you list down your tasks and also make a presentation to him over a cup of tea, explaining how you go about your work. I hope things will turn out well. Don't think about changing jobs because this world is full of such bosses.

Dear Sarika,

The problem lies with your reporting manager's management style. He might believe that he can drive things from you through criticizing your performance, so that you will stretch more to prove yourself.

He could have adopted this management style from his superior, who might have been successful at some point in time.

However, this management style will no longer work.

I would suggest, please don't drain too much energy into this issue. Concentrate on your work; otherwise, this itself will lead you to poor performance and less concentration on the given activity. Your boss might move out at any point in time, but you should not receive any visible bad remarks in terms of your performance in the company or with your head of department.

Professionally, have a dialogue with him after successfully completing some important tasks and be clear about your role and his expectations as a job holder from you. This way, you can be more focused on deliverables and results. After some time, he will realize your potential and recognize you.

Please remember, if he is criticizing based on your performance, take it positively and improve yourself.

If he is criticizing based on his perception about you, please never mind and concentrate on your work.

Hi Sarika,

With age and experience, some bosses tend to become egotistic. When they perceive that their juniors have better capabilities, there is a high likelihood of them feeling insecure - something that the junior employees may not realize, causing unnecessary mental strain.

While there could be reasons other than performance for a boss to criticize, focusing on performance is the most constructive approach to delivering criticism.

A face-to-face discussion is crucial at this point in time. Stay positive and address the issues directly. 🙂

I hope this helps!

Dear Sarika,

It takes a lot of maturity and understanding on our part to take criticism. Please do not take it as any personal remark on you.

If I were in such a predicament, I would do the following:

1. Introspect, without feeling victimized, the entire scenario. Will recollect if I ever had offended him in any way. Or if any action of mine/mannerism is not liked by him.
2. Did I take his feedback, including performance feedback, seriously/constructively and improved?
3. Will take an appointment with him and talk to him in a matter-of-fact manner about the reason for his being so crossed with me. Put my thoughts on the issue in the most objective way.
4. Analyze his feedback in the most neutral manner and will try to improve in areas where the feedback is found to be valid.
5. Will leave the boss if I come to the conclusion that his criticism is not valid or ego/personality-based.

Best of luck,
Mohan

Hi Sarika,

You need to understand the requirements of your position as well as those of your boss. Such things do happen in many organizations. Go to your boss and find out his/her requirements. I am sure this will solve the problem.

Regards,
Bharat

Hi Sarika,

First things first, you have to show maturity in your approach. Daily, list out your assignments for tomorrow and what you are going to do. The next day, in the morning, meet with your boss and report to him your agenda for the day. Generally, reports start with listing priorities, which may be as follows:

- Statutory Compliances - PF, ESIC, Factory Act Compliance, etc.
- Legal Matters - Pending Court Cases and follow-up with lawyers.
- Meetings with Government Authorities.
- Other meetings.
- Training Schedule.
- Recruitment process and Interview Schedule.
- Transfer cases.
- Full & Final Settlement cases.
- Performance Appraisal.
- Annual Increments.
- Anything else that consumes your time.

If you brief your boss daily, he will come to know exactly what you are doing and your utility to the organization. Because most HR or P&A functions have very silent features that are not visible, we have to highlight them to our boss. Simultaneously, the boss will recognize your role as a cushion to him, and he will not need to pay attention to critical issues of HR or P&A functions, knowing you are capable of handling them independently. This will earn you recognition from him as you save his valuable time.

Regards,

Sawant

Sarika,

If your boss is indicating that you have a performance issue, make a commitment to sit with him and work out your performance objectives – something that you both can agree to and that you both agree is realistic, given that it is you alone.

Once the objectives have been agreed, work out the percentage of time that you need to devote to each objective so that you can deliver the outcome/s expected. Once you start working with the numbers, you will know if you need help or not to deliver – 100% means you are within your comfortable zone with regard to your competence. I would suggest you stretch yourself to about 120% so that you remain challenged. Beyond that, you will need assistance to deliver.

As for critiquing you in front of other people, there is certainly another issue sitting behind what is going on, and your boss is using your performance to manifest his emotions.

Have a very open conversation and let him know how you feel (respectfully). Recognize that it may be a difficult conversation and say so (this usually helps in lowering the temperature of the atmosphere). But difficult as it may be, let him know that you have the best interests of the organization at heart and that you are willing to assist in resolving whatever issues are presenting. Ask him to be open and honest with you as well so that you both know where you stand.

Indicate that you are feeling some tension and you would like to know what the issue is so that you can both agree on a workable solution to continue to deliver superior results to the organization.

Indicate your willingness to forge a professional relationship that can be a hallmark for the rest of the organization and your desire to protect the image and reputation of the organization because at the end of the day, the behavior of persons within the organization defines both its culture and reputation.

My own sense is that the tension may be stemming from the fact that you are doing very well and possibly with little guidance from him. And that's fine because that is what you are supposed to be doing. I agree with other persons who have suggested you attempt to get to the root cause of the issue – no guarantee this is going to be easy or that he will accept that there is a root cause.

The bigger issue here, at least for me, is the male/female divide, which organizations and men, in particular, refuse to acknowledge as the fundamental source of a lot of the conflicts that present in organizations. This is especially so where women prove themselves to be competent enough to manage their business affairs with little support (we actually have to work twice as hard – unfortunately).

I say to speak your truth respectfully. Be consistent in delivering superior results. Keep all relevant documentation as evidence of your performance. Continue – as much as is comfortable for you – to engage him in conversations that bring both of you to the point of agreement on what is best for the organization.

Hope this helps.

Angela

Dear Friend,

We all have gone through such experiences at some point or another. I would like to share with you the strategies I have adopted.

- You need to analyze whether there is anything that is probably lacking in you. Maybe you are not able to complete the work within the given time frame, or perhaps you have not done the job in a proper manner and there was scope to do it better. Once you realize that there are some areas where you need to do better, concentrate on that and try to improve.

- During criticism, it is better to avoid prolonged arguments. Sometimes, if criticism is made in front of others, there is no need to feel bad. Cool yourself in your office, reason out, and then, if required, go back to your boss when he is alone to discuss any differences in perception. Replying back to him or reasoning out with him in others' presence will only further deteriorate the environment.

- Lastly, if you are good at your job and you are enjoying your work, let me repeat - If you are enjoying your work, these things will gradually fade when your boss realizes your importance.

The ultimate mantra is to focus on any gains from criticism and leave the rest. Tell me, how many people would remember that once in your college days, a certain lecturer criticized you? No one remembers. Life moves on; do not hold onto things in your mind.

Hey Sarika,

First, let me tell you that you are not alone in this kind of experience. Second, all the suggestions you got from your friends may not work as I can see that the door for you to "discuss" with him may not be open as he has a bias against you the moment you contact him.

Third, let me tell you a practical way: For this to apply, you must know that you are very good at whatever you do - you know it. His talk will not change your performance for the better. Having known that, be cool to ignore his criticism and equip yourself with a determination not to be hurt. However, his criticism is crucial if you take it objectively. Look at it objectively. Know the words and incorporate them into your vocabulary while dealing with him. Since you know he thinks you have made a mistake, there is no point in getting into an argument with him.

Just say, "Oh my! I did it again! Boss, what do you think we can do now?" Keep the focus on this question to extract a practical answer from him. If he makes a general comment, do not be upset. Insist on an answer from him on what can be done. This will open his mind to learn that you are genuinely concerned about improvement, making him responsible for his words. It puts him in a position to provide a solution, making him careful about criticizing you easily next time.

Keep your facial expression dignified, not showing hurt, anger, or disgust. Speak deliberately and slowly. Do not appear too eager to please him, even though you are. Keep your cool, and hopefully, you will win him over. Win him and his heart. Stay confident no matter what happens.

Let us see if it works. If it does, this is only the first step to gaining his respect, which you can keep in your emotional bank account.

Cheers and Best wishes,
Salah

Hello Sarika,

Here are a few tips to make your worries disappear:

1. Make an introspection - Are you trying to do too much and please your superior?
2. Be yourself always - Learn to accept the ups and downs in performance.
3. Do not confront or get confronted - act according to the situation.

Zig Ziglar, an internationally known motivational speaker, has said, "When we have positive input, we have positive output, and when we have negative input, we have negative output." A positive mental attitude coupled with a good analytical mental approach to workplace happenings would take you up in the organization.

P.S.: Develop a positive mental attitude to love what you do every day rather than looking for the things you love to possess! Good luck to you.

Dear Sarika,

I read your problem in depth. My analysis and method to deal with a problem or a comment of your boss... remember, you view as per your lens view which is formed by your past experiences of your life and the way your boss reacts is also based on his vision. Hence, I request you not to get disturbed and further add to it by yourself... instead... be authentic and take his time and discuss with him with eye to eye contact to clarify. Be bold for this action and also prepare yourself in all aspects to authenticate that you have contributed as per the requirements of your Role Occupancy - Tangible & Subjectively.

Please mail me at vbvelury@yahoo.com after taking action as suggested above.

Past experiences of your life affecting the present state of being:
- I know that I know
- I know that I don't know
- I don't know that I don't know

Regards,
Vijay Bhasker V.
0/9845186290

After getting your point of view, it appears that your boss is prejudiced against you or he may be an irrational person. The best thing to do here is to find out what things he might have not liked about you in the past. The most important factor to consider is simple human psychology - being an excellent resource can sometimes have a negative effect on your growth as well because it raises the boss's expectations. Secondly, there can be situations where you outshine your boss - be it demonstrated by your work or by feedback from others.

After you have rationally evaluated the causes keeping the above in mind, try to justify the situation.

Nevertheless, an employee has a right to dignity at work irrespective of his/her performance (unless it is negative behavior for the company). At the next instance of his public remarks, make sure you make him understand that this is not the army but a corporate world where people are not bound to respect you by the cadre but by the respect you earn for yourself.

I would like to advise you to look for a new assignment. When your boss, under whom you are working, does not understand the importance of your work, you should consider quitting the job. I feel that the frustration level increases in such situations.

Ravi

Thank you all for your valuable comments. They will really help me.

I had a word with my boss during my current performance appraisal, and he told me that he has nothing personal against me. He said that I am quite slow in my work and need constant follow-up to get a task completed.

He said though I am a good team member. He said that he loses temper because he himself doesn't have much time and is pressed by his job demands and his targets that he needs to achieve.

He told that he needs people who can support him and can run faster than him in getting a task done.

He clearly told that he expects perfection and is very particular about how and what is being done; it has to be smartness along with hard work.

I agreed to what he said, but I also told that I get demotivated by the following things:

1) His being critical about me in front of others
2) I have to work for many people at one time - people try to be bossy
3) Not able to prioritize work, need to identify what is important
4) Can satisfy everybody
5) Not able to manage vendor management properly

My work includes:

1) Booking tickets
2) Visas
3) Leave Records
4) Employee File Database Management
5) Vendor Management - Purchases / Repair of Office Equipment
6) Maintain Fixed Assets Register
7) General Housekeeping
8) Stationery Management

Please advise, how do I manage the above-mentioned functions in an effective way.

Regards,

Sarika